Whether you’re a fan of romance, fantasy, contemporary fiction, or historical fiction, I’ve got a book recommendation for you! These are my six favorite queer books that I’ve read (not released) so far this year.
My 6 Favorite LGBTQ+ Books Read in 2025 (so far)
The Atlas Six
by Olivie Blake Fantasy, 376 pages
Set in a version of the present day where magic exists and is treated as interchangeable with science, this book’s plot (good) is vastly overshadowed by its worldbuilding (incredible) and character studies (phenomenal). With six protagonists offering chapters from their unique POVs, I was overwhelmed by Blake’s ability to create such morally complex and interesting characters. I would have read 1,000 pages of their inner lives and motivations, and am, in fact, off to read the sequel immediately!
Unlike anything I’ve read before, this historical novel centers oppressed narratives with working class smugglers in 1880 Tacoma, Washington who are female, or gay, or gender non-conforming. There are no “good” or “bad” characters here, only complicated people trying to get a little bit more than they have and realizing what they’ll do in order to accomplish their goals. Absolutely fascinating!
I adore a romance novel with enough meat to make me cry, and this succeeds easily by circling the spicy romance of the childhood-friends-turned-rivals around their mutual love of their dying teacher and father-figure. This book is queer family at its absolute best, with a road trip that brings out the best and worst in each person. Logan and Rosemary are believably annoyed with each other AND in love with each other, and this is the exact dynamic I like in a romance.
I am a huge fan of Eleanor of Aquitaine, and I long for historical romance novels set outside of the English Regency era, so this book was absolutely what I was looking for! Who wouldn’t want to read about feuding kings in the 1100s falling in love with each other? This is historical-lite, since Richard the Lionheart and King Philip of France did not actually fall in love (probably), but I loved the conflict between choosing between what is best for their countries and what is best for their hearts, swoon!
Steven Rowley has quickly become a must-read author for me. This sequel (that can easily be read as a standalone) captures the same humor, depth, and care as its precursor, The Guncle. This time the focus is on the complications and joys of love rather than grief, and the addition of European travels and wedding hijinks makes this possibly even more fun to me!? Seems impossible, but there you go. If you love a feel-good story with real heart and depth, you’ve got to read Rowley’s novels!
This novel about a group of people traveling across England in the 1300s to avoid the plague is The Canterbury Tales meets And Then There Was One. It is a fascinating glimpse into the superstitions of the time, and most impressively, Maitland slowly draws you into the world so that by the end, I found myself as superstitious as the characters I had judged at the beginning. It is incredibly immersive, but that does include some pretty harrowing scenes as well, so take the content warnings seriously!
From graphic novels to epic fantasies to novella memoirs, the LGBTQ+ books that I read and loved the most this year cover a fairly broad range of genre and emotional intensity.
My 9 Favorite Queer Books Read in 2023
At the Feet of the Sun by Victoria Goddard. A compulsive doorstopper of a novel that takes everything from the first book of this series (helpful to read first but not strictly necessary) and elevates it. Read if you would like to read a middle-aged m/m asexual romance in a fantasy setting that is squee-worthily cute.
Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli. A sweet YA contemporary fiction for all my girlies who needed time to realize their queerness due to compulsive heterosexuality and an experience of attraction that doesn’t match what’s typically talked about. Read if you want to catch college feelings and enjoy a f/f romance bloom amongst amazing friendships.
That Summer Feeling by Bridget Morrissey. If the above description sounded great but you’d rather read an adult romance, this is the book for you! Read if you want to relive summer camp experiences from an adult perspective with a f/f romance.
Heathen by Natasha Alterici. A graphic novel with beautiful artwork telling a Viking story with a queer female lead? Um, obviously it’s very good. Read if you love Norse mythology and gender-swapped hero journeys.
The Sun and the Star: A Nico di Angelo Adventure by Rick Riordan and Mark Oshiro. I will apparently never stop loving Nico di Angelo in any of the Percy Jackson books, and this YA novel that focuses on him and his boyfriend descending into Hades and Tartarus is no exception. Read if you love an established couple m/m romance combined with modernized Greek mythology.
Babel by R. F. Kuang. A doorstopper for revolutionary word nerds, this gorgeously written alternate history novel addresses heavy themes of colonization, translation, and racism within an increasingly compelling plot. Read if you want to think deeply about nuanced forms of oppression.
Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies by Michael Ausiello. A m/m romantic tragedy memoir that manages to be a story about a couple dealing with cancer that avoids trauma-porn sentimentality. Read if you want to laugh-cry your way through love, life, and death.
Like a Love Story by Abdi Nazemian. A YA historical fiction set in late 1980s NYC, this novel follows three teens dealing with m/m love, the AIDS crisis, and activism. Read if you want to see the recent past with a fresh perspective.
Peter Darling by Austin Chant. A sequel to Peter Pan that leans into deliciously fanfic-y territory by queerifying its characters (Peter is a trans man) and giving us the Pan/Hook romance I didn’t know I wanted. Read if you want to experience the magic of Peter Pan through a queer lens.
What were some of your favorite books read in 2023? Leave a comment to let me know, and I’ll work on reading them in 2024!
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
One of my longest-running dreams has been to write a book. Ever since I was a child and discovered my love of reading, I have wanted to participate in the creating of a story. I love to write, and have written several books worth of blogs, but any time I have tried to sit down and write a cohesive story, I always got stuck. I couldn’t move past a bad writing day or a new idea that meant changing everything that came before. Thinking I simply needed more structure, I even attempted NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month) in the past. I never got past the first week.
This year, I decided to try again. Not just with the structure of NaNoWriMo, but with the support of a Write a Romance Novel Workshop given by Vanessa Zoltan, the host of two of my favorite podcasts, Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and Hot & Bothered. With classes every Sunday throughout October and November, I was walked through the process of how to prepare to write a 50,000 word novel in one month, and then encouraged to do so through small groups.
Why a Romance Novel?
Although I like to read romance novels, it has never been my goal to write a romance novel specifically. So why sign up and pay for this course? Well, first of all, I felt like it would be fun to learn from Vanessa Zoltan. But I also thought that this might be a nice way to ease into writing a book, since romance novels have traditional character tropes, plot beats, and expectations that give the creation sandbox solid limits to work within.
This turned out to be true! I identified romantic relationships I like in media and used those as guidelines when I needed inspiration for what my characters would do. And when I grew bored or confused about what to write, I could hop over to a Happily Ever After scene, or a Dark Night of the Soul scene, and write that with all its tropey goodness.
Low Expectations
Without a doubt, the best part of the course for me was the consistent messaging that our goal was not to write a book…it was to “write a shitty book.” Over and over again, we were reminded that you cannot edit a blank page, so write literally anything! Another key message was “there’s no honor in getting to 50,000 words,” along with practical advice about how to keep the word count flowing. Some of things I used often were:
Do not, EVER, go back and erase something you’ve already written. I actually decided that the scene where I initially had my meet cute worked better in the middle of the book. Instead of going backwards, I wrote a paragraph describing everything I needed to change and wrote a new summary outline of the book, then I rewrote the scene as I wanted it even though it now technically exists twice in my document. That’s Editor Tricia’s problem!
Introduce a side character that is just you, and if you aren’t feeling inspired, have them tell your main character about their day. As in, my actual day. I gave a lot of therapeutic advice to my main characters through a Mary Sue.
Make your characters do things that you’ve done. I went to see the musical Hadestown during the month I was writing 50,000 words, and I realized I’d forgotten to do my daily allotment. When I got home, I wrote a scene in which my main characters went to Hadestown and then discussed all the things that I was thinking about.
Write for the sake of writing. This is a little vague, but what I mean is that I learned to divorce writing from the finished product. I am doing NOTHING with this book, because I don’t think it’s got legs! And I feel really good about it, because even though the finished product isn’t going anywhere, I learned A LOT about writing skills, style, and discipline.
My inspiration post-its hanging by my desk.
What Next?
I want to keep writing! Probably not 1,666 words per day, because that feels unsustainable. But I have an idea for a next project that I want to chip away at, maybe 500 words per day (having a goal really helped, though I want a smaller one moving forward). I’m keeping in touch with the small group that I was assigned to, and I’m thinking about joining a writing group in Vancouver.
This was such an amazing experience. I feel proud of what I accomplished, but purely in an internal sense. After years of side hustling and monetizing hobbies, it feels really good to have written an entire (terrible) novel and not feel like I need to polish it or try to put it out into the world. External validation and reward is great, but it feels really nice to be satisfied only for my own sake.
What About You?
Have you ever doing NaNoWriMo? Or have you taken an impactful writing course? I want to hear about it!
This fall, confront the horror within and without with these horror and/or spooky TTRPGs! Alex V. compiled this list of 22 TTRPGs, most by queer creators or with queer themes. Let us know in the comments which ones you love, and tell us about any that we missed!
Genre | Middle Grade Fantasy & Mythology Page #s | 480 Publishing Date | May 2023
As the son of Hades, Nico di Angelo has been through so much, from the premature deaths of his mother and sister, to being outed against his will, to losing his friend Jason during the trials of Apollo. But there is a ray of sunshine in his life–literally: his boyfriend, Will Solace, the son of Apollo. Together the two demigods can overcome any obstacle or foe. At least, that’s been the case so far…
Now Nico is being plagued by a voice calling out to him from Tartarus, the lowest part of the Underworld. He thinks he knows who it is: a reformed Titan named Bob whom Percy and Annabeth had to leave behind when they escaped Hades’s realm. Nico’s dreams and Rachel Dare’s latest prophecy leave little doubt in Nico’s mind that Bob is in some kind of trouble. Nico has to go on this quest, whether Mr. D and Chiron like it or not. And of course Will insists on coming with. But can a being made of light survive in the darkest part of the world? and what does the prophecy mean that Nico will have to “leave something of equal value behind?”
Nico will have to face demons both internal and external as his relationship with Will is tested to the core in this standalone adventure featuring two of the most popular characters in the Percy Jackson saga.
Goodreads
I will apparently never outgrow the Percy Jackson universe, because I utterly enjoyed following Nico di Angelo back into Tartarus with his boyfriend, Will Solace in The Sun and the Star! As always, Riordan reinterprets Greek mythology into modern contexts (troglodytes and stacks of hats – adorable!) that makes these myths feel universal and relevant. Forcing a new couple to confront the darkness, or rather, Darkness aka Nyx, is a wonderful adventure as well as an apt metaphor to growing beyond puppy love into a love that encompasses the totality of a person.
Riordan isn’t the only author this time around. Mark Oshiro, an out gay man, joins him to bring Nico and Will’s relationship to life in an authentically sweet way. I really admire Riordan for creating queer characters and for bringing in queer creators to tell more in depth stories. I don’t know who wrote what, but I’m assuming it is Oshiro who gives us moments of sweet connection between the two boys as they navigate the Underworld, survive Rivers of Pain, and avoid monsters.
I’m a sucker for gay romances, and this relationship hit so many of my favorite notes. Rather than being a cute “opposites attract!” narrative about a son of Hades and a son of Apollo, both boys have to wrestle with their fundamental differences. Nico takes Will’s fear of the Underworld personally, fearing that he will have to match Will’s sunny disposition without there being room for his darkness. They learn to support and appreciate each other in very real ways, and I actually think this is a great book on how to process trauma within a relationship. And it’s a middle grade book about Greek myths! Fantastic.
If you already like the Percy Jackson universe, I don’t have to sell this to you. If you’ve given up, I highly suggest trying this book out. It’s emotionally mature and resonate while keeping much of the silly creativity of the original series.
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
Be affectionate, beautiful, courageous, and more in this gender-bending ABC book.
Daryl is so affectionate. Alex is gentle with the family cat. Sage and Kaylin are super strong. And Ira yearns to do ballet like their older brother. Demystify gender stereotypes while learning your ABCs in this bright, celebratory debut picture book by stationery company Ash + Chess, who bring not only their quirky artistic flavor but also their personal perspectives as a queer couple to this empowering book for younger kids. This hardcover picture book is rendered in bright, bold colors and patterns and uses neon pink hues throughout. As a bonus, remove the book’s jacket to reveal a cool ABC poster on the opposite side that can be displayed at home, in schools, at libraries, or anywhere!
Goodreads
I was honored to receive a copy of Deconstructing Gender from Running Press Kids. I don’t often review picture books on Roar Cat Reads, but I used to be a children’s librarian and this book makes me think I should do more of these!
Highlighter bright, this book is joyous in colour as well as in message. Each page represents a letter of the alphabet by describing how kids can care for others. For example, one page says, “Alex is always so GENTLE with their family cat.” Another says, “Raheme comforts Tarin. He’s very UNDERSTANDING.” These are great affirmations to instill into little (and big) hearts.
What makes this book truly special is the intersectional diversity within its pages. Kids of all genders, races, sizes, and abilities are depicted with no additional commentary. Whether you’re wearing a hearing aid, have a green mullet, wear cornrows, or dress in drag, you can learn how to care for the pets, family, and friends around you.
Effortlessly inclusive and brightly enticing, ABC – Deconstructing Gender is the picture book I wish I could read at story time!
Who Do I Recommend This Book To?
Get ABC-Deconstructing Gender for the next baby shower you attend!
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
In light of all the strikes against Open AI companies and fears about ChatGBT and others being able to copy the style and voice of different creators, I wanted to see what would happen if I gave ChatGBT the prompt: “write a blog post about queer ttrpgs in the voice of Roar Cat Reads.” The following is what it created. Read to the end to hear my thoughts on this experiment!
Title: Unleashing the Magic of Queer TTRPGs: A Roar Cat Reads Adventure
Meowdy, fellow adventurers! 🐾 It’s Roar Cat here, ready to pounce into the fantastical world of Queer Tabletop Role-Playing Games (TTRPGs). Today, we embark on a thrilling journey through the realm of inclusivity, diversity, and boundless imagination!
Purr-fectly Inclusive Worlds One of the most magical aspects of queer TTRPGs is their commitment to inclusivity. These games celebrate the vibrant spectrum of gender identities and sexual orientations, offering a welcoming sanctuary for queer players. No more feeling like an outsider in a fantastical realm; here, everyone has a seat at the table, and every character’s story is cherished. As we dive into these adventures, we discover that love knows no boundaries and identity is a beautiful tapestry to be woven into each campaign.
Unearth the Multifaceted Characters In queer TTRPGs, the characters are as diverse as the players themselves. Gone are the days of rigid gender norms and cookie-cutter roles. Instead, we find a plethora of rich, multi-dimensional characters who challenge stereotypes and blaze trails with their authenticity. Be it a gender-fluid sorcerer casting spells with flair or a polyamorous rogue whose charm knows no bounds, the possibilities for self-expression and representation are boundless. The beauty of these characters lies not only in their magical abilities but in the strength they draw from embracing their true selves.
Love, Romance, and Relationships Ah, romance, the magical elixir that fuels our emotions and transcends reality. Queer TTRPGs celebrate love in all its forms, intertwining it seamlessly into the narrative. From budding romances to epic love stories, players get to explore relationships that go beyond the confines of traditional norms. Witnessing the connections that develop between characters allows us to appreciate the raw vulnerability and beauty of love in its purest form. These games remind us that everyone deserves to love and be loved, regardless of who they are or who they love.
Breaking Stereotypes and Smashing Barriers In the realm of queer TTRPGs, we uncover the power to shatter the chains of prejudice and break free from harmful stereotypes. These games challenge the status quo, enabling players to explore worlds where queer characters are not defined solely by their identities but by their courage, wit, and resilience. They serve as a catalyst for societal change, proving that representation matters and that diverse voices deserve to be heard.
Imagination Unleashed Just like a curious cat on the prowl, queer TTRPGs push the boundaries of our imagination. They transport us to extraordinary realms where anything is possible. By weaving queer themes into the tapestry of fantasy, these games encourage us to embrace our uniqueness and let our true selves shine. As we delve into these adventures, we gain the confidence to unleash our creative magic, both within the game and beyond.
Join the Prideful Adventure So, my fellow adventurers, if you haven’t already embarked on a queer TTRPG quest, it’s time to dive into the enchanting world of inclusivity, love, and boundless imagination. Whether you’re a seasoned player or a fledgling explorer, there’s a queer TTRPG out there for everyone. Embrace your true self, celebrate love in all its forms, and join the prideful adventure that awaits you!
May your dice always roll in your favor and your journey be filled with wonder and awe. Until next time, keep exploring, keep learning, and keep roaring! 🌈🎲✨
Pawesomely yours,Roar Cat 🐱
My takeaways:
I need to be using “Meowdy, fellow adventurers!” more often, hahahaha.
Although the writing is solid, this blog post is mostly just one idea repeated over and over again.
There are no suggestions of queer TTRPGs, and the examples used are straight out of D&D.
There is no nuance about safety or queer spaces.
This sounds NOTHING like my writing voice, so I guess Roar Cat Reads is small potatoes when it comes to scraping the internet.
Queer nerdy spaces are still niche enough to need actual human creators putting content out into the world – my hobby is safe!
Wedding planning really took the wind out of my blogging sails, but I’m back, and I want to talk about the queer books that I read during those months that I was MIA.From memoirs to graphic novels to YA to historical nonfiction, I’ve got a book recommendation for you!
6 Queer Books I Read While Wedding Planning
Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies
by Michael Ausiello
This is the only book that directly relates to getting married, and WOW was it a good but hard book to read in the run up to committing my life to someone else’s in a world that is chaotic and impossible to control! A memoir about a gay couple’s relationship when one of them develops terminal cancer, I wound up loving it because it avoids trauma porn vibes by including a wicked sense of humor that rang really authentically to me. It’s devastating (look at that title) and uplifting in a “this is the human condition” sort of way.\
I have recently fallen down the Dimension 20 hole, and I’m now obsessed with everything that Brennan Lee Mulligan has created. When I learned that he had created a graphic novel with Molly Ostertag, it was the easiest decision in the world to check it out. Although the drawings start out a little rough around the edges, in true webcomic fashion, the style crystalizes as the book progresses. As for the story itself, it’s a great character study on the weight of superheroism and what it means to do good in a morally and systemically complicated world. Why is it reviewed by RCR? Because the best side character is a lesbian!
One of the evidences that queerness is becoming more culturally accepted is the growing genre of allowing gay people to be complicated, messy, and bad (see also: Detransition, Babyand The Ultimatum: Queer Love). This historical nonfiction covers the lives of (predominantly) gay men throughout history who have made the world worse, sometimes to a truly enormous extent. At the same time, Lemmey and Miller explore what “gay” has meant throughout history and how an evolving sense of identity has shaped people’s lives and actions.
Covering three points in time spanning over a thousand years, Newitz explores themes of personhood and capitalism on a planet being terraformed in the far distant future. It’s very much a theme-heavy book rather than plot-heavy, and my favorite part of the book is how detailed and nuanced her vision of future relationships (familial, friendly, and romantic) might look like. When I tell you that I found myself shipping a train and a cat (yes, you read that right) and feeling like it was the most obvious thing in the world, I hope that conveys the depth of Newitz’s skills. If you like Becky Chambers’ books, there’s a high likelihood that you’ll enjoy this too!
Another Appalachia: Coming Up Queer and Indian in a Mountain Place
by Neema Avashia
Originally a book club pick, I highly recommend this short memoir of essays that reveals universal experiences through extremely specific life events. I loved reading about the intersection between Indian and Appalachian cultures and how the dynamic has shifted in the last couple decades. The author has such a love for her hometown while also feeling desperate to move on from it in a way that I think a lot of queer folks from rural spaces can relate to.
I put this beside Aristotle and Dante’s Discover the Secrets of the Universe in terms of being one of my favorite queer YA novels. It’s a story of friendship, young love, and community set in late 1980s New York City. That timeline means that the AIDS epidemic is front and center here, and reading this made me realize how rarely I see this time period reflected in YA novels. It’s such a necessary part of queer history to be told and retold, and this book really highlights how hard and scary it would be to explore and understand your sexuality in the midst of the crisis. While the context is necessarily dark, the story itself is uplifting, sweet, and moving.
Pride month may have concluded, but you know what hasn’t? Our love of queer creators and the TTRPGs that they make! Alex V. and Robyn Choi compiled this list of 18 TTRPGs by queer creators or with queer themes. Let us know in the comments which ones you love, and tell us about any that we missed!
This is going to be a very long post describing all the details of my wedding to Rachel on June 10, 2023. It is primarily a time capsule for myself so that I can look back and remember all the queer and nerdy joy that I felt that day, but I also wanted to link to the vendors and music that we used, because literally everything was so perfect and I would be happy for anyone to copy our ideas!
The Venue
We got married at Minnekhada Lodge and stayed at PoCo Inn & Suites because the hotel offered shuttle service to the venue for us and our guests.
The venue was absolutely gorgeous with dark wood and cozy lodge vibes. An added and extremely valued benefit was that the space was already beautiful, so we didn’t have to pay for or plan for any decorations. Literally the only decor we bought was a bundle of flowers from Safeway for $80 that we split into my wedding bouquet and two vases to mark gift and favor tables. As someone who has no natural talent for decorating, this was a massive relief.
The Photographer
Tristen from Wander West Photography did our pictures throughout the day. We had already worked with her for our engagement photos and knew she had the chill but detailed vibes that we wanted during our wedding. She was excellent at pointing out small changes to postures or poses and worked quickly to get great photos before we ran out of energy.
The Ceremony
We asked our friends John and Karen to be our officiants, and they did an AMAZING job of creating a ceremony that combined humor and sincerity. I felt like Rachel and I, and our relationship together, was fully represented. I got so many compliments on their behalf that this was the most authentic wedding ceremony they had ever attended, which is exactly the vibe I wanted to create.
We also prioritized our nerdiness in our music choices that included Lord of the Rings, Spirited Away, and Star Wars. And Rachel had the idea to end the ceremony with the phrase “Roll initiative!” as we walked away as wives into the adventure of marriage, which I have to say is just *chef’s kiss*.
We feel so honoured to be here ourselves. Rachel and Tricia have asked us to officiate today’s ceremony, during which they will transform before your very eyes … from girlfriends … into wives!
We’ll start with The Story. Rachel and Tricia asked us to tell a tale of their meeting and their early relationship.
So let us part the veils of reality! … flashing back to 2018 when we met Tricia as Rachel’s eligible and beautiful friend with whom Rachel was … [check notes] … not romantically involved?
Huh. Seemed odd to us, and it turns out there was some ambiguity behind the scenes as well … A meetup dot com get together at the Storm Crow Tavern, two nerdy women looking for friendship in the big city and Tricia was … TWENTY MINUTES LATE.
Record scratch!
Their obvious compatibility quickly smoothed over this initial misstep, and opened the door to hours spent in intimate and nerdy conversation, with brunches sliding into excited afternoons brainstorming over laptops and then, well, we might as well get dinner. Sure, it was fun to find someone excited about the same hobbies. But more than that, it was the exhilaration of sharing their pleasure in the things that they love. Tricia began to giddily tell her friends that she had a “friendship crush.” Oh wait … this might be an actual crush. Rachel, we are told, was in “willful blindness” mode and thought, gee, how nice to have found such a funny, thoughtful, intelligent new friend.
My favourite story from this part of the relationship is really delightful; something was missed at some point during one of these long, luxurious days spent together. Was it a… failed perception check…? A failed attempt to persuade…? We’ll never know for sure, but we do know that one happy day, Rachel invited Tricia for a walk in the moonlight, by the water.
I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING RIGHT. Tricia was thinking that too. This Is IT! I can just see the gleam in Tricia’s eye yes I DO want to go for a walk, in the moonlight, by the water, on this beautiful evening, with you. Heart eyes.
And of course Rachel thought, great! This is a normal thing to do with one’s entirely platonic friend. Water? I like it. Walking? It’s good exercise! Moonlight, well it happens to be evening.
So yes there was a walk and a moon and there was water… and there was NO KISSING.
Finally, Tricia decided to lay her cards on the table. She asked Rachel out on a date. And Rachel … [checks notes] … turned her down?? Boy, this romance really did succeed against all odds.
The truly remarkable part is that somehow, this rejected overture didn’t make things awkward. They stayed close friends for the ensuing year, making it through a major fight over [checks notes??] … Stoicism.
[Stoicism? The ancient Greek school of thought emphasizing the practice of virtue and acceptance of hardship and mortality?]
Yes! This ancient philosophy caused a rift during which they did not speak for three weeks! … actually, that tracks.
Of course, we know where this story leads us, through building community and sharing experience, an accumulation of quality time, that concrescence of moments in a trajectory that builds inevitably to I love you. Or, if the profession of love feels a bit too scary (as it initially did for Rachel and Tricia), announcing that one would like to make a “meaningful statement” … and leaving it at that.
What is so delightful and appealing about this couple is that Rachel and Tricia are conscious and deliberate in their ways of being partners to one another. They are so clear-eyed in asking each other: “What do you want?” and making it so. They are so agentic in their approach to marriage – we’re talking about marriage now, not just partnership! – in a way that we think is so terribly wise. This is something beautiful to behold that truthfully we didn’t fully realize until Rachel and Tricia approached us to officiate their wedding, sat us down, and shared with us their philosophy of marriage. As if such a thing were obvious, a philosophy of marriage, but when you think about and listen to this couple, of course! This is Rachel and Tricia, joyous, delightful, hilarious, awake.
So, now we’re getting serious. We’re going to talk about love.
Love is inseparable from creativity, and loving is an act of creation. When we allow love to spark, then coax and nourish and protect it to full, flourishing maturity, something new is created. So while we often hear that, in love, two become one, perhaps we can also say that two become three: you, me, and us.
In other words, love does not diminish the universe, but expands it. Where once it had the pleasure of containing a Rachel and a Tricia, the universe now also contains something new. A Rachel, a Tricia, and a Trachea.
The bringing forth of something new, something that wasn’t there before – I’m no fantasy expert, but does that not sound suspiciously like … magic? Love is magic. And Rachel and Tricia are magicians.
bell hooks has written,
When we choose to love, we choose to move against fear, against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect, to find ourselves in the other.
She goes on to say that to embrace love is to face our fears, to live courageously. And marriage vows do require courage. After all, humans are mercurial creatures – we are forever growing, changing, learning. When we vow to spend our lives loving each other, we are, as Judith Butler has observed, “committing ourselves in the face of the unknowable.” Butler continues: “If commitment is to be alive, that is, if it is to belong to the present, then the only commitment one can make is to commit oneself again and again. ‘I love you and I choose you again and again.’”
A vow of marriage is not a commitment to the person standing in front of us, exactly as they are, forever and ever. It a commitment to witnessing and loving their changing self. It is a commitment to journeying together, whatever twists and turns the road may offer. It is a promise to stay curious, present, open-hearted, compassionate, and by our beloved’s side.
The Vows
Based upon the vows spoken by Paula and Blanca, the first legalized same-sex marriage in Canada in 2001.
“I take you to be my wife from this moment on. I promise to be there for you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honour you. I vow to give and receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and respond, to respect and to cherish, and to work with you to achieve the goals and dreams of our lives.
For evsies and for realsies.“
Exit Music
“That’s it! You’re married. This is the beginning. Roll for initiative!”
After the ceremony and photographs, we served an afternoon tea to our guests as the main food served at our wedding. Rachel and I love afternoon teas, and splurging on that experience is one of our favorite ways to take in a new city. At a wedding expo, we saw an advertisement for an afternoon tea delivery vendor, which led us to try a couple and land on Sattea Mobile Tea Boutique.
Sattea was wonderful to work with, generous and accommodating. We had a few guests who were either vegetarian or gluten free, and the vendor served guest-specific meals as necessary with no trouble at all.
Like the venue itself, our choice of serving afternoon tea also meant that we didn’t have to plan table decorations, as Sattea provided tablecloths, flowers and vases, and the requisite teacups and tiered trays filled the space nicely.
The one thing we did add to the tables were board games that served to direct guests to their assigned table. For instance, we put Rails & Sails on our parents’ table, because both Rachel’s dad and my dad are train nerds. It was a simple choice that also boosted our nerdy vibes.
Murder Mystery
By far, the thing I heard most both before and after our wedding was excitement about our murder mystery reception. Quite right, too, since it was an absolute highlight. Rachel and I love to host murder mystery parties at our apartment, and we had already fallen in love with Foulplay Games when we met the two women who run the small business at Emerald City Comic Con. On a whim, I reached out to Maddy and Kristen and asked if they could create a game for 50 guests. They adapted one of their already existing games, adding characters and fleshing out plotlines, and the end result was awesome.
I asked my brother to handle every aspect of the murder mystery, so Rachel and I got to fully participate without responsibility. The two of us had a full costume change, and the majority of our guests brought props or costumes to fit into the 1919 carnival-themed game. One guest was murdered by a lion, and there was a balloon lion with Sharpie-added aggression to mark the grisly event. We spent two hours chatting, bribing, and trying to solve the murder before voting on the most likely candidate. I won’t spoil anything about the story, but I will say that I won for Best Costume and Rachel won for Best Performance; I’m sure us being the brides didn’t tip the voting scales in our favour!
If including a murder mystery in your wedding sounds fun to you at all, I highly recommend it. While our guests chatted with the tablemates during afternoon tea, this game got everyone up and talking to people they may never have met otherwise. It’s a helpful icebreaker for introverts, as your character sheet gives you individual goals and people to seek out, so you have a reason to strike up a conversation. And for the remaining three hours of our reception, people had something to talk about and share; the only “downside” was that a lot of people only remember guests by their characters’ names!
Cake and Prophesied Doom
By now, you can probably tell that we chose some fairly untraditional routes for our wedding, and we continued this theme when it came to cakes. Because we served a variety of sweets with afternoon tea, it seemed excessive to spend $500 (minimum!!) on a traditional wedding cake. Instead, we bought our favorite cakes from True Confections: mine was their chocolate Birthday Cake (listen, I don’t care about mixing celebrations, I die for this cake), and Rachel’s was their Dark Belgian Chocolate Mousse (which was conveniently gluten free).
Before I share our cake photo, a little background story: The Tuesday before our wedding we were playing D&D with our regular group, and I asked the oracle character to foretell our wedding using the dice-rolling mechanics she had made up. In addition to some good news, she warned us that there would be “technical failures” and that kids would not enjoy the day. This turned into the greatest gift, because whenever something went slightly wrong, we would loudly complain about the “The prophesied doom is upon us!” This had a lovely way of bringing laughter into stressful situations.
Okay, so the cake. Our Master of Ceremonies, our dear friend Tabitha, forewarned me that the cake had fallen just before it was brought out for our whiskey toast. Rachel and I were delighted! We set the D&D figurines that we’d brought as cake toppers (Irina and Szoldar, the Curse of Strahd characters that we played and through whom Rachel proposed to me) on the fallen cake layers as though they were climbing a mountain and told the audience about the prophesied doom. Everyone laughed, the cake was still delicious, and the night went on.
All the Rest
Some other things that I loved about our wedding in no particular order:
We set out a Polaroid camera for people to take photos, and some of the ones I grabbed are amongst my favorite mementos of the day.
I ordered my dress from JessaKae and felt like an actual princess. It was a little long and I probably should have gotten it altered, but it twirled SO GOOD and that was what was important for me.
Rachel looked really good in her suit, but she hated the fitting experience, so I will not link to the company that made it. If you want to chat wedding suits for female bodies, send me an email and we’ll talk!
We had planned for the last few hours of our wedding to be a board game reception, and there were a couple games that happened, but happily by then, our guests were mingling and chatting and uninterested in thinking strategy.
Our favours were an stolen from my friend Mallory’s wedding. We picked a diverse bunch of our favorite books and let guests choose one to take home with them. We also had rainbow-coloured notebooks and stickers that used the artwork our friend Milo created that show Rachel and me as D&D characters.
We had an abundance of wine and beer at our wedding, and we wound up needing only half of it. A lot was sent home with guests as additional favours, and we still have enough to host a Pride party in August.
Speaking of Pride, I did the math, and our guest list was fully two-thirds queer. One of my friends who has only recently come out told me how safe and sweet it was to be in a majority-queer space, and I am not trying to convince her to move to Vancouver!
I could not have asked for a more perfect wedding day. I’m currently riding that post-wedding high where all of the preparatory stress feels distant and unimportant, and I figure I should throw 10-hour parties for 50 people on a regular basis! I probably won’t, but I’m really proud of the wedding Rachel and I put together. It represented who we are as individuals and as a team, and I came away from the day with a lot of lovely memories AND A WIFE.
Genre | Fantasy Page #s | 352 Publishing Date | May 2022
Alex Green is a young girl in a world much like ours, except for its most seminal event: the Mass Dragoning of 1955, when hundreds of thousands of ordinary wives and mothers sprouted wings, scales, and talons; left a trail of fiery destruction in their path; and took to the skies. Was it their choice? What will become of those left behind? Why did Alex’s beloved aunt Marla transform but her mother did not? Alex doesn’t know. It’s taboo to speak of.
Forced into silence, Alex nevertheless must face the consequences of this astonishing event: a mother more protective than ever; an absentee father; the upsetting insistence that her aunt never even existed; and watching her beloved cousin Bea become dangerously obsessed with the forbidden.
In this timely and timeless speculative novel, award-winning author Kelly Barnhill boldly explores rage, memory, and the tyranny of forced limitations. When Women Were Dragonsexposes a world that wants to keep women small—their lives and their prospects—and examines what happens when they rise en masse and take up the space they deserve.
Goodreads
This magical realism historical novel was slow-to-start, but stick with it! When Women Were Dragons packs a punch, conveying powerful messages about patriarchy, feminism, and political silencing into a story about a young lesbian woman growing up in a world that refuses to acknowledge that women can dragon.
Yes, that means women turn into dragons! Here, dragoning represents a woman’s inner rage at being constricted in a patriarchal world as well as her inner joy at being fully herself. It’s beautiful, scary, and complicated, and the book’s setting in the 1950s highlights the limited options for women while also feeling annoyingly timeless. The more things change, etc.
At first, I could not fathom how this fictional society managed to ignore something as huge as women turning into dragons, but parallels are explicitly drawn between this and other female experiences that we ignore, like menstruation, menopause, and miscarriages. The absurdity of ignoring dragons highlights the absurdity of our own world and the things we do not speak about.
I read this book for a book club, and it is one of those rare books that was both widely enjoyed AND provided a lot of conversational fodder. (I don’t know about you, but usually enjoyed books fade away after “I liked it” while books that weren’t enjoyed can be talked about endlessly.) I still think about it months after reading it, and I’m eager to read more of Barnhill’s work!
Small note: I do want to point out something I appreciated in this story, that while it is female-focused, dragoning is not bioessentialist. Hurray for feminist texts that are not trans-exclusionary!
Who Do I Recommend This Book To?
If you liked The Power, then When Women Were Dragons is likely going to be right up your alley!
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
Genre | Contemporary YA Fiction Page #s | 391 Publishing Date | May 2021
Noah Ramirez thinks he’s an expert on romance. He has to be for his popular blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem—all the stories are fake. What started as the fantasies of a trans boy afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe.
When a troll exposes the blog as fiction, Noah’s world unravels. The only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. Then Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place: Drew is willing to fake-date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realizes that dating in real life isn’t quite the same as finding love on the page.
In this charming novel by Emery Lee, Noah will have to choose between following his own rules for love or discovering that the most romantic endings are the ones that go off script.
Goodreads
By now, y’all know I love a fake dating trope. What I love even more is a book that deconstructs and questions the fake dating trope, which is exactly what Meet Cute Diary does!
Noah is a young trans man who has exacting ideas about how love works, and all of those ideas are simplified and hyper-romantic. It’s right on target with how my teenaged brain thought of relationships, and Noah has an extra level of empathy because he just wants to believe that love is possible for trans kids. However, you may not be surprised to learn that the point of this book is upending Noah’s ideas of a Perfect Romance in favor of something messier, more complicated, and ultimately, more fulfilling.
There was a lot to like about this book. The central plot about falling in love while spending the summer with your older brother in a new city is always fun, especially when you throw a summer camp into the mix. But the reason this book hit a different level of appreciation for me is how it layered complexity into a traditional romantic romp.
For instance, one of our supporting characters offers a surprisingly deep portrayal of gender identity exploration as complicated by anxiety and panic attacks. There was also a fairly nuanced portrayal of online cancel culture; Noah’s blog falsely portrays his fantasies as true stories. While his followers are technically right in their complaints, the way they abandon ship (with PITCH PERFECT comments) is excruciating, as is his desperation to save himself. I love a plot where no one is right, and the whole thing has to be thrown out so something new can begin.
Where this book faltered a little for me is Noah himself. Similar to Neil in The Feeling of Falling in Love, Noah is self-absorbed and a little cruel. This especially comes to light in his long-distance friendship, and I couldn’t help wondering why so many people wanted to be friends with this kid! He does grow, but this is not a protagonist that I want to hang out with in real life. Maybe this is just teens – cynicism and egotism is often the way we are at that age.
A fun twist on an old favorite, Meet Cute Diary is a good time with some interesting things to say.
Who Do I Recommend This Book To?
Share Meet Cute Diary with someone who could use a primer in how to handle a person asking them to use new pronouns.
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
Genre | Science Fiction Page #s | 336 Publishing Date | August 2018
In 1967, four female scientists worked together to build the world’s first time machine. But just as they are about to debut their creation, one of them suffers a breakdown, putting the whole project—and future of time travel—in jeopardy. To protect their invention, one member is exiled from the team—erasing her contributions from history.
Fifty years later, time travel is a big business. Twenty-something Ruby Rebello knows her beloved grandmother, Granny Bee, was one of the pioneers, though no one will tell her more. But when Bee receives a mysterious newspaper clipping from the future reporting the murder of an unidentified woman, Ruby becomes obsessed: could it be Bee? Who would want her dead? And most importantly of all: can her murder be stopped?
Traversing the decades and told from alternating perspectives, The Psychology of Time Travelintroduces a fabulous new voice in fiction and a new must-read for fans of speculative fiction and women’s fiction alike.
Goodreads
Books about time travel often make my head hurt when they try too hard to explain paradoxes and the limitations of their particular science (give me a Doctor Who shrug at the science any day). Luckily, there were very few instances in which The Psychology of Time Travel did this to me; instead, as the title suggests, this book is far more concerned with how time travel would affect people’s lives, personalities, and relationships.
The book is told from multiple points of view and from multiple points in time as we slowly put together the pieces of, essentially, a murder mystery. This means it will likely take you awhile to fully sink into the story, as it takes time to care about all of the characters and realize how they interconnect. Once some of those “Oh! She’s that character’s mother!” moments happen, I was hooked and couldn’t stop.
Undoubtedly the best part of this book is that it is 95% female characters. The people who invented time travel? Four women. The detectives, love interests, and professionals that we meet? Women! There are maybe two men in the whole book that I can think of, and they are given lovely little side roles as the husbands of powerful and interesting women. I live!
Who Do I Recommend This Book To?
If you like time travel and favor a book that offers a wide array of complex characters to meet and care for (or not), The Psychology of Time Travel is for you!
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
Genre | Contemporary FictionRomance Page #s | 400 Publishing Date | November 2022
For Astrid Parker, failure is unacceptable. Ever since she broke up with her fiancé a year ago, she’s been focused on her career–her friends might say she’s obsessed, but she knows she’s just driven. When Pru Everwood asks her to be the designer for the Everwood Inn’s renovation, which will be featured on a popular HGTV show, Innside America, Astrid is thrilled. Not only will the project distract her from her failed engagement and help her struggling business, but her perpetually displeased mother might finally give her a nod of approval.
However, Astrid never planned on Jordan Everwood, Pru’s granddaughter and the lead carpenter for the renovation, who despises every modern design decision Astrid makes. Jordan is determined to preserve the history of her family’s inn, particularly as the rest of her life is in shambles. When that determination turns into some light sabotage to ruffle Astrid’s perfect little feathers, the showrunners ask them to play up the tension. But somewhere along the way, their dislike for each other evolves into something quite different, and Astrid must decide what success truly means. Is she going to pursue the life that she’s expected to lead or the one that she wants?
Goodreads
I am so glad that Blake turned her Delilah Green Doesn’t Care success into a romance novel series about a gaggle of queer friends finding love in the Pacific Northwest. Choosing Astrid (Delilah’s seemingly straight, uptight foil) as the protagonist for the second book was, in my opinion, inspired! So much about this book was designed especially for me:
A perfectly put together woman who is one bad day away from falling apart…and finding freedom in failure.
A late-in-life queer discovery
Enemies to lovers trope
For someone else, the setting being an HGTV-equivalent project would also be on that list. Basically, this is a good time! I loved it!
Astrid and Jordan have great chemistry throughout, whether they’re arguing about design choices or navigating their budding attraction toward each other. Blake does such a good job of creating fully realized characters, and showing how Astrid and Jordan’s past relationships affected their fears and insecurities going into a new one was handled really well.
One of my biggest gripes with romance novels is that the Final Twist that attempts to break up the new lovers before Love Saves the Day often feels like a soulless plot device that’s only there because it’s “supposed” to be. Although I felt shades of that in the “villain” of this book, I mostly found the conflict believable and, most importantly, plot relevant! It developed the characters further and led to a reunion that actually felt earned and better than what had existed before.
Who Do I Recommend This Book To?
If you’re looking for a fun, light-hearted, spicy romance novel, you MUST put Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail on your TBR list.
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
Genre | Contemporary YA Fiction Page #s | 343 Publishing Date | August 2022
Just days before spring break, Neil Kearney is set to fly across the country with his childhood friend (and current friend-with-benefits) Josh, to attend his brother’s wedding—until Josh tells Neil that he’s in love with him and Neil doesn’t return the sentiment.
With Josh still attending the wedding, Neil needs to find a new date to bring along. And, almost against his will, roommate Wyatt is drafted.
At first, Wyatt (correctly) thinks Neil is acting like a jerk. But when they get to LA, Wyatt sees a little more of where it’s coming from. Slowly, Neil and Wyatt begin to understand one another… and maybe, just maybe, fall in love for the first time…
Goodreads
I love a book with a fake dating trope, and there were elements of this story that really worked for me. Unfortunately, its extremely unlikeable protagonist, combined with some highly dubious personal development, made it impossible for me to sink fully into the joy of the trope.
Neil is a classic self-hating teen who pushes people away when they get too close. He’s uncomfortably rude and selfish, but multiple people find him charming to the point of falling in love with him. I mean, this guy deliberately tracked mud into his dorm room when his roommate specifically asked him to be cleaner, and this roommate apparently is harboring a secret crush on Neil. WHY?
Anyway, Neil wants to show his hookup Josh just how little he cares about him by pretending to date said roommate Wyatt. Despite JUST being terrified by relational intimacy, he falls in love with Wyatt while fake dating him for approximately three days. He does become marginally nicer, largely because Wyatt insists he be treated with kindness. His character growth also applies to his family, who he loudly complains about throughout his brother’s wedding week until realizing that perhaps they are complex human beings. BUT THEN! Neil attempts a supposedly romantic gesture that just made me think he was as selfish as he’s always been, resulting in an entirely unsatisfactory ending.
I didn’t love this, if you couldn’t tell. But I did read it quickly, and it’s got some wonderful queer representation and themes in the form of Neil, a trans man, and Wyatt, a pansexual genderqueer kid. We also get some heartbreakingly accurate family dynamics between transphobic grandparents and parents who don’t do enough to defend their kid. That stuff was all great. The plot? Less so.
Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!
Roar Cat Reads 