Roar Cat Reads

Tag: Advice Column

  • How closely do I need to stick to the rules?

    How closely do I need to stick to the rules?

    This week Roar Cat answers a question by a Dungeons and Dragons player who wants to GM but is intimidated by all the rules. Roar Cat offers advice on how to jump into GMing in the midst of learning the rules.

    Dear Roar Cat,

    I want to GM, but there are SO MANY rules in D&D, and if I’m honest, they really intimidate me. How closely do I need to stick to the rules, or can I just tell a fun story and make things up as I go?

    Sincerely,

    Overwhelmed by Rulebooks

    Dear Overwhelmed by Rulebooks,

    You are not the only person who has looked at the 320-page Player’s Handbook and 320-page Dungeon Master’s Guide with fear and trembling. The rules are there for a reason; after all, without them there would be no game! However, that doesn’t mean they are all equally important. When you are GMing, we recommend that you start with a knowledge of core rules and build from there as you play the game. Get a good sense of the following as a foundation:

    • How to Build a Character
    • Basic Combat Rules
    • Ability Checks

    Here at Roar Cat Reads, we also believe that the rules of D&D are flexible, meant to be read as guidelines to foster ideas and create game cohesion. When you are creating a game, take the rules that work for you and leave others behind. If you later realize that some of those rules that you ignored would have been useful, that’s totally okay! Use them in your next session. Many of us want our D&D sessions to be perfectly smooth from the jump, but the reality is often messy. A key GM trait is the flexibility to react to new information – both from players in-game and from your expanding knowledge.

    While you learn the rules and adapt them to your group’s style, keep the following in mind:

    • Accept corrections with humility and gratitude. You might GM for players who know more of the rules than you do. This can be uncomfortable, but keep in mind that D&D is a collaborative game. Any information shared at the table is useful for everyone, and it doesn’t all have to come from you as the GM.
    • If you’ve homebrewed a rule (accidentally or on purpose) and someone corrects you, make the decision as to whether you’re going to go with the established rulebook or homebrew as a group. While you have the final call as the GM, asking for a vote can keep players feeling like they have a voice at the table.
    • Similarly, if you get into a situation where a rule is not obvious or doesn’t exist, try to avoid breaking out of the story to spend several minutes Googling the scenario. Instead, let your players know that you are making your best call. Then note the question, look it up after the session, and let players know how that scenario will be played out in the future.
    • Explain your thought process as much as possible to your players, balancing the impact upon the session (“If I let this player do this thing, is it going to derail the story so completely that I won’t be able to recover?”) with the rule of cool.
    • Have confidence in your decision!

    D&D is fundamentally a game about creativity, and that includes rules. Do your best to learn, but in the end, all that matters is that you and your players are having fun. I recently ran a game where a player wanted to be a wood elf the size of a sprite. Instead of saying no or checking how this request would affect weapon attacks, I simply agreed and let the chaos roll. Everyone had a good time, which is what ultimately matters.

    Wishing you high intuition,

    Roar Cat Reads

    Send your D&D questions to Dear Roar Cat Reads at roarcatreads@gmail.com.

  • How do I make sure everyone is having fun at my D&D table?

    How do I make sure everyone is having fun at my D&D table?

    Dear Roar Cat,

    I am a new DM, and I find it difficult to manage my players’ different social styles. Some are eager to jump in, but others rarely speak up unless I ask them something specifically. How to I make sure both my quiet and my performative players are happy?

    Sincerely,

    I Just Want Everyone to Have a Good Time

    Dear I Just Want Everyone to Have a Good Time ,

    Group dynamics is one of the most difficult things to navigate in D&D, both as a player and especially as a DM. Ideally, you want all of your players to be equally engaged and contributing to the story. However, we all know that in reality, this is hard to achieve!

    The fact that you are already asking questions about this is a good sign. You are aware of your players and you care about making sure they are having fun. When you notice that some players are contributing more than others, ask yourself why there is a disparity. In general, it will be one of two reasons:

    Personality: People are different! A quieter player might be happy to sit back and let others drive the story, or they might wish they had more room to contribute. Those who are more gregarious love to take center stage to fill the necessary role of building story momentum, and they may or may not be happy to cede time to others when necessary.

    Conflict. In any group of people, conflict is inevitable. Learn to look for its early warning signs (passive aggressive behavior or comments, one person always getting their way, multiple players ganging up on another) and address the conflict as soon as possible. This can be as simple as a light-hearted “Wow, things are getting pretty heated here!” or addressing a specific player with, “How did your character feel when everyone did x?” Unaddressed conflict can build, leading players to become less and less involved in the game.

    Once you have identified the source of the disparity, you have a few options.

    • Keep checking in with your players, both in-game and out. During the adventure, ask your quieter players, “What is your character doing while Loud Player is acting?” This gives them the opportunity to contribute as much or as little as they like. Similarly, it never hurts to send a message to your players after the session, asking if everyone was happy with the amount of play time that they had.
    • Encourage quieter players. Intentionally make space for them by designing part of the session especially for them (a puzzle only a wizard can solve, an NPC from their character’s backstory who distrusts strangers, etc). Think about where that player has shown interest and enthusiasm in the past, then try to build adventures with similar hooks in the future.
    • If your showboater keeps talking over others or playing for them, this is a boundary issue. Start with a gentle reminder that the louder character is not involved in the scene or that they need to make space for others. If this doesn’t work, you might need to flex your communication skills outside of the session. These conversations tend to go more smoothly if you bring them into a positive plan rather than shutting them down. Try something like: “Help me bring ___’s character out (not as your sidekick); I think you would be really good at it!”

    As the DM, it is your role to manage social dynamics as well as the story. If you ask your players how they’re doing on a regular basis, and speak up for those who are quieter when necessary, you should find that everyone has the chance to contribute and have fun!

    Wishing you high charisma rolls,

    Roar Cat Reads

    Send your D&D questions to Dear Roar Cat Reads at roarcatreads@gmail.com.