Sports Ball 2021 Week 4 Review

by Rachel

Last Week’s Games

Real Slim Brady vs Super Seacows

Nothing can beat Real Slim Brady, even without McCaffrey, not even actual Tom Brady! Krista had this wrapped up by Sunday night with players left to play. The Seacows didn’t even have the points on the bench. If losing is “water off a Manatees back” I remind myself Seacows are aquatic. Better metaphors please, and better players, who’s for a week 6 redraft?

Finger Puppets vs Bad News Bears

Another game that was all but decided on Sunday night, Bad News Bears needed Tampa Bay defence to come out of the game with 6 points, Carrie needed a big upset and while the TB defence took a physical beating and lost some key pieces, they held on for the win. Unlike the Seacows, however, Carrie could have won it but left a few too many points on the bench. Better days ahead for the Finger Puppets, enjoy the winning while you can, Bears. They play again in week 14…

ECD vs Team Sorto

At the end of Sunday night: ECD 99.66 / Sorto 99.72 with Waller still left to play for the Doves. Zero point games do happen (#sideeye #Jaysesucks #otherleague #playoffs2019 #Alshonisdeadtome #donut) and it was a slow start to the game for Waller, but Las Vegas found their stride. The Doves pick up their first win since week 1 leaving Team Sorto needing to make some changes to turn their season around.

Beards R’ Us vs Replacements

Wow, the computer didn’t see that one coming. Beards got weedwhacked rather than manscaped! Hot off their first win last week, the Replacements mercilessly hacked away at the matted mess of Beard outscoring them by a ratio of 2:1, we’ve seen some blow out games before but my this was brutal. Top score for the replacements!

Fire Pandas vs Purple Moose

Another blow out, although to a lesser extent than the beard/replacement debacle. Turns out Eric’s team is human and can be stopped! Solid performances from certain Fire Pandas ensured a second victory for Tricia.

A Trade Happened!

A behind closed doors deal between Real Slim Brady and Team Sorto. Krista adds some RB depth to fill the void CMC left in the line up (not that it stopped her winning streak), and Adriana benefits from a frequently targeted tight end replacing the lack luster Logan Thomas who scored a big ol’ 0 last week…now available on waivers.

Standings After Week 4

Finally a definitive league leader, no sharing top spot for Real Slim Brady…everyone, get her!

The top half of the chart remains boringly stagnant, no place for a Seacow. They sink closer to the bottom in search of grass or garbage, whatever it is Manatees eat down there…clumps of hair and broken dreams by the looks of it. 

The Chart (of Lies)

Replacements stem the bleeding rising from 8th last week to 6th.

Bad News Bears are bumped out of top spot by the Bradys, ECD also gets a slight bump up from 6th to 3rd.

In the basement the door has opened, come on down team Sorto, bring more snacks, don’t get up Fire Pandas, you’re one of us now…

Preview of This Week’s Games

Team Sorto vs Super Seacows

Well the good news for these two teams is someone has to win. Will it be the Seacows with 4 Qs on in the line up (as of writing) or will Team Sorto finally win the bench points whack-a-mole they have been playing since week one. Look for the league poll to cast your vote.

the replacements vs Bad News Bears

Bad News, Bears, the Replacements broke your top score streak and have the opportunity to break your win streak now too. 

Purple Moose vs Battling Finger Puppets

The Purple reign of terror has ended, Eric will be looking to get back on track this week against the person who brought him in to the league, reigning champion Carrie and the Battling Finger Puppets. This is how I will be imaging their trash talk during this weeks game:

Beards R’ Us vs Real Slim Brady

Beards, you gonna be ok? 

Fire Pandas vs Doves 

The apparent ancestral enemies meet this week, this was the top search result for ‘doves and panda friends’:

This presumably shows John and Karen making off with what they think is the Fire Panda mascot in an attempt at sabotage… will it work or is it the wrong kind of Panda?