TV Recap

Sports Ball 2021 Week 13 Review

Since Week 12’s recap was cancelled due to final exams, Rachel has generously summarized each matchup with a single word:

One Word Week 12 Matchups

  • The replacements vs Seacows: Seacows!
  • Battling Finger Puppets vs Real Slim Brady: Felted-Finger-Puppets-of-War! (& Top Score)
  • Beards ‘R Us vs Bad News Bears: Excessive! 
  • Team Sorto vs Eurasian Collared Doves: Coooo!
  • Purple Moose vs Fire Pandas: Gory!

Last Week’s Games

Seacows vs Real Slim Brady

Seacows win! For the second time in a row, with top score of the week…what is happening?

Team Sorto vs Bad News Bears

A close game decided by less than 3 points, Jonathan further pads his den with wins.

Battling Finger puppets vs Purple Moose

The second meeting between these teams this year. The Finger Puppets seem to have found their playoff form, while the Moose are saving it all for the final rounds. Carrie leads the series between these teams 2-0.

Replacements vs Beards

We all remember last time these two teams met, how Amy reigned supreme? Well this time it was Jayse’s turn! Sharing victories, how sweet. Except the team that lost this game is in danger of missing the playoffs…

Doves vs Pandas

Panda > Dove. if only there was some kind of chart that could track the greatness of the animal based teams…

Standings After Week 13

The Chart (of Almost Certainly Truth)

All season I have been calling this chart a liar, and I’m not about to stop today! The chart has gathered so much data by this point in the season, its accuracy is pretty much a 15 yard field goal with 2 seconds on the clock… but will it doink?

If it doesn’t doink (aka if the chart is true) it will mean that Carrie of the Battling Finger Puppets will beat the Bad News Bears by 6 points this week (the necessary margin to split the tie). 

If it doinks (aka if the chart failed to truly value an underdog (or in this case Undercow) comeback narrative), the replacements will slip to 9th and the Seacows will rise from the murk to 8th and sweet sweet playoff football.

I shall be cheering for a doink!

Preview of This Week’s Games

Seacows Vs Team Sorto

The first step in the process of the chart doink is for the Seacows to secure a win in this game. If they fail, the Seacows and team Sorto will spend a total of one month playing each other to see who will have first pick next year. 

the replacements vs Purple Moose

Step two of the chart doink is for the Purple Moose to be victorious over the replacements. Only if the replacements lose can the Seacows sneak in to the playoffs. Will Amy shut the door on a manatee that has been gathering momentum the last two weeks?

Beards vs Fire Pandas

The app thinks there is still a chance the Beards won’t qualify for the playoffs. I’m not sure how it works this out, but the only way to truly know is if the Fire Pandas torch the Beards, by as many points as possible. Burn Beardy Burn!

Real Slim Brady vs Eurasian Collared Doves

The most civilised game this week that has no implications for playoff qualification and only a mild impact on Krista’s playoff match up…it must be nice.

Bad News Bears vs Battling Finger Puppets

BATTLE OF TITANS! If you have never watched another team’s game before, now is the time. This matters (kind of), this is for all the marbles (not really), this is for justice for all teams who lost to the Bad News Bears this year and that’s pretty much all of us. Put on your fuzzy felted hats, raise your tiny weapons and release your battle cry: Bad News, Bears! Punctuation matters!

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