Sports Ball 2021 Week 5 Review

Last Week’s Games

Team Sorto vs Super Seacows

The Super Seacows learned a lesson about disparaging the good name of Miles Gaskin. Luckily they didn’t need the 32 points he could have added and got their second win of the season. Team Sorto did outscore half the teams in the league this week so don’t write them off just yet, although Adriana now seems to be set on defending her clean record. Can the Sortos remain winless?

the replacements vs Bad News Bears

Apparently the Bad News Bears were a little upset about having their top score streak ended by the replacements and came to play this week achieving top score of all time! Serving up crushing defeat realness with 20’s, 20’s, 20’s across the board. The replacements did manage to keep it respectable; a spectacular Mark Andrews performance on Monday night saved Amy from the dreaded ‘doubled your score’ defeat she handed out last week.

Purple Moose vs Battling Finger Puppets

This game was close going in to Monday night but finished with the Finger Puppets 30 points ahead. An injured Chris Carson remained in Eric’s line up although he was ruled out for Thursday night’s game. Are the Purple Moose on vacation, or perhaps still reeling from their first loss last week?

Beards R’ Us vs Real Slim Brady

Beards did okay, coughing up a competitive score. I mean, Real Slim Brady still won by Sunday night with a player left on Monday but what are you going to do? They are unstoppable.

Fire Pandas vs Doves 

No victorious Coo this week, the Fire Pandas prove themselves the victor of this ancestral battle. And worse! Leading Dove Russel Wilson picked up an injured wing and will be sidelined for 4 weeks. As of writing, the ECD have not brought themselves to pick up a replacement.

Standings After Week 5

Some of these veterans are more grizzled than others. At the top of the table, Real Slim Brady remain perfect and are the only team to beat the Bad News Bears, who are just one win behind them. The rest of the division is under 500 and are in danger of losing their grizzled veteran status at the end of the season.

Meanwhile the underdogs is a much more competitive division with three teams sharing the same record and the ECD only one win behind. Sortos are after different goals, 0 goals to be precise, 0 goals and 1st pick next year!

The Chart (of Lies)

Clang Clang Clang, the end is Nigh Real Slim Brady, so sayeth the chart! Bad News Bears displace the league leaders as champions of the chart’s heart.

Despite their defeat, the replacements still see a rise from 6th last week to 4th this week.

Team Sorto descend the stairs to the basement and are passed by the Fire Pandas on the way up.

Preview of This Week’s Games

Super Seacows Vs Battling Finger Puppets

Fresh off wins last week, the good news for one of these two teams is one of them will have a 2 game winning streak at the end of this week! The chart of lies predicts it will be the Finger Puppets, but this is fantasy football, your opinion has no place here!

Beards R’ Us Vs Purple Moose

A battle of two teams in need of a win. Arguably the Beards need it more, but a third loss in a row after a stellar start to the season would set some alarm bells ringing for the Purple Moose.

Brady Vs Fire Pandas 

Can the Fire Pandas end another winning streak and extend their own? Could this be the week Krista finally tastes defeat? Look for the league poll to pick your favorite.

Bad News Bears vs Eurasian Collared Doves

Never was there a pluckier underdog than the hobbled, now cobbled ECD facing down the Bad New Behemoths. 

The replacements vs Team Sorto

Which replacements team will turn up this week? The soul crushing week 4 replacements or the crushed soul replacements of week 5, either way Adriana will be looking to protect her perfect record.