Roar Cat Reads

Author: Trish

  • Black Sails Season 2 Episode 4 Review – XII

    Black Sails Season 2 Episode 4 Review – XII

    Flint threatens Vane.  Eleanor chooses a side.  Rackham learns what Max is capable of.  Silver reunites with an old friend.

    (Summary provided by starz.com)

    BEST FLINT MOMENT

    “People can say what they want about you, but you’re a good man.  More people should say that, and someone should be willing to defend it.”

    I’M FOREVER SCREAMING INTO THE SUN, byyyyye.

    TODAY’S RUNNER UP

    Thomas!  He is, I believe, the best example of a “good person” we’ve had on this show.  He is so driven by his beliefs in the inherent goodness of humanity that he refuses to take an easier path to success despite knowing his ideals could potentially cause himself and his loved ones great harm.  For the previous three episodes, he was mostly an affable man, inspiring but kind of soft.  When he confronts his father, however, he is STEEL.

    Reader, I love him.

    LOL MOMENT

    Everything about Max’s description about the difference between fucking and seduction is comedy gold, from her earnest delivery to Idelle’s confused assurance to Jack’s certainty in the world crumbling around him.

    WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

    In this episode, we get two people caught in the middle of a messy situation.  Eleanor must decide whether to side with her partner (Flint) or the safest/smartest option (Vane), and in flashback, James must decide whether to side with his partner (Thomas) or the safest/smartest option (Lord Hamilton).

    Eleanor does her best to reconcile the two warring pirate captains, to no avail.  It is really wrenching to see her real fear at the possibility of a destabilized fort opening Nassau to another Spanish attack.  She knows that Flint knows it is a dangerous move, but she can’t convince him to change, so she sides with Vane.

    James spends the entire episode counseling Thomas to abandon his plan to pardon the pirates, both for communal and personal reasons.  He’s genuinely frightened of what may happen to Thomas if he were branded a coward for suggesting forgiveness for traitors.  But when it comes down to it, and he SEES someone attacking Thomas in just the way he feared, James stands (literally, oh my heart) and sides with his partner despite knowing it is not the safe or smart option.

    It is parallel storylines like these that make me really adore Black Sails.  We get to see two people making opposite decisions, but we feel for both of them.  There is clearly no easy answer for either of them, and though we might wish they chose differently, we cannot blame them for their decision.

    FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

    • Abigail!  Vane is shit for leaving her only maggoty bread, but she is awesome for eating it after only a moment’s hesitation.  Vane continues to show that he does not know the meaning of “good host” when he says, “My name is Charles Vane, and you are now my guest.  As such, no harm will come to you so long as you do exactly as I say.”  Um, OKAY, Charles.  Although it is rather lovely when they bond the tiniest bit over their shared satisfaction that Ned Lowe’s head is on a pike.
    • Anne, Jack, and Max wake in a pile, but Anne is snuggled up close to Jack.  She makes her alliance to Jack very clear throughout the episode, and I love her self-awareness that she needs him with her in the bedroom because her mind isn’t clear there. She’s exploring a new part of her sexuality, and it scares her. She wants her partner there with her, and god bless Jack for supporting her.

    Anne:  I’ve put a lot of bodies in the ground for you, haven’t I?
    Jack:  Excuse me?
    Anne:  Watched your back.  Cleaned up your messes.  Carried out your plans.  I didn’t always understand, didn’t always agree, but I did it.  Some fucked-up, awful shit ’cause I knew you needed it done.  I don’t think the night you had last night comes even close to something to bitch about.
    Jack:  I know you know this is significantly more complicated than the quantity of tits I have access to at any given moment.
    Anne:  I know she’s dangerous, especially to me.  I ain’t in my right head about her.  She knows it.  And it ain’t hard to imagine her intent is to play us off one against the other.  But I’m asking you to do this for me. I’m asking you to watch my back on the other side of that door.  ‘Cause I know as long as you are, there ain’t shit she can do to get between us.

    • Is this the first time we see Eleanor on a ship?  I love Flint’s ingrained manners when he stands as she enters, and even more I love that he insists on talking alone with her.  I am in love with watching a young woman and an older man going head to head with equal respect and frustration.
    • This scene between Flint and Silver is FORMATIVE.  It’s the first time Flint is the tiniest bit vulnerable with Silver, and it’s therefore the first time Silver sees beneath Flint’s aggressively brilliant exterior.

    Silver:  It’s possible this has nothing to do with the fort, nor with Vane.  Perhaps it’s just them expressing their opinion about you.
    Flint:  So you think that they see me as the villain in this particular story?
    Silver:  I think that would explain their decision, yes.
    Flint:  And you?  What do you think?  You see me as the villain here?
    Silver:  I see you as the agent most likely of securing my share of the gold on that beach.  As long as that remains true, I am not bothered in the least by whatever labels anyone decides to affix to you.  Why?  What do you think about it?
    Flint:  I’m sorry?
    Silver:  It bothers you, doesn’t it?  What they think.  With the things you’ve done–My God, it must be awful being you.

    • This scene is even more heartbreaking after Flint’s explosive defense of Thomas:  “People can say what they want about you, but you’re a good man.  More people should say that, and someone should be willing to defend it.”  Silver has been Flint’s defender, so it makes sense that Flint wants Silver to also see the good motives beneath his actions.  But that is not what drives Silver to support Flint – it’s his honest using of Flint to get the Urca gold.  It is so painful to watch Flint realize Silver is not that person for him.
    • It’s hard for me to completely understand just how dangerous Thomas’s idea was for its time and place.  I need to learn more about British empire culture/politics.
    • Billy is back in our story, and looking real rough!  It’s all kinds of heartbreaking that his first words are “Get Gates.”
    • Miranda blowing up at Eleanor is very illuminating.  Miranda has definitely lost her passion for Nassau, because all she sees is the place that cost her everything, and keeps costing her (in encouraging Flint’s violence and leading him further from the man she knew).  Which is why it’s so great to see her mind formulating plans when she learns from Pastor Lambrick that Abigail Ashe is in town.  Perhaps there’s a way for her to put an end to all of this AND honor Thomas and Flint’s plans.
    • Max is so fascinating.  She’s definitely out of sorts now that Anne has brought Jack into their bed.  I still don’t think Max loves Anne, and this is more fear of losing her power and influence.  She tries to intimidate Jack (who is entirely confident in his relationship with Anne – awww), and when that doesn’t work, she bribes him with Featherstone and a crew.  She’s a very smart woman, and I respect her, but I don’t really LIKE her for it just yet.
    • And then that pivotal flashback scene!!  It is perfection.  Thomas’s father is immediately dislikable, Thomas is glowing with passion and certainty, Miranda and James are trying to stay out of it UNTIL.

    James:  I support it.  I found his argument persuasive.  I find his intent to be good and true, and I find yours wanting, sir.  I will be relaying my findings to Admiral Hennessey in short order.  And now I think it’s time you left, sir.
    Thomas:  Did you just ask my father to leave his own house?  Right now he will be dispatching messages to the Sea Lords, the Southern Secretary, his friends in the Privy Council.  He will stop at nothing to ensure that this plan never sees the light of day, and now you’re in the line of fire.
    James:  People can say what they like about you, but you’re a good man.  More people should say that.  And someone should be willing to defend it.

    • Mr. Scott tries to convince Flint not to attack the fort.  Flint gives Mr. Scott the due he deserves by acknowledging the Mr. Scott’s invaluable role behind the Guthries.  Mr. Scott gives excellent advice, but to no avail.
    • Once again, Flint makes a decision that I disapprove of, but he’s so conflicted about it that all of my emotions are only for him.
    Worst dinner party ever.

    Not done reliving the episode?  Listen to Daphne and Liz’s podcast at Fathoms Deep!

  • Pizza Girl by Jean Kyoung Frazier

    Pizza Girl by Jean Kyoung Frazier

    In the tradition of audacious and wryly funny novels like The Idiot and Convenience Store Woman comes the wildly original coming-of-age story of a pregnant pizza delivery girl who becomes obsessed with one of her customers.

    Eighteen years old, pregnant, and working as a pizza delivery girl in suburban Los Angeles, our charmingly dysfunctional heroine is deeply lost and in complete denial about it all. She’s grieving the death of her father (who she has more in common with than she’d like to admit), avoiding her supportive mom and loving boyfriend, and flagrantly ignoring her future.

    Her world is further upended when she becomes obsessed with Jenny, a stay-at-home mother new to the neighborhood, who comes to depend on weekly deliveries of pickled covered pizzas for her son’s happiness. As one woman looks toward motherhood and the other towards middle age, the relationship between the two begins to blur in strange, complicated, and ultimately heartbreaking ways.

    Bold, tender, propulsive, and unexpected in countless ways, Jean Kyoung Frazier’s Pizza Girl is a moving and funny portrait of a flawed, unforgettable young woman as she tries to find her place in the world.

    Goodreads

    Pizza Girl is a very well written book with a story I didn’t care for. I can appreciate the skill with which Frazier conveys the listlessness, anxiety, and obsession of a closeted pregnant teen girl. But I spent most of the book clutching my pearls and screaming, “STOP MAKING BAD CHOICES!” It reminded me a lot of a lesbian Juno.

    This is a book that handles generational trauma and the fear of becoming the parent who neglected you (as you actively neglect your fetus by drinking excessively while pregnant oh my god!!) through a protagonist who survives life by escaping it. During this novel, her escape takes the form of a middle aged mother who orders pickle pizza every Wednesday. Jane’s obsession with Jenny is deep, earthy, and kind of sweet in a weird way. She fantasizes about them breathing into each other’s mouth, hot and meaty. Very visceral, weirdly sexual….fun! But her obsession grows to the point of danger, both to herself and others, and with no real consequences. I did not know what this book was trying to tell me, other than the fact that life is complicated and difficult.

    The characters are realistic, sad, and well constructed. Jane makes all the wrong decisions and doesn’t appreciate any of the good things around her. What can I say? This is a book that captures the emotions of a teenager perfectly, and I am now mom-aged and cannot handle them.

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    It would be easy to read Jane as a closeted lesbian, pregnant with her perfect boyfriend’s baby but fantasizing about women. I liked that Frazier kept things a little more nuanced, as she does seem to truly love her boyfriend and enjoy romance and sex with him on occasion. There is also a simplistic interpretation of this story that Jane’s repression of her sexuality is leading to her repressing all other parts of her life – her grief for the death of her alcoholic father, her fear about being a parent, her confusion about what to do with her life. I think it is more accurate to say that her fear about addressing any one of those issues makes her more likely to ignore everything else; it’s a two-way street.

    When Jane asks her gay coworker how he knew he was into boys, he says that while he liked girls and boys, only boys had the power to ruin his life. I love this definition!

    There were some really lovely moments in this book, and I tore through it in horrified curiosity, but it wasn’t my jam. However, I am absolutely positive that it will be exactly what someone else wants.

    Rating: 3 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    ‘ discord!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here!

  • A Nostalgic Look Back to King’s Quest Computer Games

    A Nostalgic Look Back to King’s Quest Computer Games

    Some of the first video games I ever played were the King’s Quest series. My older brother and I spent hours figuring out the puzzles and restarting the game after a comically narrated death. I still have an intense fondness for point-and-click games (see my review of the phenomenal Disco Elysium) that is based in the King’s Quest series. From the fanfare that plays over the Sierra title page to specific scenes, these games are seared into my memory in the best possible way. If you played any King’s Quest games as a kid (or as an adult!), I hope you’ll enjoy the following memories and comment with some of your own.

    King’s Quest V – Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder!

    Released in 1990 (though I didn’t play it until around 1995), King Graham was my first KQ protagonist, and his quest to rescue his captured family is still so much fun to play through. For those who need a refresher on the plot, the evil wizard Mordack has magically spirited away Castle Daventry along with King Graham’s wife, son, and daughter. With the help of talking owl Cedric, Graham travels throughout towns, deserts, dark forests to gather clues and ultimately defeat Mordack and save his family.

    Memorable moments:

    • The ants singing, “We’re the ants of King Anthony, we’re going to help King Graham” STILL pops into my head on a regular basis, 25 years after first playing the game.
    • That desert!! One of the most excruciating (and delightful) aspects of these games is how easy it is to get stuck or to die. You really have to save every two seconds, and nowhere was this more true for me than when wandering the desert to find a temple before I died of thirst. I remember drawing out maps with my brother to determine where we had gone and which route was safe. I kind of miss those days, as now my knee-jerk reaction to difficult puzzles in video games is to Google a solution.
    • The final battle with Mordack, when you have to transform into the correct animal to counterattack his form, is so stressful! Even when I replayed this as an adult and used a walkthrough, my heart was racing from the emotional memory of playing this over and over again, young and fully believing in the high stakes.

    King’s Quest VI – Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow

    Released in 1992, this is my favorite King’s Quest game by far. Set in the Land of the Green Isles, Prince Alexander seeks the beautiful Princess Cassima. He is shipwrecked along the way and must use a magic map to travel from the Isle of the Crown to the Isle of Wonder, Isle of the Sacred Mountain, the Isle of the Beast, and the actual Underworld to make his way to his lady love and defeat the Vizier who wants to marry her by force.

    Memorable moments:

    • “Alexander opens his magic map.” I can still hear the intonation! Also, the narrator for KQ6 was SO TALENTED.
    • When he reaches the Isle of Wonder, Alexander must get past five creatures, one for each sense (hearing, smelling, etc). Their forms are so whimsical and ridiculous, and I both loved and feared them.
    • When Alexander finds all the ingredients to summon a winged horse to take him to the Land of the Dead, the game says the brew smells terrible. In an amazing coincidence, my dad was soldering toy trains in the room nearby when we first played through this scene. My brother and I were AMAZED that the game was able to create smells, and it was quite the letdown when we realized the actual cause of the burning plastic stench.
    • It was such a great moment when the impassible sheer cliffs on the Isle of the Sacred Mountain pop out little stairs and you can finally climb to the top.
    • Much like KQ5’s final showdown with Mordack, traversing the minotaur’s lair still terrifies me. The ominous clopping down hallways as you try not to get lost elicit childhood terror despite the fact that it is objectively pretty tame by all video game standards of today.

    King’s Quest VII – The Princeless Bride

    Released in 1994, KQ7 changed up the look and play style significantly. Embracing a cartoon aesthetic, the game alternated chapters between Queen Valanice and Princess Rosella. When Rosella leaps through a portal, her mom jumps in after her. They land in different parts of the land of Eldritch, and Rosella has been transformed into a troll. They journey through deserts, troll caves, Ooga Booga, and floating islands as they attempt to find each other and stop the evil Malicia from destroying the world with a volcano.

    Memorable moments:

    • In what has quickly revealed itself to be a trend, it is the scary things that stuck in my memory. The boogey man that leaps above the upper limits of the screen and then crashes onto you and kills you freaked me OUT, both as a child and as an adult.
    • Archduke Fifi le YipYap’s slobbering nasal voice as he totters around little town.
    • The stag sitting by cursed tree. These games really like cursed trees, huh?
    • I remember loving the floating islands that you traverse by rainbow slides, but when I replayed this game as an adult I found this section of the game interminably long.

    Bonus Memories

    I went to Emerald City Comic Con for the first time in 2019. It felt right that I ended up going with my brother, since he was my first nerdy influence. Neither of us are talented enough to cosplay, but we wanted to make t-shirts that symbolized our familial relationship. Turns out there aren’t a lot of brother/sister characters without weird sexual tension! After some discussion, we had the brilliant idea to honour the games that first united us. He wore a Prince Alexander shirt, and I wore Princess Rosella. It was a pretty niche concept, but three people complimented us and one even wanted a picture with us! It was such a fun experience, and I’m glad that the King’s Quest games were a part of it.

  • Final Fantasy 8 – From Prison to a Floating Garden

    Final Fantasy 8 – From Prison to a Floating Garden

    Read the first section of my FF8 replay: From Balamb to Timber and the second section: From Galbadia to the Assassination.

    Winhill

    After the emotional intensity of the assassination – the creepy music, the endless obstacles, the successful and attempted murders – we get dropped into the cutest, most idyllic dream world scene yet. Laguna is recovering from the disaster at Esthar in the adorable village of Windhill at the home of tiny child Ellone and her mother Raine.

    • A Galbadian soldier guarding the village mentions that Esthar is a country ruled by a sorceress. They kidnap little girls, looking for a successor to Sorceress Adel. Does this mean that sorcery is genetic? But not so much that the sorceress can give birth to a magical girl?
    • Laguna’s Desperado limit break with a machine gun is hilariously over the top.
    • Kiros shows up, having apparently been separated since being thrown off a cliff. This begs a very important question: Are there no communication devices in this world? There is technology to create a mobile building but not to call long distance?
    • Julia, the singer that Laguna had a crush on, wound up marrying General Caraway. That means she is Rinoa’s mother!!
    • Laguna has the cutest relationships. Little Ellone wants her mom to marry Laguna; she’s into it, but afraid of brining it up because she doesn’t think he would be satisfied living in a quiet town like Winhill. This is such a realistic concern, and it shows FF8’s mastery of romance once again (as previously discussed re: their care creating a love triangle between Squall, Rinoa, and Seifer).

    Galbadia D-District Prison

    Zell was also dreaming, but conveniently, he was Ward working as a janitor in a prison…this prison! The gang has been arrested for their attempted assassination, and Zell, Selphie, and Quistis share a cell. They escape their cell, recover their weapons, and begin an incredibly tedious section of the game where we run up and down and all around the floors of the very boring prison, pausing to switch GFs incessantly.

    • Squall is being held separately, and Seifer is very excited to taunt and torture him. Sorceress Edea wants to know what SeeD is, as though there’s a secret behind their mercenary exterior, but neither Squall nor I know what they’re talking about.
    • Seifer is excited to know that Squall saw him in his moment of glory, asking, “How did I look?” He loves being Squall’s nemesis, and let me be honest. The fanfic writes itself for this scene.

    “This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me!”

    • The fire dogs are awesome, and if you didn’t hate Galbadia already, the fact that they’ve apparently enslaved this cute lil guys is more than enough to make them our enemy. Maybe Selphie too, since she freakishly suggests skinning the fire dog and wearing it as a disguise.
    • When the group rescues Squall, the fire dog squeaks, “Laguna” at him. Interesting.
    • This whole section is just terrible. I am so relieved when the group escapes and leaves the corkscrew prison behind.

    Galbadia Missile Base

    After watching missiles be launched at Trabia Garden (sorry, Selphie), I sent the chaos team (Selphie, Zell, Irvine) to the Missile Base to prevent the same thing from happening to Balamb Garden. I’m not very invested in these characters, so I did feel a little bad when they assure each other, “Squall chose us because he believes in us!” …Sure.

    They manage to mess with the launch, but can’t get out of the compound before the whole place explodes. RIP Selphie, Zell, and Irvine.

    Balamb Garden

    Squall, Rinoa, and Quistis basically teleport back to Balamb Garden, where they find the place up in arms as Garden Master NORG demands that the students find Cid.

    • Squall gives very vulnerable reasons for wanting to help save Garden…in his head. His walls are breaking down internally at least!
    • The group makes their way through a basement maze at Cid’s request, where they find secret tech that enables the Garden to…levitate. Sure.
    • Everyone, including the headmaster, wants Squall to be responsible for flying the school. The whole storyline of Squall having leadership thrust upon him is a bit weird. He is competent, but utterly standoffish and rude. But he’s the hero of this game, so everything works in his favor. I shouldn’t complain, because it brings out his vulnerabilities, and I love it!
    • Squall hates having nothing to do because he worries! Why, I also rely on being productive to avoid having to live in my own head. #relatable
    • Rinoa asks for a tour, and I appreciate that the game remembers that she has never been here. It quickly devolves into another little quest, since Garden Master NORG is still pissed. He is a being unlike anything we have seen to this point, and he yells “Fushifuru” a lot. It’s…weird.
    • NORG wants to give the sorceress Squall’s head to get her off Garden’s back. He doesn’t trust Cid because he’s married to Edea, which is fair! But Squall and co. kill him anyway.
    • Cid fills in a few more gaps, explaining that Balamb Garden was created to kill sorceresses. Edea knew she might become one, but didn’t think it would actually happen. This implies that becoming a sorceress necessarily makes you evil. But why?
    • A ship approaches the floating Garden bearing Sorceress Edea’s ninja SeeDs. This makes no sense, nor does the fact that Cid capitulates to their desire to take Ellone.
    • Yes, Ellone! The little girl from Winhill is grown up (and is the woman Squall and Quistis saved in the training center after the SeeD ball). Squall finds her in the library, and she admits that she knows Squall is being sent into the past to live Laguna’s memories. She leaves, and Squall lays on his bed in the fetal position, overwhelmed with responsibility and fear.

    “I’m not a child anymore. I have all the skills I need to survive. That’s a lie. I don’t know anything. I’m confused. I don’t want to depend on anyone. How can I do that?”

    • We get our first flashback of baby Squall missing his Sis, and it’s very sad and cute!

    That’s where we’ll end this section of my Final Fantasy 8 playthrough. Squall’s character is developing rapidly, and I love that his aloof lone wolf attitude is explicitly taken apart, revealing an inner child who is afraid of being alone with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

  • Andrea’s Adventurers Charity RPG Livestream

    Andrea’s Adventurers Charity RPG Livestream

    Roll a nat20 to beat cancer!

    After my interview with Andrea Driedger about the 2021 Terminal City Tabletop Convention, she kindly invited Rachel and me to participate in her three-day event, Andrea’s Adventurers Charity RPG Livestream, to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society. It’s going to be a full weekend of D&D for a good cause!

    Rachel and I will be involved every day of the June 4-6 event, so you have multiple opportunities to watch us be ridiculous while telling imaginary stories with strangers, aka friends in the making.

    Rachel GMs Friday, June 4 from 9:00pm – 1:00am PST

    Charity RPG Livestream

    “The guild has been asked to send a team of adventurers to the farming town of Riversbend. After an earthquake, a sinkhole has formed on the old Barleybush farm. It’s probably nothing to worry about, but the more superstitious folks are worried something nasty is going to crawl out of it. The townsfolk of Riverbend would like the adventurers to put their minds at rest.”

    Watch on Terminal City Tabletop Convention’s Twitch stream!

    Tricia GMs Saturday, June 5 from 1:00pm – 5:00pm PST

    Charity RPG Livestream

    “With the local population of owlbears declining, famed owlbearologist Willem McPhearson wants to hire a team of adventurers to help him track down and study the creatures. Can people and owlbears coexist? This D&D5e adventure is for anyone who saw a D&D monster and wanted it to be their pet.”

    Watch on Terminal City Tabletop Convention’s Twitch stream!

    Rachel and Tricia play Sunday, June 6 from 9:00am – 1:00pm PST

    “In a hunt to defeat an evil wizard the party has been shrunk down. Now they must find a way to regain their size before the evil wizard can finish their plans.”

    Watch on Terminal City Tabletop Convention’s Twitch stream!

    If you would like to combine donating to a good cause with helping a girl out, consider donating at least $50 and gifting Rachel or Tricia a natural 20!

    Donation Tiers

    • $10: d6 die of inspiration to random player
    • $20: Natural 20 to player of your choice
    • $50: Natural 1 or 20 to a GM of your choice
    • $75: Greater healing potion and a d6 of inspiration to player of your choice
    • $100: Natural 1/20 to GM AND player of your choice, PLUS Adventure Dice will donate a set of dice to Camp Goodtimes, a camp for kids and families who have been affected by cancer
    • $200: All of the above.
    • $500: You and 3 friends can play D&D5e with Andrea and Blair from Adventure Dice (at date to be determined).

    Note: To specify the player or GM of your choice, please put a note in your donation display name.

    Donate Now

    View the full schedule and participants at andreasadventurers.ca.
    Watch on Terminal City Tabletop Convention’s Twitch stream!

  • Black Sails Season 2 Episode 3 Review – XI

    Black Sails Season 2 Episode 3 Review – XI

    Flint faces a dilemma upon his return to Nassau.  Eleanor needs help from an unlikely source.  Rackham seeks to repair his reputation.  Vane uncovers an unexpected prize.

    (Summary provided by starz.com)

    REWATCH REACTION

    I’m starting to slow down in my rewatches, because even though the show gets better and better, there are so many betrayals and heartbreaks to watch again, and my heart hurts in anticipation!  I’m actually missing the days of season 1 when we were too busy being introduced to characters to kill them off (mostly).

    BEST FLINT MOMENT

    Just, every look he gives Miranda while flirting and realizes she sees beneath his proper exterior is. so. hot.

    TODAY’S RUNNER UP

    Eleanor!  This is such a good episode between her and her father figures.  The scene when Flint arrives, and she rushes to him with a genuine smile on her face in order to publicly embrace him?  MY HEART.  Even when she realizes he doesn’t have the gold, she says, “I’m so very glad you’re alive.”  Later, she sneaks a message to Mr. Scott so that they can talk, and for a few lines they are genuinely happy to see each other and catch up.

    As lovely as it is to see Eleanor happy, she earned her spot here for how she stands up to Flint.  Lesser men and women would cower beneath his fury, but she defends her actions in giving up the fort to Vane.  When Flint realizes she’s strong enough to oppose his strength, he switches tactics and goes for vulnerability.  Kudos to him for being honest about killing Gates (“What did you do?” “What was necessary.”), but it doesn’t work.  He wants her to make the same decision, to kill someone she loves for the sake of their mission.

    But the person he wants her to kill is doing a lot toward showing his own love for her…but more on Eleanor and Vane in the Fragmented Thoughts section.

    LOL MOMENT

    This episode starts with a joke, when Thomas shows James a pamphlet about piracy and says the problem in Nassau is “a problem most insidious.”  James looks for a moment, then suggests, “Illiteracy?”  I love these boys and their shared subtle humor!

    WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

    Miranda:  In my experience, there is an inverse relationship between the degree of one’s happiness and the concern one suffers for what the neighbors think.

    Miranda:  I think you’re someone who’s very good at managing how you’re perceived, and perhaps getting what you want without anyone knowing how you did it, or perhaps if it ever happened at all.  Perhaps–
    James:  Don’t tell me propriety has worked its evils on you too, now.
    Miranda:  I was going to say that perhaps you’re more concerned with whether or not people talk about what you and I may be doing behind closed doors more than with what we actually are doing.

    Thomas and Miranda offer James a world in which one can take the things that make one happy without worrying if it is the “proper” thing to do.  At that time (and this time, honestly) an open marriage was something to be feared, scorned, or punished.  Yet Miranda knows James well enough to see that he isn’t as interested in social conventions as his naval uprightness implies.  She sees some of the “darkness” and “wildness” that was shown to us in the last episode.  But where those qualities were condemned by Hennessey, Miranda encourages them.  She invites him to leave propriety behind and take what will make him happy.  The fact that we see them so unhappy together in the present day makes us ask all sorts of questions that I cannot wait to see answered.

    FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

    • I’m still in love with Thomas’s confidence that the problem in Nassau is not the pirates but the corrupt governors.  His idealism is so sexy!
    • James’s realism is also sexy, but that’s because James is still looking so good in these flashbacks.

    James:  Put a man on an island, give him power over other men, and it won’t be long before he realizes the limits of that power are nowhere to be seen.

    • Silver is officially popular!  The scene where Dooley insists that they return to Nassau despite the incredible danger of sailing into harbor in a Spanish ship seems to imply that the democratic pirate government is flawed.  A popular vote, after all, allows dumb men to make potentially devastating decisions.  If their captain were anyone but Flint, I think I’d be suspicious of this.  As it is, I’m all for Flint as Pirate King…it’s a little unnerving how much I’ve drunk from his Koolaid.
    • Vane’s men need better wigs.
    • I loved seeing Miranda and Eleanor together!  It must be weird for Eleanor to see evidence of Flint’s domesticity and to hear him called “James.”  She’s SUPER suspicious of the power Miranda seems to hold over Flint, and while that’s warranted, I’m still annoyed at how rude she was to imply Miranda is unremarkable.

    Miranda:  Every man has his torments, demons born of past wrongs that hound and harass him.  You perceive the effects of Captain Flint’s demons, echoes of their voices.  But I know their names.  I was there when they were born.  I know the things they whisper to him at night.  So you can believe me when I tell you that within his chorus of torments none of them look or sound like me.

    • The scene between Max and Vane is beautiful.  Her suppressed fear of him is so sad considering the last night she saw him, he was letting his men abuse and assault her.  Max seems to be implying that it is weak of Vane to want to protect Eleanor from Ned Lowe, but like, Ned is a brutal psychopath?  I don’t think you have to still be hopelessly in love with someone to not want to see them raped and tortured (though…he totally is).  “I found a way to stop caring about her.  Would you like to know how?”  “No.”
    • ❤ Eme and the other former slaves are working and finding places in Nassau!
    • UM, I too would invite myself into James’s apartment if he answered the door shirtless and with messy hair.  This is a painful scene in some ways, though, as the power dynamic between James and the Hamiltons is driven home.  He is so obviously pained at her attempts to compliment his small and undecorated room.  Later, we see class rearing its head again when he says the Hamiltons are wealthy and secure enough to scorn propriety – James doesn’t have that luxury.
    • They are SUPER good at flirting.  Wow, their faces!
    • Fandom seems very married to the idea that Vane is Loyalty Personified, but I don’t really see it.  In this episode, he restores Jack and Anne to influence, abandoning loyalty to the crew they murdered, and NOT because of loyalty to them, but because he got what he wanted from Max.  Which!  I love!  Because I like my Black Sails characters morally complex.  But why is fandom so determined to see a Vane that I cannot?
    • As Flint remembers his past with Miranda, it inspires him to make a gesture of reconciliation by bringing La Galatea to her.  But when he arrives at her house and sees her giving piano lessons, it’s clear that there is no place for him there.  He leaves the book instead, and my heart breaks because he cannot have everything that he wants.
    • Ned Lowe is DEAD, and I rejoice!  Vane is such a badass, and I was very impressed by his subtle dig implying that Ned not only will submit to Vane (“you know your place”), but that he’s one of the only captains that will do so.  This scene plays out so beautifully, leading us to assume that Ned has the upper hand, but Vane was playing him all along!  I’m so impressed that this show had the balls to kill off such a charismatic, terrifying character after just three episodes.  It shows that they know how strong their central characters truly are.
    • After seeing Ned’s head on a stick, Eleanor goes to Vane to reward him with sex.  Half of me is annoyed by this trope, but the other half of me is genuinely touched.  This is the most intimate they’ve been during and after sex, and the fact that Vane watches her sleep does things to my heart. I am NOT a believer in their relationship as something healthy, but there’s just enough good there to convince us why they would keep returning to each other.
    • Speaking of surprisingly lovely sex scenes, Anne’s mostly unspoken invitation for Jack to join her and Max is really sweet.  Despite Max wanting to get between Anne and Jack (“did he see you come up?”), Anne refuses to play these power games and asks for everything she wants.  And in asking for everything, she gives up everything, disrobing for the first time.  It’s a vulnerable moment for anyone, but especially for Anne, who lets Max (and us) see her back full of scars for the first time.
    • Flint’s final speech resonates VERY hard after knowing some things that are going to happen to him in the near future:  “I know how you must feel, how desperate you must be to go home and be embraced by Nassau again.  But I’m here to tell you, that place no longer exists.  It has been taken from us by a madman, held hostage by threat of force that no one on the island seems able to resist…Nassau was unable to resist him, but we have yet to have our say.”

    Not done reliving the episode?  Listen to Daphne and Liz’s podcast at Fathoms Deep!

  • Flamer by Mike Curato

    Flamer by Mike Curato

    Genre | YA Graphic Novel
    Page #s | 368
    Publishing Date | September 2020

    Award-winning author and artist Mike Curato draws on his own experiences in Flamer, his debut graphic novel, telling a difficult story with humor, compassion, and love.

    I know I’m not gay. Gay boys like other boys. I hate boys. They’re mean, and scary, and they’re always destroying something or saying something dumb or both.

    I hate that word. Gay. It makes me feel . . . unsafe.

    It’s the summer between middle school and high school, and Aiden Navarro is away at camp. Everyone’s going through changes—but for Aiden, the stakes feel higher. As he navigates friendships, deals with bullies, and spends time with Elias (a boy he can’t stop thinking about), he finds himself on a path of self-discovery and acceptance.

    Goodreads

    Using spare colors with an inviting cartoon aesthetic, Curato has created a beautiful graphic novel about a young boy on the cusp of adolescence who struggles to accept his attraction to boys during a Boy Scouts summer camp. Occasionally haunting but ultimately uplifting, I adored this book and want everyone to read it.

    This is Aiden’s last summer before high school, and he wants his camp experience to be a fun, safe space for him to be fully himself. Unfortunately, he is at camp with a bunch of boys, and they throw insults and gay slurs at each other with abandon. Curato captures these microaggressions with nuance, showing how they hit differently for someone who worries he actually IS gay while also showing how good it can feel to turn the tables and call a bully a f*****.

    Although this is a quick read, the length of the novel allows us to get a full sense of Aiden’s life. The main action takes place during summer camp, but we get flashbacks to his family, his school, and his church that better inform what he is experiencing in the present day as he participates in orienteering, archery, and basket weaving.

    Aiden is such a cute boy who can’t, and doesn’t want to, hide his feminine side despite being very in the closet when it comes to accepting his attraction to bunkmate Elias. Every night he dreams of the two of them together. These were my favorite sections of the book, as he imagines the pair of them as Frodo and Sam or Wolverine and Jean Grey, in an adorable fantasy that increasingly turns dark as he tries to push the feelings aside.

    The story culminates in a dark moment that might be triggering for some readers, though the scene is handled with care. The fires that Aiden worries will engulf himself ultimately manifest as his own life energy, a fire full of strength and vitality that cannot be put out. It’s a lovely book, drawn with skill and passion, that should be on the shelf of every school library.

    Who Would I Recommend This Book To?

    It’s great for readers of all ages, but this is a book to prioritize giving to young queer kids who will see themselves in Aiden.

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here.

  • 7 Books for International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia

    7 Books for International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia

    May 17th is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia. Created in 2004, this holiday draws attention to the violence and discrimination experienced by those with marginalized sexual and gender identities. I didn’t want to create a list of books that depict the most harrowing and disturbing things that LGBTQIA+ people endure, mostly because I don’t like to read that kind of story. Instead, I believe that representation of queer positive stories and characters can help create a world with less homophobia, transphobia, and biphobia.

    With that goal in mind, here are seven trans, bisexual, and gay books that inspire readers to accept their own identities and to embrace the identities of others.

    Edit: Updated in 2022

    The Deep & Dark Blue by Niki Smith

    This middle grade graphic novel is about thwarting a plot to overthrow a fantasy kingdom’s ruling family, but one of the escaped princes realizes that she prefers her hidden identity as a girl. She wrestles with what this means for herself and her family, ultimately having her female identity validated by her twin brother and by a magical tapestry! I highly recommend this book for readers young and old.

    FINNA by Nino Cipri

    The protagonist of this novella has just broken up with a nonbinary person right before they get sent on an inter-dimensional adventure through IKEA analogues of varying degrees of evil. Jules (the ex) mentions the casual transphobia that they deal with on a regular basis and how being chased by hive mind zombies is preferable. I mean, that’s a mood.

    Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

    Set in a utopian world that has eradicated the various -isms that haunt our society, little Pet screamed “Girl! Girl! Girl!” as a child when her parents called her a boy, and they immediately adjusted. She was given medical access to hormones without question, and it is a joy to read about a world without transphobia. The plot hinges on the fact that utopias must be vigilantly maintained, however, and I think this message is one to keep in mind as we begin to create safe spaces for those who are currently marginalized.

    Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

    This one is for all my bisexual friends who are dating men! You are valid, and your sexuality is valid. Dani Brown is a bisexual delight who loves women and men passionately (though she hates commitment). This romance novel centers on her friends to lovers tropetastic relationship with Zafir, a hunky security man who has a side gig teaching teen boys how to process their emotions in healthy ways. If I remember correctly, there is no biphobia in this book, so I recommend it as a sign of the world we aim to create!

    We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

    Homophobia, transphobia, and biphobia exist everywhere, but there is a special kind of pain that comes from growing up in a culture that doesn’t even acknowledge your existence. Habib’s memoir describes her journey coming out as a queer woman after her Muslim family moves from Pakistan to Canada. Although she leaves her faith for awhile, ultimately she finds a community of queer Muslims and uses her photography talents to show the world the faces of others just like her.

    A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers

    Sometimes the best antidote to transphobia is a novella set in a future where trans folks are a normal and accepted part of society. Dex is a non-binary tea monk, which means they bike their tiny house from city to city, making tea for people and listening to their problems. When they find they want something more, they venture into the wilds, where they meet Mosscap, a robot who wants to understand humans. This is a cozy, sweet read where in the future, humans made all the right choices. May life imitate art!

    The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J Klune

    Queer families are a beautiful support system in the face of discrimination, and this adorable novel takes the concept quite literally. Linus is sent to inspect an orphanage designed for dangerous children, by which I mean a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, an unidentifiable green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist. Their ostracization reads as queer, but it doesn’t stop there: Linus finds love with the man who runs the orphanage before his job assignment is complete, throwing everything he thought about his life into sweet disarray.

    What books would you add to my list? Leave a comment and let me know!

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

  • Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo

    Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo

    Genre | YA Fantasy
    Page #s | 588
    Publishing Date | March 2021

    The Grishaverse will be coming to Netflix soon with Shadow and Bone, an original series!

    The wolves are circling and a young king will face his greatest challenge in the explosive finale of the instant #1 New York Times-bestselling King of Scars Duology.

    The Demon King. As Fjerda’s massive army prepares to invade, Nikolai Lantsov will summon every bit of his ingenuity and charm—and even the monster within—to win this fight. But a dark threat looms that cannot be defeated by a young king’s gift for the impossible. 

    The Stormwitch. Zoya Nazyalensky has lost too much to war. She saw her mentor die and her worst enemy resurrected, and she refuses to bury another friend. Now duty demands she embrace her powers to become the weapon her country needs. No matter the cost.

    The Queen of Mourning. Deep undercover, Nina Zenik risks discovery and death as she wages war on Fjerda from inside its capital. But her desire for revenge may cost her country its chance at freedom and Nina the chance to heal her grieving heart.

    King. General. Spy. Together they must find a way to forge a future in the darkness. Or watch a nation fall.

    Goodreads

    Exciting from start to finish, Rule of Wolves takes our monstrous heroes into the depths of subterfuge and war where they will make hard decisions and costly mistakes…in addition to some rip-roaring plot twists due to behind the scenes machinations.

    Ravka, as always, is the tiny country desperately trying to fend off their more powerful neighbors. Fjerda to the north is openly moving toward war, while Shu Han to the south and Kerch from the sea are more circumspect but no less dangerous. Told from King Nikolai, General Zoya, and Spy Nina’s perspectives (as well as a couple others that are delicious but aren’t to be spoiled), we get to see the little country that could defend itself and fight for Grisha lives against all odds.

    I read this during the same period of time as I watched the new Netflix show, Shadow and Bone, based on Bardugo’s first Grishaverse novel. Seeing where some of these characters, especially Zoya, began made me appreciate where they ended up all the more. These books truly create an entire world, full of diverse countries, cities, religions, and people who grow and change based on what has happened in previous books.

    This definitely feels like the end of the series, with surprise guest appearances by fan favorites from other books. But the very end teases a potential continuation…whether it’s because Bardugo isn’t quite ready to give up the Grishaverse or just to show us that adventures will continue in this world whether or not we’re privy to them, I don’t know. I desperately hope that we will get more from this world, but I honestly don’t know how the stakes could be greater than they are here.

    I’m not giving many details, but I don’t think they’re necessary. If you’ve gotten to this point in the series, nothing I say will convince you one way or the other. But I will say this: I love cranky female characters who are hardened and protective and powerful. Bardugo deserves a medal for making me fall absolutely in love with Zoya Nazyalensky.

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    There is not one, not two, but THREE queer relationships in this book! There is a lesbian couple in the Grisha who don’t get a lot of page time, and gay couple who will delight readers at their appearance. But it’s Nina and Hanne who have the most meaningful and plot-centric queer love story. Nina is comfortable in her bisexuality, never questioning her attraction to former love Matthias or current housemate Hanne. I don’t want to say too much about Hanne, but her relationship to gender is also explored delicately and perfectly for this fantasy setting.

    Who Would I Recommend This Book To?

    Uh, the masses. The Grishaverse is incredibly popular, and rightly so. Literally anyone would enjoy this.

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Come chat books with us on Roar Cat Reads’ discord.

  • Trans-Galactic Bike Ride edited by Lydia Rogue

    Trans-Galactic Bike Ride edited by Lydia Rogue

    Genre | Anthology of Science Fiction Short Stories
    Page #s | 156
    Publishing Date | December 2020

    What would the future look like if we weren’t so hung up on putting people into boxes and instead empowered each other to reach for the stars? Take a ride with us as we explore a future where trans and nonbinary people are the heroes.

    In worlds where bicycle rides bring luck, a minotaur needs a bicycle, and werewolves stalk the post-apocalyptic landscape, nobody has time to question gender. Whatever your identity you’ll enjoy these stories that are both thought-provoking and fun adventures.

    Featuring brand-new stories from Hugo, Nebula, and Lambda Literary Award-winning author Charlie Jane Anders, Ava Kelly, Juliet Kemp, Rafi Kleiman, Tucker Lieberman, Nathan Alling Long, Ether Nepenthes, and Nebula-nominated M. Darusha Wehm. Also featuring debut stories from Diana Lane and Marcus Woodman.

    Goodreads

    I don’t typically like anthologies of short stories, but apparently I just needed to read short stories about space bikes with trans narratives! Each story was unique, from werewolves and mailmen to launching a bike into space like a rocket, but the anthology was edited perfectly into a cohesive whole with, well, bikes and trans characters!

    This is a book that distinctly feels written for a trans audience. That isn’t to say I felt excluded in any way! It was saturated in trans themes and issues, and it wasn’t going to pander to my ignorance. It was my job to do the work to keep up, and I really enjoyed doing so!

    I was constantly amazed at how most of the books I read AREN’T aimed at trans audiences. The casual mentions of dysphoria during pregnancy, of partners reminding each other to take their meds, or noticing a woman’s legs because the protagonist just increased their testosterone level made me realize how so many essential details of a trans person’s life are erased in most literature. Of course, every book doesn’t need to cover every person’s perspective, but I am now fully on board for a huge increase in books featuring trans and non-binary characters. Emphasis on plural, since one of the most revolutionary things about this anthology is that more characters are trans than not. Down with tokenism!

    It’s hard to choose a favorite story, but two that have stuck with me are Juliet Kemp’s “Riding for Luck,” which captured the magical feeling of timing your ride to hit all green lights in such an evocative way and the final story “Beyond” by Nathan Alling Long. It felt perfect, after ten other short stories made of excellence, for the book to end with a story of trans people biking away from earth and saying, “We’re not coming back, but you can join us if you want to!”

    Who Would I Recommend This Book To?

    Trans-Galactic Bike Ride is a great gift for your favorite sci-fi geek who needs a break from books that double as bricks.

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here.

  • FINNA by Nino Cipri

    FINNA by Nino Cipri

    Genre | Science Fiction Novella
    Page #s | 136
    Publishing Date | February 2020

    When an elderly customer at a big box furniture store slips through a portal to another dimension, it’s up to two minimum-wage employees to track her across the multiverse and protect their company’s bottom line. Multi-dimensional swashbuckling would be hard enough, but our two unfortunate souls broke up a week ago.

    Can friendship blossom from the ashes of a relationship? In infinite dimensions, all things are possible.

    Goodreads

    I tore through Finna, an excellent novella about two exes who have to travel through IKEA-esque multiverses to rescue a lost woman. By turns exciting, horrific, and wondrous, this story left me both satisfied and wanting more.

    Ava starts the book in an anxiety spiral about seeing Jules, her ex, at work LitenVärld, an unsubtle analogue for IKEA. When someone’s grandmother goes missing, the by-the-rules manager drags out a VCR to show the company’s policy on unexpected tears in the universe. Those with least seniority are sent in with a FINNA, a device to track people lost in the wormhole, which means Ava and Jules have to venture in together.

    As the story progresses, we learn why their relationship imploded. Watching them deconstruct what broke them apart while using those same characteristics to survive a strange adventure is incredibly satisfying. The stakes were high, and their increased understanding and appreciation of each other never felt trite. This isn’t about them getting back together. It’s about growing beyond the pain and easy answers.

    The two make these self-discoveries while wandering through various alternate IKEAs – I mean, LitenVärlds. One world has carnivorous furniture, another accepts payment in blood at the store restaurant, and another is a submarine market. I thoroughly enjoyed these creative (and sometimes horrific) iterations of one of my favorite box stores, but the end made the hints toward an expanded multiverse that sounds even better.

    I’m desperate for more, which is why I’ve already put Defekt on hold at the library. Nino Cipri is an excellent writer, and I can’t wait to see what else they have up their sleeve!

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    Ava and Jules are in a queer relationship. Jules identifies as trans/non-binary, the story deftly includes their frustration at being misgendered by customers or the horrible boss’s awkward attempts to use any pronouns out of a refusal to try the singular “they.” It is also strongly implied that Jules’ recklessness is fueled by their wonder at having lived to be twenty-five as a trans immigrant of colour. The queerness of it all is interwoven flawlessly, and can I just say: more non-binary dashing heroes, please!

    Who Would I Recommend This Book To?

    Finna is the perfect gift for someone who loves a quirky hook (wormholes in IKEA) and appreciates a short story with a emotional punch.

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here.

  • Rachel Ranks My 10 COVID Hair Dyes

    Rachel Ranks My 10 COVID Hair Dyes

    When COVID first started, I was unemployed. I wasn’t going anywhere, and I didn’t even need to show my face for a work Zoom meeting. I realized I would never have a better opportunity to see what my hair would look like with colour…specifically pink, which is a hair color I have always wanted to have.

    Pretty much every color was a version of L’Oreal Colorista and done at home. The bleach (three boxes in total!) was also done at home, which was a mistake.

    April 15, 2020 – The First Bleach

    I started the adventure on my own, throwing two boxes of bleach on my hair with an abundance of optimism. What came out was…less than ideal.

    Rachel’s thoughts:

    Apparently I’m dating Avril Lavigne! You look angry. Why do you hate that pirate ship? Does it enhance your emo – yeah, you’re an emo hipster! I quite like this one because I remember you coming and showing it to me and me saying, “Oh dear, we’re going to have to fix this.” It has impact value.

    4/10.

    April 16, 2020 – The Second Bleach

    I immediately went to Rachel’s with much fear and trembling. She convinced me that the only solution was another box of bleach. It did get rid of my roots, but it also made me glow.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    Oh my, I did that. It’s blonder now – it’ll pick up the colour. Look at Tricia’s face – is she excited or angry? I think she’s angry again. I did let you shave the side of my head. I think we’re even.

    1.5/10

    April 18, 2020 – The Barely Pink

    For some reason I waited two whole days to add any colour. Well, the reason was fear. I had ruined my hair for the possibility of pink, and if it didn’t look good it would all be for nothing! Rachel eventually convinced me that literally anything would be better than the bleach, and she was super right.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    I like this one. It’s subtle, and the you’ve got the curly hairs that I like. It just hugs your face. It’s the same color as your face, though. Oh I see, you needed bolder makeup or something. I’ve been watching so much Drag Race, it’s like seeing Rosé before she’s done her face.

    7/10

    May 22, 2020 – Finally, Real Color

    I kept trying the light pink boxes, and even dying over top of each other, they never quite did what I wanted them to do. By this point I was pretty sure I’d spent the last month on a failed experiment.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    Hm. *silence* It’s pink. Roots are coming in, so you’ve had it for a little while. I know it’s going to look better.

    4/10

    May 28, 2020 – Pink Majesty

    When I tried the brighter colours, the whole adventure immediately became much more fun. I also started experimenting with dying the upper and lower layers of my hair different colours, which led to some cool effects.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    Them curls again! And it’s two-tone – different color on top than the bottom, I like that a lot. I want to see you in the sunshine, though, your car isn’t doing the top of your head any favors, my pink-maned lion.

    7/10

    June 30, 2020 – The Lilac

    Right after I switched to purple, my PR application was approved and I could finally apply for jobs. I was super nervous going to interviews with coloured hair, but it was never an issue. Vancouver – a great city!

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    I like this one. Once you started getting roots you went away from the bright colors, which was smart. You chose a good color shirt for this picture. Wait, it’s the same pirate ship! Not angry anymore, are you!?

    8/10

    August 2, 2020 – The Roots, They Are A-Growing

    For the next couple months, I kept up my purples and pinks and fretted about my ever increasing roots. I could never quite work up the courage to bleach them for fear of the chaos of colours that would result.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    This is on Pride Day! You look very 60s-ish. Yeah, those roots, they are a-growing.

    5/10

    September 12, 2020 – Masked and Fabulous

    When I knew I was going to dye my hair brown again to match my roots, I decided to give it one last hooray with two boxes of the brightest pink. It turned out to be one of my favorite looks, and it blended with the roots pretty well.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    Yeaaaahhhh. Deepest maroon! I like your cactuses too. Oh! The shirt is the same color as your mask – you’re a medical delight.

    9/10

    November 14, 2020 – The Ombre

    I kept this up for MONTHS. Bright pink with more and more natural hair coming in. I would have liked if the line between brown and pink was a little less harsh, but overall I enjoyed this lewk.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    Your roots became real hair! I like this a lot now that it’s growing out.

    10/10

    January 18, 2020 – The Underblue

    Everyone always asked if I was going to try a colour other than pink or purple, but I was too nervous to dye my entire head of hair blue or green. Instead, I dyed the top half of my hair my natural colour and dyed the bottom half blue.

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    This is a great face. I don’t see this face enough; what emotion is it that you’re feeling here? You’re kind of pouting, but you’re also glaring at me. Blue is a great choice at this point – light brown with darker underneath. It’s been more subtle since you’ve done the blue.

    9/10

    Today – The Remnants

    One year later, my hair was brittle and frizzy after everything I had put it through. I was also a bit bored, so one weekend I went into the bathroom and chopped it all off. There is still a bit of blue underneath it all, but I’m just about back to normal. For now…

    Rachel’s Thoughts:

    Aww, all gone. Well, not ALL gone. The curly end parts are gone, but they’ll be back. You cut it really nicely, and it looks good. I’m excited for Bleaching Adventure 2.0: The Imbleachening.

    6/10

    Did you have a COVID hair adventure?
    Tell me about it in the comments!

  • Black Sails Season 2 Episode 2 Review – X

    Black Sails Season 2 Episode 2 Review – X

    Flint gives Dufresne some advice.  Silver must make himself indispensable.  Eleanor is asked to depose a captain.  Rackham gets ambitious.

    (Summary provided by starz.com)

    BEST FLINT MOMENT

    This episode IS Flint.  We see him at his most brilliant and most ruthless, and we learn from the flashbacks that he has always held these two traits.  It’s hard to remember that his actions intentionally resulted in the death of a LOT of innocent men when it is so damn satisfying to watch this play out:

    DeGroot:  What are we waiting for?  Why aren’t we moving?  Give the order, Mr. Dufresne.
    Logan:  Why the fuck are we waiting for him?
    DeGroot:  Because he’s in charge here.
    Logan:  No one is in fucking charge here!
    Flint, coming from nowhere:  You have to sink her.

    It is GLORIOUS to watch him step into command, bringing order to the chaos.  The men hesitate only a moment before obeying.  Captain Flint is back!

    TODAY’S RUNNER UP

    Jack!!!  This is one of my all-time favorite moments of his, and honestly, favorite moments of the whole show.  It is our first real glimpse at how complexly Black Sails is going to handle love, sex, and romance, and my first time through I was completely blown away.  In a lesser show, Anne’s confusion, Jack’s insecurity, and Max’s ambition would have led to a power struggle that would destroy them all.  Instead, Jack defuses the situation and basically says, “Alright, if there’s to be a threesome, let’s make this threesome legitimate and profitable to all of us.”

    Not just profit, though.  His love for Anne runs deeper than sex or jealousy, and it’s so so beautiful.

    “Darling, I can understand why you wouldn’t want to tell me about this, but please know that all I have ever wanted for you is to be happy.  Come to bed when you’re through.”

    My heart.  ❤

    LOL MOMENT

    I didn’t laugh at loud in this episode, but I did find Silver’s first failed attempts at ingratiating himself into the crew, and Flint’s subsequent confusion/concern, quite amusing.

    WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

    The theme of the episode (and show, really) is “strange pairs” that can “achieve the most unexpected things.”  Thomas is the one who says this, referring to himself and James.  Thomas sees their vastly different worldviews as an asset, something that will make their combined efforts stronger.

    We cut immediately from this flashback conversation to Flint and Silver.  Silver reveals that his only interest is in the gold, and that he doesn’t like being on the crew or being at sea even.  His motivations are selfish, but his goal of walking away from piracy is exactly Flint’s dream of leaving the sea behind until he finds someone who thinks an oar is a shovel.  Flint sees this, and pushes Silver to be better, to prove his usefulness to the crew.  Throughout the episode we see their differences – Silver explicitly says he doesn’t care if people hate him so long as they need him, whereas Flint desperately cares what others think of him (this will be revealed even more fully in future episodes).  Silver will put up with being ridiculed, but FlashbackFlint gave men a beatdown for insinuating an insult.  They are very different men, but strange pairs can achieve unexpected things.

    I also think we see in this episode how “strange pairs” applies to Eleanor and Vane (though they share characteristics and have different goals, which makes me skeptical of their partnership), Silver and Randall (same goal of surviving, different ways of doing so), and Jack/Anne/Max (same goal of profit, confusing sexuality issues to be navigated).

    FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

    • Billy is alive!  And being tortured very dispassionately by a British officer.  Civilization hurts you with a polite smile on their face.  This is, I think, more cruel.
    • Thomas is a dreamboat, insisting that the pirates of Nassau are merely a symptom of systemic problems in the British empire.  He is a man of deeply held values, and I love him.  He’s also clearly impressed by Flint’s ability to immediately list the numerous changes necessary to make Nassau a healthy colony.  And Flint, in turn, is stunned by Thomas refusing to be intimidated by this list (“Are you sure three ships would be enough?”)
    • We’ve long known that Flint is brilliant when it comes to manipulating battles, but we see in this episode that he is equally as good at manipulating people.  When he asks if Dufresne has read any of the books in the captain’s quarters, I think this is his last attempt to see if there is any reason to respect the man.  Dufresne fails, and Flint takes him out.  It is so satisfying to watch Flint tell him how “lettered men are harder to keep in line and more resistant to persuasion” WHILE he is manipulating and persuading him.  He uses flattery, vulnerability, and subtle criticism (they’ve been losing wind for hours and Dufresne hasn’t noticed) to thoroughly ensnare Dufresne’s pride.
    • The best thing is, Flint’s advice is sound.  Dufresne SHOULDN’T have attempted to take a prize.  If he’d gone back to Nassau to regroup as Flint suggested, he would still be captain.  But Flint knows that Dufresne’s pride will win over his good advice.  God, he’s brilliant.
    • In the tavern flashback, we learn that no matter how far James has fought his way up the ranks, his Navy peers still see him as a social climbing son of a carpenter.  It’s especially ironic to hear them talk about his supposed selfish motivations for keeping his assignment when we’ve just seen him try to talk Thomas into firing him.
    • It’s very interesting to me that Max implies that Jack has long known that Anne is attracted to women.  I didn’t notice this the first time through, and it helps explain why his later acceptance of their being in bed together, though still difficult for him, is not quite as shocking as it might have been.

    Flint:  What was that?
    Silver:  I am convincing the crew to allow me to remain with them.  As we discussed.
    Flint:  Is that what you’re doing?

    • In an interesting flip, it is Flint who assumes his crew are too adult to fall for Silver’s ploy, and it’s Silver who cynically assumes they’re little better than boys.
    • I skipped Mr. Meek’s beheading this time through.  It is one of two violent acts that are just too visceral for me to watch.
    • The Vane/Eleanor stuff is very interesting this episode!  He shows up to a meeting, and he constantly tells her that “If you aren’t strong enough to protect your own interests, then I urge you to stop behaving as though you are.”  I’m a little confused by this.  According to his role in the Consortium, isn’t he SUPPOSED to be the muscle?  Why does he keep acting as though he’s doing them a favor?  Or is it her personal power, as shown in her bodyguards, one of whom is murdered by Ned Lowe?
    • I did really love their last scene together in which Eleanor is vulnerable with Vane.  She admits that everything she has, personally and professionally, is very fragile.  “You want me to believe that you have some manner of concern for me.  Then show it.”  But along with the vulnerability, she also offers Vane the “mysterious asset” on Ned’s ship, thus insuring that she can never be sure if his actions are motivated by love for her or for profit.
    • “If you’re trying to impress me, it isn’t working.”  Liar!  Flint is attracted to nothing more than persistence.  Silver stands up for the fourth time, accepts a beating, and finally finds the line in the sand…the poor dairy goat.
    • In the moment of Silver’s triumph, he looks to Flint for validation.  Later, when the merchant ship strikes a flag of surrender, Dufresne also looks to Flint in his moment of triumph.  Whether positive or negative, everyone wants Flint’s approval.
    • I love Flint teaching Silver the intricacies of piracy.  It’s good exposition for us, but I think it also shows that he now sees Silver as someone deserving of instruction.

    “My concern for you is over that which cannot be known.  That thing which arises in you when passions are aroused – good sense escapes you.  All men have it.  But yours is different.  Darker.  Wilder.  I imagine it’s what makes you so effective as an officer.  But when exposed to extremes, I could not imagine what it is capable of.  And of greater concern, I’m not sure you do either.”

    • Civilization sees darkness and wildness and says to suppress it.  Pirates (as embodied in Ned Lowe) say to embrace it.  Is there a middle way?  **
    • Dufresne realizes that he was played by Flint too late – he’s lost the captaincy.  As much as I enjoy Flint’s success (that jacket!), Dufresne isn’t wrong.  Flint chose to put his crew in danger, and he chose to slaughter an entire ship full of innocent merchants and sailors in order to retake control of his ship.  This is…not good.  Again and again, the show asks us this question:  “What level of loss is acceptable as you fight to achieve your dream?”

    ** SPOILERS FOR SEASON FOUR

    Any character talking about darkness makes me think of Flint’s speech in 410: “In the dark there is discovery, there is possibility.  There is freedom in the dark when someone has illuminated it.”  I think this is the middle ground.  Avoiding the dark and wallowing in the dark are both unhealthy.  Wading into the darkness with the goal of illuminating it?  That is where change is possible.

    Not done reliving the episode?  Listen to Daphne and Liz’s podcast at Fathoms Deep!

  • Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

    Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

    Talia Hibbert returns with another charming romantic comedy about a young woman who agrees to fake date her friend after a video of him “rescuing” her from their office building goes viral…

    Danika Brown knows what she wants: professional success, academic renown, and an occasional roll in the hay to relieve all that career-driven tension. But romance? Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt. Romantic partners, whatever their gender, are a distraction at best and a drain at worst. So Dani asks the universe for the perfect friend-with-benefits—someone who knows the score and knows their way around the bedroom.

    When brooding security guard Zafir Ansari rescues Dani from a workplace fire drill gone wrong, it’s an obvious sign: PhD student Dani and ex-rugby player Zaf are destined to sleep together. But before she can explain that fact, a video of the heroic rescue goes viral. Now half the internet is shipping #DrRugbae—and Zaf is begging Dani to play along. Turns out, his sports charity for kids could really use the publicity. Lying to help children? Who on earth would refuse?

    Dani’s plan is simple: fake a relationship in public, seduce Zaf behind the scenes. The trouble is, grumpy Zaf’s secretly a hopeless romantic—and he’s determined to corrupt Dani’s stone-cold realism. Before long, he’s tackling her fears into the dirt. But the former sports star has issues of his own, and the walls around his heart are as thick as his… um, thighs.

    Suddenly, the easy lay Dani dreamed of is more complex than her thesis. Has her wish backfired? Is her focus being tested? Or is the universe just waiting for her to take a hint?

    Goodreads

    A thoroughly enjoyable friends-to-lovers romance novel with a fake dating plot! Be still, my fanfic heart. With sparkling dialogue, diverse characters, and meaningful relationships beyond the romantic, Take a Hint, Dani Brown is a great read.

    I don’t read romance novels all that often. Every time I do, I wonder why this is; they are so fun! Every one of its 320 pages flew by. Dani Brown is a fabulous lead – she is a confident black woman who practices witchcraft in honor of her grandmother and has sworn off romance because it hurts her heart…sorry, because she doesn’t have time for that nonsense! The book shares her perspective with Zafir Ansari, a Middle Eastern man whose career as a rugby player was cut short after a mental breakdown following a tragic family accident.

    This is classic opposites attract with all of the sparks this usually entails, but with the added bonus of genuine complementarity. When Zafir is anxious, Dani steps in to support him or divert attention. When Dani works too late, Zafir shows up with food and a gentle reminder to sleep. They respect each other’s differences and allow themselves to be changed by each other – so sweet!

    With a fake dating plot, of course this story is a bit ridiculous, and that is what makes it fun. There’s just enough miscommunication to keep things interesting, but not so much that everything would be fixed if they just had one conversation. Importantly, the miscommunication is usually internal. Dani truly believes she’s bad at romance and should avoid it, and Zaf truly believes he will be happy with a sex buddy without strings. They have to confront themselves before they can confront each other.

    As much as I loved Dani and Zaf with their snarky conversations and sizzling chemistry, I loved that each of them had family and friends who were equally interesting. I love a romance where the leads remember other people still exist!

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    Dani is a bisexual woman who has dated men and women. The story opens with her processing the breakup of her ex-girlfriend, who wanted something serious despite agreeing to only sex. In a really lovely, slightly spoilery, moment towards the end of the book, Dani circles back around to this ex to have a conversation about what they experience together.

    I love a bisexual woman confidently owning her sexuality while in a heterosexual relationship. And I love a man who is totally okay with her bisexuality. They are both A++ characters, and this bisexual lady would like to date them both!

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here!

  • 6 Podcasts for Dragon Age Fans

    6 Podcasts for Dragon Age Fans

    The Dragon Age series are games based in a world that is rich with detail, filled with complicated characters and gut-wrenching moral quandaries. They’re addictive, and if you’re anything like me, your interest didn’t stop when the game ended. Luckily for all of us, there are several excellent podcasts that will let you continue living in Thedas long after you’ve finished your fifth play through.

    6 Podcasts for Dragon Age Fans

    Updated May 2025

    One Off Episodes

    Some of my favorite podcasts have had episodes about Dragon Age. These are a great place to start if you crave a little Dragon Age content and don’t want to commit to an entire podcast. Consider starting with these:

    Femsplained

    • “Episode 3. Dragon Age – Femquisition” – March 7, 2018 (an introduction to the series as a whole)
    • “Episode 61. Dragon Age 2: Femsplained Again” – February 23, 2021 (a much better re-introduction now that the Femsplained hosts have settled into their dynamic)

    Literate Gamer

    • “Dragon Age – JS Lenore” – June 28, 2017 (the hosts are pretty terrible as they haven’t played the games and keep going down rabbit trails, but their guest loves the series and keeps bringing things back to where they should be!)

    Two Girls One Ship: Reviewing Video Game Romances

    • “Dragon Age Origins: Morrigan, Witch of the Wilds, Love Isn’t Weakness” – December 11, 2021 (each character gets their own podcast episode, all the other DA:O are near this time frame)
    • “Dragon Age 2: Fenris, Pain and Anger” – November 13, 2022 (same as above)
    • “Dragon Age Inquisition: Dorian Pavus, Hope for More” – December 4, 2023 (same as above)
    • “TGOS Patron Chat 37: Dragon Age The Veilguard Romances Discussion” – February 3, 2025 (individual episodes for Veilguard have not come out yet, but this is a great overview!)

    Entire Podcasts

    Split the Veil

    Hosts Caitie and Jordan have great podcast chemistry, and I appreciate the respect they show for each other’s opinions and insights as they discuss Dragon Age and occasionally Mass Effect. They cover game reviews, character rankings, and general discussions on broader themes and topics.

    Start with:

    • “60: Favorite Dragon Age Moments Pt. 1” – October 9, 2020
    • “40: State of the Nations” – July 6, 2019 (a discussion of the different countries in Thedas)
    • “7: Gender in the Dragon Age Fandom” – March 16, 2019 (feminist discussions and video games – my favorite!)

    Enchantment: Dragon Age Let’s Play Podcast

    Hosted by Manny and Brandon, two chaotic gay men who describe their experiences as they play through the Dragon Age games. They have finished Origins and are playing Dragon Age 2 now. This is the podcast for you if you want to relive the story with people who are new to the series (well, new for one of them).

    Start with:

    • “OR103 – Origins Faves w/ Liz from Dragon Age: On the Record Podcast” – May 20, 2019 (get a sense of their personalities and game preferences before delving into the full experience)
    • “OR001 – Meet Steván” – September 30, 2018 (the start of their Dragon Age: Origins actual play)

    Dragon Age Off the Record

    Liz and Road host this podcast, an in-depth review and discussion of each game, with an additional focus on DLCs, comics, books, and some interviews with DA creators!

    Start with:

    • “Dragon Age OTR ep 4: ‘Enchantment? EnCHANTment!’” (Dragon Age: Origin discussion begins)
    • “Dragon Age OTR 8: ‘Dangit, Anders!’” (Dragon Age II discussion begins)
    • “Dragon Age OTR 10: ‘Ride the Bull’” (Dragon Age: Inquisition discussion begins)

    Wicked Grace

    There are only two episodes in this too-short podcast, but they are worth a listen! CC hosts both, and she is joined by different women for each episode for a topic-based conversation. It still feels novel to listen to a podcast of only ladies talking about video games – I wish there had been more of this one!

    Start with:

    • “Episode 01: Divine Intervention” – November 30, 2017 (a discussion about the Divine Election options in Dragon Age: Inquisition)
    • “02: What To Expect When You’re Expecting (An Old God Baby)” – April 13, 2018 (a discussion about Morrigan’s child and the Dark Ritual from Dragon Age: Origins)

    Dungeons and Dragon Age

    Playing Dungeons & Dragons in the world of Thedas is SUCH a fun idea, and the four players certainly enjoy themselves, sometimes to the chagrin of the long-suffering DM (is there any other kind?). I am about halfway through the series, which ends after 18 episodes. I love a D&D actual play podcast with an ending!

    Start with:

    • “Episode #1 – Can I Take the Arm?” – August 14, 2020 (jump right in with the show’s first episode!)