Tricia McGarrah (she/her) is one half of Roar Cat Reads (along with Rachel). She writes the book reviews and tv recaps, and her favorite part running this site is hearing and telling the stories of fellow Adventure Queers.
Tricia, what made you want to start playing D&D?
I have always been a pretty big nerd, but D&D felt like it wasn’t for me for most of my life. Partly that was the conservative Christian message that it was satanic, but it was also because it seemed to be dominated by boys who wanted to micromanage fun times. It wasn’t until five years ago or so that I started to be intrigued by the game. I was a fan of the McElroy family, and their version of D&D in The Adventure Zone was silly and inviting. When I saw a tweet about a group of young girls turning feral wolves into a friendly wolf army, I knew I wanted that. When I moved to Vancouver, I thought finding a group to play with would help me make friends, so I reached out in a Nerdy Ladies of Vancouver Meetup group. You (Rachel) were the person who responded, so I’d say it worked out pretty well for me.
I’ve been lucky that all of my D&D experiences have been exactly the vibe that I hoped for. I know there are some queer nerds who are rules lawyers, but everyone I’ve played with has been primarily invested in having a good time and telling a good story.
What has been your most fun D&D experience?
There are so many to choose from, but one of my favorite sessions was infiltrating Governor Patricio Cabello’s soiree in our pirate campaign. I was playing my favorite character Bahasha, a nonbinary hadozee whose high charisma stats mostly involve bulldozing people with dumb charm. There were Beauty and the Beast-esque makeovers, bonding over mispronounced aperitifs, and gunshots in the bathroom.
It was the perfect balance of player hijinks and actually advancing the plot, which is an almost impossible scenario!
What games or systems do you hope to play in the future?
We bought Thirsty Sword Lesbians a few months back, and the system seems exactly designed for me. It’s all furtive looks over crossed swords, experience based on character growth, and advantage based on relationship strength. However, my brain is the antithesis of a rules lawyer, which unfortunately means that I feel entirely unable to learn/teach a new system. If anyone reading this has the book and wants to talk about the mechanics or GM a game, I would love to be included!
This blog launched in March 2021. What inspired you to start Roar Cat Reads?
I have always dreamed of owning a bookstore, and when I met you, that dream morphed into a book/game store. We were snowshoeing last winter, and at the time I happened to be feeling really stuck in my job. But I also had no real idea how (or if) my career dream could ever turn into a reality. You challenged me to find a way to take a step toward being a part of the Vancouver nerdy scene, and a blog seemed like my best bet. I was a daily blogger for almost a decade starting in high school, so churning out content didn’t intimidate me.
Although I dabbled in some non-queer nerdy media at first with the blog, it quickly became clear that queer and nerdy should be our niche. I’ve really loved focusing in on this specific subset of nerd culture – it’s encouraged me to read books that might have slipped my radar, and it gave me an excuse to talk about Black Sails again. Most importantly, it has connected me to so many interesting people through the Adventure Queer series and our Discord community. Whether we stay a website or someday live out my shopfront dreams, I always want to create a space that is first and foremost welcoming to “women, femmes, and thems” (a phrase my friend taught me). There are plenty of spaces for cis white heterosexual nerds; I hope Roar Cat Reads is the space for everyone else.
If you were stuck on a desert island, what three nerdy books would you take?
Thank you for not specifying “queer,” because I would absolutely have to take Lord of the Rings. It is my earliest and deepest fandom, and the themes of that book are endlessly revelatory and inspiring to me. It would definitely help wile away the time (you’ve got to take at least one brick of a book to a desert island), and it stands up to rereads super well.
I would also take The Unspoken Name, a perfect fantasy book about a lesbian orc mercenary. I’ve been itching to reread it anyway!
My third book would be Nimona, Noelle Stevenson’s graphic novel about a shapeshifter. It’s lighthearted until it’s gut-wrenching, which is my favorite kind of story. It will also balance out the word heavy books for those times when I don’t want to invest a ton of hours in a book.
You recently got into a new podcast – talk about it!
Oh, you mean We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle? Readers, you should know that this is a very clever move on Rachel’s part. I’ve been bugging her with anecdotes from podcast episodes for the last week, and she’s found a way for me to purge my feelings! Some of you might know that Glennon wrote Untamed, the late-in-life-lesbian’s bible. I loved her books back when she was a progressive Christian, and it has been incredibly convenient that she has written about her life evolving in basically the same way mine has (assumed we were straight but in a mostly uninterested way until we met a woman who turned our world upside down).
The fact that Glennon’s partner, Abby Wambach, is a lifelong lesbian and sports queen, has caused me to entirely relate my relationship with Rachel to theirs. This is maybe not the healthiest practice, but I am LOVING the episodes in which they discuss sexuality, gender, sex, conflict, and just about everything else. They’re passionate, funny, and really honest. I highly recommend the podcast to everyone!
What is in store for the future of Roar Cat Reads?
So many things! Our charity event raising money for Rainbow Refugee is this Saturday, October 16th. I hope everyone will watch the full day of D&D that is GMed and played by queer people on Twitch, and if you’re able, you can donate or bid in our silent auction.
We’ve been talking to the Vancouver Pride Society about potentially coordinating some events for Winter Pride. It’s not confirmed, and whether we get to be involved or not, I hope everyone keep them on your radar! They have some great plans in the works.
We also hope to expand into some pop up shop experiences in the next year. It would be a chance to sell Rachel’s Mini Monstrosities and dice bags as well as books, but more importantly, we could play D&D and board games with the community we’ve developed. It’s wonderful how much can be done online, but there’s something special about playing together in person.
Nicholas Eames (he/him) is the author of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose, the first two books in the hilarious and heartfelt trilogy The Band. I’m grateful that he took the time to speak with me about the musical influences on his work, how he decided to write a book with a queer female protagonist, and what we can expect from the final book in his trilogy. Please enjoy this interview with Nicholas Eames:
The world of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose feel very inspired by D&D and RPGs. What is it about those systems and stories that inspired to you write these books?
The main premise of the series is inspired by rock bands, but there are a lot of similarities between bands and RPG groups, namely, getting together with friends to have a good time. I hope the books capture the spirit of roleplaying with the camaraderie and friendship that can form while playing RPGs with a lot of laughter and drinks.
I’ve played D&D since my first year of high school. I skipped school for the very first time to play D&D and had this epic odyssey getting home, jumping ditches and dodging cops. It was pretty memorable. Right off the bat, I immediately knew I wanted to tell the stories myself. I’ve been DMing ever since.
What motivated you to write the second book in your series with a queer woman as the protagonist?
It wasn’t something I set out to do when I originally wrote it. The main character was a boy named Tom, but halfway into it, I wasn’t liking the way his relationship with the band and Rose in particular was playing out. It was all too cliché. I talked to my editor, and even though it was pretty late in the writing process, I made the main character a girl instead. It wasn’t as easy as changing “he”s to “she”s; every conversation became different. I had to go back to the beginning and start over. It made a night and day difference to the story; Tam’s relationship with Rose felt right, and her relationship with Cura developed. The character just fit better.
When my editor and I were talking about making this change, we knew there would be some pushback. Kings of the Wyld was a book about older white cis dudes, and that appeals to a certain kind of reader who is going to expect more of the same. We knew assholes would gripe about it, and we checked in with each other: Do you care? No – okay, let’s do it. Luckily, people responded pretty well. And ultimately, if you get one teenage girl who writes and says she sees herself in the character, it’s worth it.
I didn’t find it difficult to write from the perspective of a queer woman, but you obviously want to be as careful as you can and not to fall into any stereotypes. With all of my characters, their sexuality doesn’t define them. It’s something that affects them, but it’s not everything. A lot of fantasy will make a big deal out of a gay character; I wanted to make it a fact of life.
I really enjoyed seeing the story through Tam’s perspective, and I would love to know why you chose to make her the protagonist rather than the titular Rose?
I was using famous rock and roll tropes, and Bloody Rose is Almost Famous with a rock journalist on the road with the band. When a band is full of self-destructive assholes, you can’t see that as much when you’re in their shoes. You have to see that from someone else’s perspective. Axl Rose telling his story would just be, “I’m amazing.” And yes, Axl Rose is the inspiration for Rose’s name.
Your female characters are all very diverse and complex, and Cura became one of my favorite characters. The reveal that she has been weaponizing and reliving her trauma through her tattooed summons was really powerful, as was the way she eventually started healing. What inspired you to tell this particular story?
Kings of the Wyld was about the music of the 70s, and Bloody Rose is about 80s music. The characters in the second book had to be larger than life, with the equivalent of the facepaint and big hair in the 80s. The tattoos were originally not about trauma. She had butterfly wings tattooed that would come out, and fireballs tattooed on her arm. I hadn’t gotten through the first scene with her before realizing it sucked. I knew it had to be something more, and with the theme of the self-destructiveness and self-harm that happened with 80s rock, I wanted her story to be about gaining mastery over something that haunts you.
One of my favorite themes is “hurt people hurt people” and the cycle of violence. We see this on both a personal and systemic level in your books. Why did you choose to focus your story on this theme?
I wrote Kings of the Wyld as a standalone, but my publisher asked if it could be a series and obviously I said yes. I knew I was not going to keep the same main characters, which turned into the idea that the series would move through eras of music and involve different generations. You can read them in any order, but the events in one affect what happens in the next. Within each book, the characters carry something forward from the past – like resentment of or love from parents – and consequences are always cascading into the future. That cycle is the point of the whole series.
What can you tell readers about the third book in the series?
It’s called Outlaw Empire, and it’s inspired by 90s music. If I’m picky, it’s about early 90s anti-establishment music: grunge, hip hop, Rage Against the Machine. They were all angry about things. I’m going to keep the book funny and light, relatively, but it will definitely be defined by its music.
There will be some carry over characters. It’s the final book of the series, so anyone who’s alive might be in there at some point. If anyone had kids, you can almost guarantee they’re in there. In fact, you’ve already met three of the four band members. One of the characters is a kobold named Shortknife; he’s mentioned briefly in a Kings of the Wyld scene. By the time I was writing the third book, I knew the group would be made up of both men and monsters, and he was a perfect character to put in. He’s got a really cool power, and he’s that one character who gets to say the fun and ludicrous things (in the first book, that was Moog, then Roderick in Bloody Rose).
It must be a very different experience to write a book on your own in contrast to writing the third book of a series with an already established audience. How has that experience been for you?
Before I wrote Kings of the Wyld, I spent ten years writing a giant grimdark fantasy book. I was racking up rejection letters, and I decided I wanted to write something that was the exact opposite. I didn’t want to get lost in worldbuilding, and I let the story be funny and goofy. Kings of the Wyld was a one in a million idea, and I’m so lucky that I thought of it, and that no one else had thought of it first. Bloody Rose is good, but it was more challenging to write.
I was hellbent on finishing Bloody Rose quickly while Kings of the Wyld came out. I had a rough time dealing with expectations, especially in my own head. Honestly, I had a relatively miserable time writing most of it. There came a point at the end of it when I had also started writing the third book that I just snapped. I knew I couldn’t keep stressing out about it. I would lay in bed and get out a calculator to work out how far behind on my word count I was, and how many days were left until the deadline. But I came to the realization that nothing is worth your mental health, so I took a big step back. Now I’m working toward finding a balance.
Is there anything else readers should know about your books?
I have curated playlists on Spotify (Kings of the Wyld | Bloody Rose), with songs that are a chapter by chapter breakdown for Kings of the Wyld on my website. They’re not imperative, but they add a lot to the books. Certain songs were so important that they unravelled scenes I was stuck on, and you can listen to them and read the chapter beat by beat.
Queen’s song “Too Much Love Will Kill You” is Freecloud’s song, and Meatloaf’s “For Crying Out Loud” is the final battle scene in Bloody Rose. I listened to it 4 or 5 times on the way to work to plot out that scene, right down to a pause for the moment Tam releases her arrow.
What queer and/or nerdy things are you enjoying at the moment?
Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth. Harrow in particular is bewildering as hell, but worth the read for the writing itself – it’s phenomenal. Both books remind you that you can tell a fantasy story with a contemporary voice.
The Unspoken Name. My god, I love it. It’s great, and the last sentence is absolutely beautiful.
For more information on Nicholas Eames and his work, please visit his website.
Rachel Adams (she/her) is one half of Roar Cat Reads. We’ve been creating content and community for six months now, so we figured it was time that you got to know the women behind the blog!
Rachel, you help run a website with the tagline Queer and Nerdy in Vancouver. Have you always identified as queer and nerdy?
No, I don’t think so. I have known for a very long time that I’m queer (20 years), but I’ve only really embraced my nerdiness in the last 3-4 years. I push very hard against the queer thing as I despise labels but acknowledge their usefulness. Because I have known that I’m gay and have lived openly for 20 years, I do want to wave a flag and say I’m here, but it feels weird for my sexuality to be one of the things I should introduce myself as. I’m excited for a time when that is not the case. I want to put the flag down and just be me; possibly the younger generation are getting to that point.
As much as I hate labels that are applied to me, I understand that it’s a way to identify people who are like you and into the same things. As a community-building aspect, it’s a good thing. I like being labeled a nerd more than I like being labeled queer. Being “queer” feels necessary; being a “nerd” feels like I’m going to attract more nerds, which makes me happy.
I had a significant life change a few years ago, and I became closer to more friends who were nerdy at that time. I started playing a lot of board games, and shortly after that I started playing D&D. I embraced the ability to be outside of myself for a little while (particularly with D&D though I will try to role-play literally anything). It was a sad time for me, but some of the best times I had were playing Carcassone and Castles of the Mad King Ludwig and Machi Koro with this small group of people.
Now I am a nerd and I am proud of it. I was a nerd in denial, a secret nerd, a stealth nerd. I had these interests, but I didn’t think I was allowed to be into them. The acceptable way to do that was with sports; you can be as nerdy as you want with sports, and people accept this.
Where are you from originally? When did you move to Vancouver and why did you choose to stay?
I’m from England, and I originally came to Vancouver during the financial crisis of 2008. The place I was working in Bangor, North Wales, downsized and offered voluntary redundancy. I spent the money to come to Canada for 2.5 months to visit a friend who had moved out here. I absolutely loved it and applied for a working visa to come for another year. I loved the city and was lucky to get to know locals. It felt much more like a forever place than if I’d kept my friend group with transient people. I came into my career, which has been a nice, stable influence for me as well. When I came to Vancouver, it felt like things fell into place.
When did you first start playing D&D and when did you know it was going to become a big part of your life?
I started playing about three years ago. It was something I talked about with a couple friends who were interested, but it was that conversation where they say, “We should work out how to do this!” but no one would pull the trigger on it. I got the Starter Set and read through it. Pretty soon, I was DMing for a couple of my gay friends, and at the same time, I started DMing with a nerdy ladies group that I met through Meetup.
I really enjoyed the creative aspect of putting the story together. All the enjoyment I got out of board games predisposed me to going through the rules to figure out how they allow the game to happen. The two groups were very different, which made me realize how diverse D&D can be. The gay men group was very much “kick the door down, where’s the loot,” whereas the ladies group was much more challenging to DM. They were unpredictable and would befriend things rather than kill them. I lucked out having these two really great groups of people at just the right time. It filled a creative need for me and a social need as well.
What are some of your favorite queer books?
Ash by Malinda Lo. It’s a retelling of the Cinderella story, and it’s just so cute. It’s a really nice read, and I appreciated it because I will often draw inspiration for my D&D campaigns from fairy tales or stories that I’ve read.
Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst. It’s not a good book necessarily, but it was exactly the book I needed to read when I read it. It was wonderful.
Seven Eves by Neal Stephenson. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s an absolute log of a book – easily 800 pages. It’s sci fi, and the world is slowly destroyed over a period of three years. Humanity survives by various means, but there’s a particularly awesome relationship between a Russian cosmonaut and a scientist working on the International Space Station.
You have started a new weekly series chronicling our fantasy football league. Why did you push for it to be included under the “queer and nerdy” umbrella?
It has been brought to my attention that there is a lot of crossover between nerds and sports fans. Nerds like to be the holders of all knowledge about a certain thing by sheer consumption of that thing. The same can be said about sports fans (I watched seven hours of football on Sunday). There is no difference between knowing all of the rules of D&D or where to find it in the Player’s Handbook and having an encyclopedic knowledge of the wins and losses of a football team or stats for an individual player. The more I think about it, I’d actually like you to find a difference between those groups of people.
You’re the creative heart of Roar Cat Reads. What crafting projects are you most excited about?
I’ve got a number of them on the go at the moment. One of the first things I enjoyed making was the monstrosities. I made them on a whim. I was trying to make terrarium ornaments, but I don’t actually know anything about terrariums. However, I made a little thing that I would want to exist in a terrarium if someone would like to gift me one. We have a bunch of them in our plant pots at the moment, and I think they look great. At my upcoming Eldtrich Horror birthday party, I expect one or two of them will adorn the cake. If this sounds excellent to anyone, let me know because we have a bunch cluttering our house!
I’m learning to make dice bags at the moment. It’s been a fun project, because I love collecting dice (we get a set every month through our Adventure Dice subscription). I need a place to put them, so dice bags are perfect!
I’m attempting to make my own dice with resin, which so far has been with mixed results. But it’s fun to play around with it and see what’s possible. Any time I see something artsy that I think I can work out how it’s done, I want to give it a try. That’s how I got into making maps for D&D sessions as well. It’s also cool because I can see that skill progressing. If only I would put in the boring practice to really hone that skill! It’s nice being around artistic people like Nick. He taught me how to sew. Being in a creative community is so valuable.
Is there anything else you think readers should know about you?
I’m running a charity event in 9 days. The part I have taken on is wrangling the technology. Tricia is the face because she is the greatest (editor’s note: Rachel really said this, but I (Tricia) did choose to keep it), but I’ve been learning how to use OBS and other various bits and pieces. It’s been a fun process to learn it, and I’m excited to stream more content in the future. If anyone reading wants to ask questions about that process or help me learn more about it, let me know!
It was my absolute pleasure to interview Sarah Blake (she/her) about Naamah. This retelling of the story of Noah from his bisexual wife’s perspective became a fast favorite of mine, and I can’t seem to stop including it in my “BestOf” Lists. Please enjoy this interview with Sarah Blake:
What motivated you to retell the story of Noah?
In my poetry, I was rewriting the stories of women I’d been introduced to in my childhood. In these new stories about them, I wanted them to be women that I would have been drawn to. So many stories of women ended in heartache, sacrifice, punishment, and death. And the happy endings took place at marriage, which seemed a little early to me.
What themes were you keen to explore and make your own?
I wanted to explore hopelessness. That’s what drew me to Naamah. I felt hopeless in my life (in the face of gun violence and rising antisemitism), but her situation was hopeless to the extreme. She was stuck on the water with no end in sight, with every task at hand a difficult one, and with everyone she knew dead. I wanted to offer her things–gifts, respite, love, escape.
And I was drawn to the time period. We have so little evidence about that time, I could imagine it however I wanted. I could explore sexuality, gender, and marriage without any of the social constraints of today. In a book about God trying to get the world right, I could make something closer to the world I wanted.
Naamah is a bisexual woman whose sexuality is complicated but never apologized for. Why was it important for you to create her this way?
I thought this was important, yes, but I also thought it would be the truth! I didn’t feel like I was creating Naamah that way. Instead I felt like I was interrogating what a woman would be like in this time, given these circumstances. That she would be bisexual (or pansexual) seemed beyond question to me. If you strip back all of the terrible things we’re taught about what’s normal and what’s not, about what to have shame about, what to have guilt about, I think what’s left is people experiencing attraction all over the spectrum of sexuality.
You chose to represent Naamah’s experience, in part, through her loss of vision. To me, that evokes so much of the hopelessness you described as a theme – the literal representation of not being able to see anything, let alone something better. What does Naamah’s inability to see the animals on the ark say about her way of coping with immense tragedy?
I’ve always been fascinated with the ways our minds try to protect us–what we forget and what we remember–and how often our mind gets it wrong. Holding onto some terrible memory isn’t actually protecting us from future harm! When I thought about Naamah on the ark, after months had passed, with no end to the flood in sight, I imagined that her mind might try to protect her. And the first thing I thought it might do is strip her of her ability to see them, which, of course, puts her in more danger.
For Naamah, the unseen world (of angels, visions, and memories) becomes more real than the family and animals that are stuck on the boat with her. Why did you focus so much of Naamah’s journey on her interactions with Sarai, with the Metatron, etc.?
The children, still alive under the water, were a gift to Naamah, and to myself. It was hard to face all of the tragedy that the flood posed. Sarai, too, was a gift–a glimpse into the future, some small hope that all of Naamah’s work is not for nothing.
From the start of the book, I knew Naamah would have to talk to God the way that Noah had talked to Him. And I knew that, according to ancient Jewish texts, this would be through the Metatron. (I also love Kevin Smith’s Dogma, and Alan Rickman’s portrayal of the Metatron, so I had to include him!) Building up her encounters with the Metatron allowed me and her to have that final conversation with God.
I am also struck by how much Naamah lives in her body, in her physicality. This is especially evident in her vibrant sex life. These sorts of representations are few and far between, never mind the fact that this is a reimagining of a biblical story. Did you have any pushback when you were creating or selling the book?
This is so important to me, across all of my work. I love bodies, and my body, and I want everyone to love their body. And I especially want people to have the language and the comfort level that they need to talk about their body, be it to their partner(s) or to medical professionals.
Luckily, I didn’t have any pushback. There were many agents who only wanted to represent the book if I removed the sex or the cursing or the whathaveyou. So I waited until I found the right agent! And she knew instantly which editor would love this book and would stand behind every part of it that mattered to me. I was very lucky.
What do you hope readers take away from Naamah?
I hope at the end of the book there’s a sense of power and joy. That’s what I wanted for Naamah and for myself.
Your new book, Clean Air, comes out February 8, 2022. What can you tell Roar Cat Reads readers about it?
I’m so excited about Clean Air. It’s about Izabel, her husband, Kaito, and their daughter, Cami. They live in a future where unfiltered air is unbreathable due to pollen levels. Their lives take place in dozens of airtight domes. At the very start of the book, someone begins slashing those domes, killing the families inside by exposing them to the air. Soon Izabel and her family get tangled up with the killer in a few unpredictable ways, and it’s a pretty wild ride!
For more information on Sarah Blake and her work, please visit her website.
Stephanie, you’re going to GM the 1:00 p.m. PST session for our Rainbow Refugee Charity Event on October 16th. Can you tell us a little about your session?
My session takes place in a Sound of Music-esque quaint little Swiss Alps town. The characters are going to try to break into a pair of socialites’ home during a ball to steal a fabled ticket to a hidden VIP brunch location. Gay hilarity will ensue!
I’m so excited to see this play out. How would you describe your GM style in general?
My ideas always go through several stages of chaos before I know what I want to do. When I was thinking about this session, I knew I wanted to do a heist. A while ago, I ran a one shot that dug into my character’s backstory – he was a drug smuggler, and his friend got caught and ratted him out. He was led on a heist through a bunch of tunnels, and when he finally opened a hatch, it was into a police station. I thought I would reuse it, but with everything going on, I don’t want minorities like myself to feel the threat of policing. So took the heist idea and twisted it, always asking, “How can I make it more queer?” Eventually I realized that the thing we love more than anything is: Brunch.
I have always run one shots when I GM, but I like them to be deeper than just a dungeon crawl. I like there to be a story that players can discover if they so choose, otherwise they can fly by it. I made a dungeon once that had artifacts hidden around hinting at the fact that someone had once hidden their lover in the dungeon to protect them from evil forces; the players got really invested and wanting to figure out what was going on. They wound up fighting the ghost of the person hidden there, and afterwards everyone was asking, “What was this?” and “Who was that?”
When you’re making a one shot, I think they do need to be a little railroad-y with a set goal and a set end. Otherwise they grow into multiple sessions and, eventually, a campaign. But like I said, it’s railroad-y but with added flavour and depth so that it’s not just going into new rooms and killing new bad guys.
What kind of characters do you tend to play?
Character creating is my favorite thing! Every character I’ve created is my child.
The first character I created was a joke – he was meant to be the most annoying bard ever. He was a 16-year-old prince who went to a bougie music school, had a ridiculously long name, and played an otamatone. Over the two year campaign, he wrote himself. He ended up becoming a young hero of the party who was brave and heroic, when at first he was stuck up and didn’t want to help others in case he hurt himself. In general, I love creating dynamic characters that are more than just one note.
How long have you been playing D&D? What has your experience been like?
The week after New Year’s 2017, a good friend of mine and their “friend” (now wife) started playing D&D. They gathered a couple other friends (all queer), invited me, and we all gave it a try. Something that was just a fun whatever turned into a campaign that lasted two years, and then another two year campaign after that!
Like you, I’ve always played D&D with queer people, and I hear horror stories about the worst kinds of straight TTRPGS. What do you think makes a queer D&D experience so special?
There is unspoken solidarity between everyone at the table. We know where to draw the line so that we don’t touch on our collective trauma; there’s no racism, homophobia, transphobia, or sexual assault. We know what it’s like to be queer in real life – it’s cathartic to be queer in a fantasy world, to be who you want to be with freedom.
In general, I think queer people are often creative, artistic people. We’re good at coming up with stories and characters. If you put two characters in front of me, I would know which was the gay one. I don’t know why this is. It’s probably multi-factoral, but I think part of it comes from turning into yourself because of fear, and finding ways to express what you find in there.
I will say that straight people can be good players too. There’s a girl in our current campaign that I call our “token straight.” And I’ve played D&D with some good boys before; one had a friend who came out as non-binary, so he played a non-binary character to practice using they/them pronouns.
I understand that you volunteer with Rainbow Refugee. Can you tell us a little about what that looks like?
I grew up seeing and helping my mom, who was really into animal rescue. She created her own non-profit (Best Friends for Life) to collect pet food and supplies for people living in the Downtown Eastside. So fundraising and fundraising events are something I’m very familiar with.
About a year ago, I saw a post on Instagram from local trans activist Lauren Sundstrom asking if anyone could help bring an Iranian trans man and his wife fleeing persecution to Canada from Turkey. I said yes!
Our fundraising circle has ten people. We have a Canada Helps page where we raise money by doing events like silent auctions. Rainbow Refugee requires a foundation of at least $20,000 to get someone set up, and we’ve raised almost $30,000! We’re also working on the paperwork necessary to actually get them to Canada, hopefully by the new year. Once they arrive, we will be their social and emotional support. We will help them find and furnish an apartment, and support them for at least their first year here.
The most interesting part of this process has been navigating this during COVID. The easiest go-to fundraiser is a pub night, but you can’t do that now. I will say, Rainbow Refugee has been so supportive of our fundraising initiatives. They provided an immigration lawyer who briefly worked with our team to help navigate the legalities of fundraising.
If someone is interested in volunteering, can you tell us the best way to connect with Rainbow Refugee?
Go to their website and shoot them an email. They might have circles that need more volunteers, or there may be fundraisers that you can participate in.
Is there anything you would like our readers to know about?
Support our next fundraiser. The wife that we’re helping coming to Canada is sending us her art – water colours, brooches, and pins. They’re so beautiful! We’re going to sell them in a silent auction to keep raising money for her and her husband.
Also, please don’t protest in front of hospitals! I work in chemotherapy, and all of our patients were late to their appointments; some of them are disabled, and they had to walk three blocks to get to their appointments because of protesters!
Get vaccinated!
Do you have any queer nerdy recommendations for readers?
My friend has started a D&D podcast called Fey Finders (@feyfinders on Instagram and Twitter) that everyone should check out.
I also want to shout out GM Tim! He was working at Strategies and sold me my first set of dice. He’s awesome. (GM Tim is also a GM for our Rainbow Refugee Charity Event).
The last thing I want to plug is Lykopis Archery on Commercial Drive. That’s where I practice, and it’s run by a queer POC lady master archer and is super inclusive!
Thank you Stephanie! I’m so excited to watch your D&D session on October 16th.
Hello! I’m Haley Boros, my pronouns are she/her, and I’m an award winning graphic designer, illustrator, and published cartoonist. Outside of my career in the label printing and flexible packaging industry, my creative practice focuses on whimsy and fantastical creatures – think dogs doing fantasy jobs! I’ve contributed to several comic and art anthologies since 2017, most of which can be found on my website at haleyboros.com. You can also become a patron of mine at patreon.com/hihaleyboros, or follow along at @hihaleyboros on twitter and instagram!
How did you begin playing/DMing D&D? What is your favorite aspect of the game?
My first experience playing in a roleplaying game like D&D was when I was in high school and hanging out at the local game shop (Bastion Games). Chad Charest and I grew up together and we would go there on Wednesdays to hang out. We were invited to play in the attic of the store and, while that campaign didn’t last for me, I went on to play in many different groups over the years.
During my time playing tabletop games, I’ve been a player more than a DM. I have had the opportunity to run three one shot campaigns, two of which were modules and one was written by myself! That one was particularly wonderful: picture a cozy comic convention on the east coast of the US, in Bethesda, Maryland – and in a hotel room, 4 cartoonists got together to storm a library as their respective characters. Dust mephits! Lots of flying books! It was quite the adventure I planned (with help from my husband Jessy, of course!).
I’d have to say the best part about playing is getting to know my characters and their backstories. I feel like I’ve always created fun characters, most with interesting parts about themselves (I’m partial to skin and eye pigment distinguishing features like heterochromia and vitiligo)!
As a bisexual woman, have roleplaying games helped you explore or express your queer identity?
Unfortunately, I can’t say that playing roleplay games has! I’m a late queero, coming out after I married my husband in 2016, but knowing who I’ve been my whole life and kind of affirming it, I haven’t seen a shift in exploration of who I am through roleplaying games…yet! I’ve played with a few of my friends that have introduced a whole spectrum of sex and gender identities, but I’m itching for more!
You have contributed as a cartoonist and illustrator to several projects, including Faerie Fire, a 5e supplemental Anthology and Welcome to Mina’s: A Diner Comic Anthology. You are currently promoting Fantastic Frights, a comic anthology coming to Kickstarter in October 2021. How do you decide what projects you would like to participate in?
Great question! With so many things in my creative career, I’m drawn to projects that I could really see my skills lending well to. With those specific projects – I reached out to Shan Campbell, the editor of Astrolago Press and publisher of Faerie Fire, to see if they needed more artists since their stretch goals kept climbing and climbing on the kickstarter.
With Cloudscape comics, I’ve always wanted to be involved with this local society! I met a few of the collective back in 2012 at the very first VanCAF and have been following their projects ever since. Welcome to Mina’s is the first comic I’ve contributed to Cloudscape, creating the art to Dino Caruso’s lovely story about two women that fall in love over the years, connected by the warmth and atmosphere that is Mina’s diner. I’m drawn to stories with heart at their core. With Mina’s, it’s the shared love between two strangers turned friends turned partners throughout the decades. Ultimately, I leave a lot of my projects up to the decisions of editors, as many anthology projects are submission based, and their decisions are what fills my plate with projects. I just love creating stories with other people and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.
Can you tell us a little about Fantastic Frights as a whole as well as what you contributed to the anthology?
For sure! Fantastic Frights is an all-ages fantasy/horror comics anthology that will feature stories in order by least to most spooky. I’ve been told it’s a modern day love letter to those pulp horror stories of the 90s and early 2000s – but with a fantasy twist! When it comes to fantasy and horror comics, those two genres blended together have become one of my favourites.
My story is with Amy Chase, whom I’ve worked with on a couple other past comics projects (see: They Have Issues: Tales from comic book stores), and it’s about a little girl that has a plush canada goose that watches over her as she sleeps. Only, at night, our good knight goose comes to life to fend off unsightly dust bunnies and other bumps in the night. I imagine this story to be at the very beginning of the anthology, although the editors haven’t said where it will be – but given the subject matter, if it’s right at the beginning, I bet it will give this anthology a really great opener.
I have seen you selling pet portraits on Twitter – they are so cute! How did this start, and how do you capture the spirit of someone’s pet?
Thank you! I’ve been doing commissions for quite some time, but my pet portraits started at the first VanCAF I exhibited at, in 2017. It was also my first year on the board for VanCAF too, and I was excited to show off my work. It really just took off from there. Often when I’m in artist alley’s at comic conventions, I’ll offer pet portraits for a base price and scale up from there based on size, colour, that sort of thing. When I’m drawing a pet, I like to focus on areas that draw me in and I also ask the client what is one word to describe their pet. Like a little bit of tuft fur that always seems to stick up in that specific way, an ear that flops back, or even a sassy pose!
What makes my portraits stand out is that I like to mix them up with D&D classes too. You might get a roguish lizard or a lovebird that’s a wizard! Once I show the client the finished portrait and I get to see the look on their face seeing their loved one – especially if the portrait is for a pet that’s passed on…just pure happiness on their faces. I love it.
What art prompt challenges can we expect to see you participate in in the coming months?
Well, this month I’ve combined Doggust (August) and Swordtember (September) prompts! I don’t have a completed title for the series yet, I’ve been calling it Dogs with Swords (very original), but if anyone comes up with a better one, I’ll give you a copy of the completed, printed collection, on me! I may do a third volume of Three-Legged Tales in October? I have yet to decide and in typical me fashion, I leave my decisions down to the last few days before the month’s challenge starts.
Other than D&D or comics, what nerdy interests are you most excited about right now?
Two come to mind immediately: Astronomy and Video games! I’ve always said that if I wasn’t an artist, I would probably be a scientist studying astrophysics. There is always some amazing news coming out of the field of Astronomy and I just love doing science research. In regards to video games, I have my own Nintendo Switch that I pour hours of play into. Games like Animal Crossing, Cozy Grove, Spiritfarer, Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Pokemon – all of the great chill or open world RPGs. And yes, I do have the limited edition Animal Crossing switch, ha!
Do you have any recommendations of queer nerdy content that you would like people to know about?
Oh you bet I do! I’m currently reading Tillie Walden’s On A Sunbeam, a queer space graphic novel set in a world with mystical space creatures and there are even some fun little LARPing happening in panels too. It’s been on my to-read list for awhile and I’m just adoring it. Also set in space is Becky Chamber’s A Long Way To A Small Angry Planet, another sci fi story that has queer characters and just lovely character building. I wish I could say I’ve been watching more TV and movies than I am, but Jessy and I LOVE watching The Circle (a new season just dropped) and that show is one great human experiment, mixing different identities, politics, gender, all sorts of human interactions – without ever seeing the person on the other side of the screen. It’s just so fun.
Thank you again for having me as part of Roar Cat Reads!
Milo Applejohn (he/him, they/them) is a Métis graphic medicine and fiction illustrator. He is the author of graphic novel Fox on the Table: Broken Sun and novella Fox on the Table: The Princess and the Plague King, and he was most recently a story contributor to the North American Indigenous storytelling novel Cautionary Fables, now on Kickstarter. You can follow him on Twitter @bonmotmilo.
Milo, how did you get into playing D&D and when did it hook your interest?
I started playing in 2007 when I was invited to join a party. I thought it would be an actual party, but when I arrived, I realized it was a D&D party. I stayed anyway and played; I actually met my husband there! I had always been a nerd, but initially I wasn’t very interested in the game. That first group was very rules based, and I was pretty checked out. When the group fell apart, I didn’t play for a long time.
After I had my first baby, I really needed human interaction. My husband and I were friends with another pair of couples who had kids. We were this great mom/dad/nonbinary parenting group, and we all started playing D&D together at parent-convenient times. Unfortunately, that group dissolved when one of the couples divorced, but I joined other groups because by then, I was much more into the game. Most recently, I’ve been playing for a couple years with Jessy and Haley Boros and others.
It wasn’t until I tried DMing that I was really hooked. That’s when I could see D&D from a narrative experience rather than a mechanical experience. I introduced romance into the games, which was really fun and gave us opportunities to learn consent and boundaries.
I have had such great friends in my D&D groups, and what I love most about it all is giving my DMing to my friends. I’m a creative, academic person, and I can create a story and experience as a gift to the people I really care about.
Have roleplaying games helped you explore or express your queer identity?
I wish they had! Honestly, I’ve been struggling to play characters since coming out. I usually play masculine female characters, and I spent so long building my identity around female characters that I don’t know how to move forward. I will often play elves because they’re androgynous. There’s this idea in D&D that you should be playing an idealized version of yourself, like, “This is the man I ought to be.” But I don’t know who that is, and I always feel like I have to fight to present as masculine. I do want to play a trans character someday, but I feel like they would become a Mary Sue.
Getting deeply involved in a character feels too weird and personal right now, so I prefer to DM. That way I can play a lot of different characters, which feels more comfortable. It also lets me feel like I’m creating for others rather than for myself.
The most important thing D&D has helped me with was giving me a supportive community. When I came out two years ago, I lost the people who raised me to transphobia, which I wasn’t expecting. But my D&D community was right there, so happy for me, celebrating me. A little while before that, I was diagnosed with autism, and again, my group accepted me. That’s why I love creating things for them, whether that’s campaigns, graphic novels, or character drawings.
What kind of stories do you like to tell when you’re DMing?
I like to create stories that are in the grey space. There is so much there to be explored. I think D&D and tarot have a lot in common: I think of tarot as a psychological tool that shows you what you’re looking for. D&D can do the same thing.
I’ve always been a fan of complicating D&D stereotypes – give me a Drow charity worker! My villains aren’t evil, and my good guys aren’t perfect. In my stories, I always want my players to get past the automatic knee-jerk reaction of killing the character who betrays them. I’ve tried to lead them in that direction by dropping backstory about someone that they killed that leaves them thinking, “Oh, they were cool as heck!” Hopefully that makes them stop and think before killing the next NPC.
It’s not always easy telling stories in the grey space. We played a year long campaign where it began with your traditional behind the scenes quest giver, but because of the way this character was read in a setting where we were asking these questions about intent, the party ultimately changed sides! I hadn’t planned it this way, and it was fascinating to see the traditional ‘mysterious quest giver’ archetype processed through this lens where in the end, they found him manipulative.
What makes a D&D table feel safe to you? How do you create safe spaces for people playing with you?
I always do veils and lines with my players to establish boundaries: Something is a “veil” if it’s okay to happen in the story but not to my character, and a “line” is something they don’t want in the story at all. I also make sure they know that these are changeable at any time, and that we can have open communication. A horror campaign is challenging because it should be uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t negatively influence a person’s mental health.
Other than those boundaries, I think the most important thing is having safe players. I don’t want any gay jokes, no way. No racist comments. In the world we create, I never want someone’s identity to be a problem (“Everyone in this town hates elves”) unless they specifically write it into their character’s backstory.
However, I don’t think that “safe” means “not dangerous.” Danger can be a part of safety. I am definitely willing to explore messy themes with my players; if they have a dark, twisted backstory and we’re both comfortable working with it, we will. I’m not The Great DM Therapist, but there should be space for the uncomfortable, yucky things in D&D. We need that. A lot of female and queer authors write a lot of really messed up stuff because they’ve been denied expressing it for so long. So many people have traumatic histories that they feel they can’t present to the world. If we bring some of that into D&D, maybe people can see that the trauma can be ugly, but that doesn’t mean that you’re ugly.
You have written a graphic novel called Fox on the Table: Broken Sun that became quite a hit. What did you learn from that experience?
I wanted to make something for the first group that I DMed for. I was in a really low place, and this was something I could latch on and escape to. Drawing it for them… their joy gave me joy. I made it for fun, but it was received voraciously; I went to shows and toured the US with it.
At those shows, I got to meet the community. There was a lot of queer trauma there, and people who were drawing that. The indie community is a really safe space for disability and queer people. It’s becoming weaponized, though. These safe spaces started as an escape, but now we’re being confined to those spaces, like we’re not allowed to ask for more. When you leave indie spaces, you’re shocked by how little safety is out there.
I don’t think the answer is to stay in safe spaces, though. They can be addictive and dangerous in their own right. A lot of the time, expectations in queer spaces are unreasonable. People want things to be unproblematic, but that isn’t possible. It’s like rules lawyering real life. Like we talked about before, we have to be more comfortable in the grey space.
Do you have any recommendations of queer nerdy content that you would like people to know about?
RCR Charity Event – I love that you’re supporting Rainbow Refugee. (RCR note: This feels self-serving to include, but we’re grateful for the shoutout!)
Thank you Milo! If anyone would like to check out his biomedical portfolio, look here.
Nate, how long have you been playing D&D? What has your experience in the TTRPG world been like?
It wasn’t that long ago; I got into my first D&D game at the end of August 2017. A close friend of ours (Nate’s partner is Cayla) started a game online. It was a learning curve figure out both Roll20 and the rules of D&D at the same time. In fact, we spent the first two sessions just figuring out our characters and Roll20. I really enjoyed the social aspect of it, but I didn’t really connect with the characters until the DM stepped down. I don’t want the game to go away, so I stepped in to DM – that was Christmas of 2017.
When I started DMing, I spent a month going through the DM’s Guide to learn about the barbarian, rogue, and ranger classes so I could flesh out the game to make my players feel like they were using their characters in a way that was meaningful to them. I think the hardest thing when I started was that at that point, we were running with three players and I was DMPCing. I can separate what my character does from me telling the story, but I’ve found that it’s hard as a DM to play a really fleshed out PC and DM at same time.
My favorite part of DMing is the ridiculous shenanigans that people throw at you. You have an idea of where you think the story might go, but it never happens. The plan never survives the first encounter. Now I am about 95% No Plan when it comes to DMing; I just have story beats that I want to hit to give them lore and get them involved in the world. I lay those out a bit in advance, but how they get there is up to them. Sometimes I will make up encounters for different scenarios, but most of the time I’ll make up encounters on the fly. If players show special interest in a particular aspect of the world, then I’ll plan ahead to give them the lore dump and a scenario for a certain area.
I understand that you have recently come out as bisexual. Have roleplaying games helped you explore or express your queer identity?
I don’t know. Honestly, probably not a whole lot. For a long time, I wasn’t verbally out, but I was never shy about my actions or how I treated my friends or what I said. A lot of people were like, “Yeah, that tracks” when I came out. A lot of the characters that I play are more fluid in what they’re open to. My first character was a bard, but there was no idea that they could have a romantic interest in the world. The character was ostracized from his family and trying to figure out where they fit into the world in general rather than pursuing a romance.
I tend to play females more often in games that give me the opportunity. In video games like Dragon Age, where the option to romance men and women is there, I’ll figure out which character is most interesting to me and I’ll romance them.
Who did you romance in Dragon Age?
I’ve only played Dragon Age: Inquisition, and I romanced Sera. At first, I couldn’t stand her character, but the more characters you add to your party, the more interesting her interactions become. Her character is similar to my D&D characters – pretty chaotic. When I realized that, I thought I’d give it a try to romance her! A lot of it is “What can we do to prank these people all of the time.” She’s not what you stereotypically expect an elf to be, which I like, and she had a fun story. She hides things because she feels like she doesn’t fit in anywhere; her attitude is “If I’m having fun, I don’t have to think about anything else!” Being able to draw that out of her was really satisfying.
You have told me a little about some creative and detailed worlds that you are building for D&D. What interests you most about the worldbuilding process? What part is the hardest?
When I build a world, it’s usually built around an event of some kind. The game that we’re playing now for DMTK, I built in 2018. It all started around a plague… Before that, everything in the Overworld was prosperous. There was peace, technology, and all sorts of things. Then a plague ravaged everything and everyone went underground. In the campaign, all of the players start in the Underdark, where there are huge mountains in a massively cavernous space, including an ocean with multiple coasts. The whole idea was that it’s been 200 years since everyone went Under. I want the characters to figure out what has happened to the Overworld, and will it be safe to go up and check it out?
I have a really hard time with continuity and figuring out what’s going on in the world when the players are doing one thing but there’s stuff happening elsewhere. I always have things going on in the back of my head about what’s going on on the other side of the continent, but I struggle with figuring out how do those move forward when players aren’t interacting with them.
I’ve recently tried to finish campaign 2 of Critical Role – I’m on episode 120. One of the really interesting things I’ve been trying to glean from Matt’s DMing (spoilers) happened when they all ended up back where Sam’s character lived with her husband and kid. The town was ravaged, and they were like “Oh, what happened?” and Matt responded, “If you decided to come back two weeks earlier, you might have been able to stop it.” Whoa!
Once, I had a group that talked their way out of a whole dungeon. The idea was that there was a sleeping dragon under the mountain that had been sleeping long enough that it was covered in rock. The kobolds who worshipped it built a temple around the dragon. My group went to the temple, got some lore, and said, “No, we don’t want to deal with this.” They handed over a bunch of really expensive spell components and magic items to the kobolds in return for the thing they were looking for in the temple. Instead of waking the dragon by taking the stone like I planned, the kobold shaman finished his ritual, absorbed the dragon, and turned into a giant kaiju. But the group just took off in their airship and said “Nope! Goodbye!”
What advice do you have for GMs who want to get better at worldbuilding?
The biggest thing is focus on a city or a place that is important to your world first, then figure out how that place interacts with other things. Think about how cities interact with each other. What does each city look like? Are there specific regions that people live within? Is it all just one area with self-governing cities? Then figure out the land around the cities and how the cities impact the land around them. How does trade work between cities that are more advanced with smaller communities that are less advanced?
What nerdy interests are you most excited about right now?
Up until a month ago, I was playing a lot of FF14, and I feel like I need to get back in, especially because a new expansion in November. I’m part of a ridiculous guild with a bunch of anime nerds that are on all of the time. They do a lot of events, like playing hide and seek every night.
I also really like anime; it’s my weekend guilty pleasure. I’m watching My Hero Academia right now, and one of my favorite shows is Restaurant to Another World. It’s about a Japanese café where every Saturday, a door shows up in the fantasy world side and wizards and dragon folk show up to this regular guy’s restaurant to eat.
Do you have any recommendations of queer nerdy content that you would like people to know about?
Ice Cream Dice – Marc is an absolute gem. He does great work, and has a lot of fun with his unique dice brand. Bonus points: he is Canadian and from Edmonton.
If people are interested in the weird shit people do – Cayla, Halli and I are going hard on The Human Exception podcast. This project has been a lot of fun, and we get into some really weird stuff. In one episode, we talk about Mount Rushmore and how behind Lincoln’s head there is a time capsule with a tunnel and everything. We also cover the weird conspiracy theories that people have about the place. Our second episode might be more interesting to Roar Cat Reads readers – we talk about the origins of the word “homosexual” in the Bible. Eventually, there will be episodes coming about how I was raised, so stay tuned!
Thank you, Nate!
Are you an Adventure Queer? Do you love to play D&D? Email us at roarcatreads@gmail.com to let us know you would like to be interviewed!
Nicholas Turcan (he/him), is a professional quilter who owns Mystery Stitch Design on Granville Island.
How did you become a professional quilter?
It was serendipity. When I came from Manitoba to Vancouver and moved in with my partner Trevor, it was rainy and miserable that first winter. We had two little blankets and needed something bigger to cuddle under. I watched a YouTube tutorial on how to quilt and fell in love. I loved every step of the process: the math skills, the precision, the meticulousness.
When I became a professional quilter, I started by providing quilting services for other quilters; they would piece together a quilt top and I would stitch through the top, batting, and backing to create a finished quilt. Eventually I bought a longarm quilting machine, which can create things more beautiful than what is manageable on a domestic machine. It’s unwieldy to sew through multiple layers on a sewing machine. Straight line quilting is manageable, but anything with more fanciful designs is very difficult.
How many quilts would you say you’ve made?
I’ve lost track! In the first year when it was just a hobby, I made 12 quilts. Before the longarm machine, when I was just making personal quilts, it was upwards of 100. Professionally, I’ve made 1500 or more.
The length of time varies on the pattern and size of quilt. For a baby quilt, it takes about 45 minutes. More complicated quilts can take multiple 8-hour days.
I’m happy to say that most of my customers come back a second time or more. In fact, I would say 90% of people who come to me are repeat customers. Of course, sometimes there is a 1-3 year gap between their first and second quilt. Some people bring in 6-12 quilts per year, but most people finish 1-2 quilts per year with me.
What do you enjoy most about your job?
The creativity; I know what it takes to make a quilt sing. Half of my customers don’t know what they want. They bring the quilt and say, “I trust your judgment.” I have to think about finding the correct theme, the scale of design, the texture and the right thread colour. It’s a lot of pressure. They’ve already invested a lot of time and money in piecing the top before they hand it off to me. It’s like asking someone to finish the last 10% of a painting you’ve spent time and love on.
A lot of people don’t realize how diverse quilting can be. Quilts can be anything you want, as simple or intricate as you can imagine. I have seen silk quilts with over 1,000 pieces in a 14 inch square. It’s a work of art. On the opposite end of things, you can also make a queen-size quilt with one piece of fabric – it’s the quilting itself that matters. There is an unimaginable combination of things in between with thousands of techniques like hand paint, hand dye, appliqué, hand piecing, and more.
Before the pandemic, you traveled for speaking engagements at quilting guilds. What was that like?
When I speak at a guild, they want to hear my story; how I got into quilting and what inspires me. I usually take twenty or so of my quilts to show work spanning my career. I also travel to teach free-motion quilting. Even though I have a longarm machine, you can teach the same techniques on a regular size sewing machine. At a class, there are things you can do that you’re afraid to try on your own. People want to try, but they need permission to make mistakes. I teach them how to either fix or hide their mistakes.
You started renting retail space on Granville Island recently. How are you enjoying being a small business owner?
I bought my longarm seven years ago. For the first year, I didn’t do any customer work on it. When I started quilting professionally, I kept a part time job because I kept worrying: What if I hit a dry spell? What if I don’t have enough customers? Then I was laid off because of the pandemic, and I saw it as an opportunity. I took the gamble to be a full-time professional quilter. It really took off; I flourished.
In January 2021, I found out about some available retail space, and I thought, “Oh my gosh, this is my dream.” I took the chance, and moved operations out of my West End apartment into a wonderful retail space on Granville Island. I still struggle with what I want it to be; originally it functioned as a studio space where I could expand into new techniques with a door open to the public so they can ask questions and talk to me. Now I’m expanding in a couple new directions.
What has your experience been as a queer quilter/ business owner in Vancouver?
I’ve only been a business owner for the last six months, and in that time, I have only felt supported by the other business owners on Granville Island. I think they just see a young, ambitious person who wants to be successful.
As a queer quilter, I have met some wonderful queer people without a community who want to carve out space for other queer crafters. It’s not always easy. The quilting community is dominated by a certain sort of population, and being a man (gay or straight) in these spaces comes with a set of challenges. On the positive side, you stand out, so it’s easier to get noticed and get famous. However, you also get judged as being not technically capable because people assume you’re there because of your token status. That is very frustrating. I’ve been dismissed when walking into a quilt store and an employee asks, “Are you lost? Are you here to buy something for your mom?”
When I’m at guild talks and quilt shows, I always tell my origin story. When I say, “my partner, he,” some people flinch, turn away, or dismiss me. Then I know that there are some homophobes in the crowd. I’ve never felt severely put down or harrassed, but I have felt that icy coldness. I’m equipped to deal with that, because I know there are going to be those people no matter where you go. Still, it’s disheartening, because you know…there are going to be those people no matter where you go.
What is next for Mystery Stitch Designs?
When I first took this space, I moved in to use it as a studio. Now that I’ve been there for a while, I realize I have the potential to do whatever I want. I struggle to know exactly what that is, but every day I see that potential changing and growing. I have started to sell readymade items, including Mini Monstrosities from Roar Cat Reads. I am also transforming it into a classroom so it will be a social environment to learn, buy, and socialize. I’m currently developing the schedules, so check my website for updates. I will likely have beginner sewing and beginner quilting classes, as well as a more advanced freeform quilting class. I will have a couple machines available to rent; otherwise, people can bring their own machine, and I will show you what it is capable of!
I want my store to be a safe space for crafty people. I want people like me to feel comfortable there. I started quilting as a 24 year old gay man; I am not a stereotypical quilter. If I can make a safe space for someone else who feel like they don’t fit in to traditional quilting/crafting community, I will be happy.
Follow Nicholas and Mystery Stitch Designs on Instagram @MysteryStitchDesigns and check his website for updates on class information! Reach out with any questions to nicholas@mysterystitch.com.
My name is Sean Hagen (he/him), co-host of DMs of Vancouver with Jessy Boros (he/him). I’ve been playing video games almost my entire life, and only somewhat recently got into tabletop RPGs via D&D 5th Edition. Since then I’ve played a whole bunch of games and have plans to play a whole bunch more. You can find me online on Twitter at @seanphagen, Instagram at @seanpatrickhagen, or on my website https://seanhagen.ca !
As one of the hosts of the podcast DMs of Vancouver, you have interviewed a lot of D&D players and DMs. How has your experience of D&D changed as a result of the podcast?
It’s been eye-opening for sure. I think the biggest thing has been realizing that everyone comes to the table for a different reason, and that as a DM you’ve got to be open to that. Some players are there to be social with friends, some are there for story, one of a thousand other reasons, or even a mix of reasons! I think that’s definitely part of the anxiety new DMs feel, wondering how they could possibly run a game that makes all their players happy. What I’ve learned while doing the podcast is that all you can do is be open and honest with your players about what kind of game you want to run, and to ask for honest feedback that you incorporate into your game. There are things you can do ( like running a session zero and using the safety toolkit ) to ensure that everyone is on the same page and having as much of a good time as possible.
Everyone coming to the table with a different set of purposes and experiences is great, because you can run a really fun game that is utterly unique to your table, and that’s mind blowingly awesome to me. Getting to tell an epic story of a group of adventurers facing down death & danger as they go about saving folks sounds like an awesome way to spend time with friends. The downside is that sometimes trying to relate stories of your awesome game to friends or family feels like trying to explain a dream, but that’s a price worth paying, I think!
Also, as a DM I’ve learned that not only is it okay to have parts of the game that excite you more than others, that’s great! For example, the recommended wisdom for new DMs is to start small, maybe only build a town or small province to run a homebrew game in. When building the world for my first homebrew game I went down a rabbit hole of map making and history building. I surfaced after a week with a binder of maps and tables and a calendar with major celestial events to use when running the game. I put, honestly, probably too much work into that binder.
I felt kind of foolish after putting in all that work into building this world, but soon realized that it had an awesome side benefit: I could ad-lib bits of history and art with total confidence, because I had already sketched out so much that I had a whole world inside my head I could draw upon. I ad-libbed all the descriptions for the statues and mosaics in a dwarven tomb because I knew their history and major events (and how dwarves in that world tended to hugely exaggerate their stories, good and bad parts alike). I was able to foreshadow an upcoming plot point as part of a mosaic because I had all that info in my head, waiting to be put to use. I don’t think I’d go that in-depth again in the future, but if I do I know not to worry about it.
We’ve talked to so many DMs with different jobs and experiences and views on D&D – each of their games is going to be unique to that DM. So for any new DMs (or folks thinking of taking the plunge): don’t worry that your game is going to be different from what you’ve seen online or read about; that difference and uniqueness is why your players are going to love YOUR game!
You are a straight man, but you have included many LGBTQ+ people in your podcast and intentionally create safe and welcoming spaces. How did you cultivate this attitude and awareness?
Honestly it’s been on my mind since we started the podcast. In tabletop games, the voices of straight white dudes are kind of predominant. We’re assumed to be the default consumer for tabletop games in most circles. I’d bet that for the majority of people, if you asked them to picture a D&D player they’d probably imagine someone who looks something like me.
If there’s one thing I know from my day job as a programmer it’s this: having a diverse set of folks contributing to the thing you’re making can only make it better. As a straight white dude, I can do all of the reading, come up with checklists, and do my best to make something inclusive – but I’m going to mess up at some point. I’m going to forget something, or not notice something problematic simply because it’s not something I have to deal with as a straight white dude.
I see it all the time in programming; features that should have either never made it to market or been seriously re-worked got released because there were no women, BIPOC, queer, indigenous, or other marginalized voices on the team. There was nobody to point out that this feature would make it easier for an abuser to track someone down, or that feature would make it easier to out someone before they’re ready, and so on.
And the same thing goes for tabletop games. How long has D&D been able to get by with all of the racism baked in simply because they assumed the audience was straight white dudes who didn’t care?
So since we started the podcast, I’ve been doing what I can to educate myself. I keep an eye out for articles about problems like racial coding in D&D to learn about the problematic bits of the hobby and learn how to do better. I’ve also been looking for non-straight, non-white, non-male folks in the tabletop space on Twitter to follow so I can learn from them. I’m also just taking the time to analyze stuff I’m thinking about putting into a game to try and make sure I’m not leaning on problematic tropes.
It’s an ongoing process that requires ongoing work on my part. But it’s worth it! There are so many experiences and viewpoints out there, making the games we play more inclusive will only make them better. Also, there’s more than enough Western fantasy-inspired stuff out there, so getting more diverse folks creating in the tabletop space means more awesome stuff for me to check out. I’ve had more than enough of that in my life.
Give me more of the Afrofuturism from Black Panther. Show me a fantasy world built on the myths and traditions of an Asian culture, written by someone from that culture and not a white dude. Amaze me with a sci-fi world built by folks from South America. What does an urban fantasy game built by someone from India look like? There are so many rich myths and fantastic folklore traditions in the world — time to give them their chance to shine in the spotlight. And we’re starting to see some of that stuff coming out, too. I’ve got my eye on Thirsty Sword Lesbians, because that looks like a super fun game.
What advice do you have for other DMs about how to create safe spaces for queer players at their tables?
Whether you’re trying to make a space fun or safe, it all comes back to one thing: communication. Regardless of what system you’re running, the biggest piece of advice I can give is this: RUN A SESSION ZERO. Your first session should always be a Session Zero, no questions asked. Whether it’s your 500th game of D&D or your first game in a new system, running a session zero has so many benefits.
There’s all the basics of a session zero you’re probably aware of: agreeing on what kind of campaign you’re going to run, what kind of tone, how the party all know each other, and stuff the players would like to achieve ( “I want to earn the trust of a gryphon and learn to ride it!” ). It’s also a chance to go over more mundane stuff, like any house rules for critical successes or failures.
But beyond that, session zero is also where you lay the groundwork for creating a safe space for your players, queer or otherwise.
Lay out all the bits of the safety toolkit, and explain how they’ll be used. Go over stuff like the X card, lines & veils, and decide as a group on what kind of film rating you’re aiming for ( it’s a zany PG-13 adventure with swearing” VS “it’s an R rated horror film with vivid descriptions of body horror” ).
Let players know that if there are topics that should absolutely be avoided that they can say so now or send you an email or text. They don’t need to provide any kind of reason – and don’t ask for one, either. Also, their issue doesn’t have to be related to queerness or otherness. It’s a time for anybody to speak up about stuff you can do to make their experience at your table better.
For example, maybe you’ve got an arachnophobe in your group — so replace the giant spiders with giant snakes. Maybe you’ve got a player with auditory processing issues, so they’d prefer no loud music during battles. Another player might have PTSD from being in a war zone, so you know to try not to make any sudden loud noises without warning them. Anybody might have something that if encountered at the table will lead to a bad experience, and the session zero is your chance to become aware of all of those things so you can avoid them.
You shouldn’t be planning to jump into the campaign during session zero, so you’ve got time to make any tweaks or adjustments.
And yeah, it might take some work, especially if you’re running a module; but it’s worth doing because then you know you’re running a game where everybody at your table is having a fun time. I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to feel good about running a game when someone isn’t having any fun.
And when it comes to running games that deal directly with stuff like racism or sexism, or games where those play a major part? My suggestion is that unless a group of players come to you specifically wanting to play in a game that deals with that kind of stuff, maybe just leave that stuff out entirely.
Okay, so you want to know the best part about doing all this stuff, and doing it right? You don’t have to even know that one or more of your players is queer!
It’s kind of like having someone with undisclosed trauma or PTSD – someone can have something that will trigger them and lead to a real bad time, and it’s pretty easy to avoid those things if you put in literally the tiniest amount of effort.
I think that’s what I find so bizzare about the people who complain about safety tools and running a safe table for everyone. It’s not that much effort, and you get to know you’re running a game that everyone actually is enjoying! I don’t know about you, but I want folks to have a good time when they play at my table. It’d absolutely crush me to find out someone has been spending the last few sessions miserable because of something I said or did without thinking. So to know what stuff to avoid ahead of time means I’m more confident that I’m creating an experience everyone can enjoy.
Because I want to have fun when playing tabletop games, and for me to have fun everyone has to have fun.
Lastly: if you’re a straight white dude and this all sounds annoying, or like a lot of work, or wah wah I’m thin skinned and don’t like new things – either do the work or go back to your cave. I’ll be over here running awesome games with fantastic people and having the time of my life.
In general, what are some of your favorite tips and tricks that you use while DMing, either in the creation stage or while playing?
I think I fall more on the “improv” side of the DM spectrum, so my tips and tricks definitely revolve around prep.
Donjon is indispensable, whether you’re running D&D or not. It’s got generators for all sorts of things, including generating world maps.
Another great system-agnostic tool is RPG Cards. I used this to generate cards for any magic items I was planning to give out, as well as generating a bunch of cards for stuff like potions, scrolls, and whatnot. The Gale Force 9 spell & monster cards are great as well — I’ve got a full set of the base spell cards, which I hand out to my players so they’ve got an easier time referencing their spells than flipping through the Player’s Guide. The only downside is that the Gale Force 9 cards are not exactly cheap. Maybe suggest to your players a deck as a thank you gift after you run a great campaign for them?
Another great tool is RPG Tinker. I use it to generate “captain” NPCs – NPCs that have special abilities so that I can mix up combat a bit. Useful for friendly or enemy NPCs, or if you just need something more than a regular human as the boss of a gang or something.
Lastly, I think something that’s more advice than tip or trick: be aware of when you’re getting burnt out! As a DM, you’re going to have a lot on your plate; not to mention all the stuff from your life away from the table. If you find yourself not looking forward to playing, or find it impossible to get psyched about game night: take some time and examine why you’re feeling that way.
I got burnt out after switching to playing online (which happened before the pandemic, funnily enough). The reason was that due to a quirk of my brain, the maps that I would draw on the battle mat when we were all around the table just weren’t good enough and so I ended up spending hours trying to make maps to use in Roll20. All the extra effort ended up burning me out and I ended the campaign early. They beat the big bad, but rather than having to chase down the lich to find and destroy the phylactery, I just ended the campaign after the boss fight.
Now I know that if I’m going to run a game online it has to be entirely theatre of the mind, otherwise I’ll just get burnt out trying to produce assets for virtual tabletops like Roll20.
So keep an eye on how you’re feeling when you sit down to prep (or if you’re unable to even sit down to do prep!). Your players should be okay with you taking a week or two to recharge so that you can come back to the table full of vim and vigour. And to be frank, if you’re not happy running a game your players aren’t going to have fun playing in it.
I care about you, reader, and want you to enjoy running games; so take care of yourself! It’s important.
What can we expect from DMs of Vancouver in the future?
Good question!
I’m hoping to run a contest or two in the future. I’ve got some goodies from backing Kickstarters at a level where I’d get duplicates, specifically with the idea of giving them away to our listeners.
I’m also hoping that we can continue to showcase non-D&D games. At the start of 2021 we started doing reviews of non-D&D games, and it’s been a blast. I love getting to talk about other systems, and not because I’m bored of D&D. There are so many systems out there that are much better suited to different themes and play styles, so getting to explore those and tell our listeners about them has been a blast. I also have a bad habit of buying rule books before I even know if I’m going to run a game in that system, so I’ve now got an excuse to buy a few more rule books!
We’re also going to continue to do our best to lift up and showcase non-white, non-straight, non-male voices. Whenever I think about this topic, I keep coming back to the Issac Newton quote “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants”. I think it’s time for white folks (especially white dudes) to realize we’re the giants.
We need to lift up and champion the voices of folks not like ourselves – otherwise the hobby will just stagnate or regress. There’s so many folks out there with awesome ideas. Making the hobby more inclusive doesn’t mean less for us, it means more awesome for everyone! And the more diverse voices who engage with the hobby, the better and stronger our hobby will get.
Thanks so much for giving me some space on your site to blather on! And to you reader, I can’t think of any way to close this out than to do it the same way we close out our episodes of DMs of Vancouver: Hope to see you out there at the gaming table!
Thank you Sean! Everyone should give DMs of Vancouver a listen today.
Cayla (she/her) is a nerd of every flavor, including western comics, manga, video games and table top with a passion for cosplay, writing, world building and drawing.
Today she is a host, player and producer of multiple TTRPG podcasts and in involved in more games than she can count. You can find her on Twitter @veranox, read her webcomic Blackburn, and listen to The Human Exception podcast, where Nathan, Halli, and Cayla go on wild trips down the rabbit hole that is human history and the Internet.
Cayla, how long have you been playing D&D? What has your experience in the TTRPG world been like?
I started in my early teens, but it wasn’t something that really took over my life until the last five years when we began DM’s Test Kitchen. With the goal to try and play as many different TTRPGs as possible, it has really opened up the TTRPG world! We have met some truly amazing people (like Jessy!) because of this and for the most part my personal interactions have been very positive.
As a pansexual woman, have roleplaying games helped you explore or express your queer identity?:
I have always felt pretty comfortable being myself while gaming, but I think the thing that has made a difference for me is the community. There is a really large and compassionate community of queer folk that made me feel a lot more comfortable finding my place there. Being pan in a “hetero” relationship, it’s easy to not really feel like you’re part of the LGBT world or like an “imposter”. But the community is incredibly positive and encouraging of bi and pan individuals, and it really gave me more confidence as a queer.
From our conversations, it seems like you are intense in your love for nerdy hobbies. What does it take for a project to hook (and keep) your attention?
Well, I think a big part of my intense and multi-faceted nerdom can be traced back to my ADHD. I don’t know how to dip my toe in, I just go headfirst into pretty much anything that catches my passion. I think the thing at the core of all my projects/hobbies comes back to stories and storytelling.
When it comes to cosplay, I pick characters that I identify with or really love the stories of. “Recently” (aka the last costume I worked on pre-Covid) I made a costume that I have wanted to do for decades: Laurana from the novels and TTRPG setting Dragonlance. I grew up on those books and the story meant a lot to me. So yeah, my love for Dragonlance led me to do a 100+ hr cosplay build.
Even my comic Blackburn which I have been working on for 3 years now started with a single drawing. Whenever I draw I am telling a story to myself the entire time, and I decided to draw this punk drow character. As I was drawing, I asked myself why she was the way she was, what led her to be that way and what kind of world she lived in. In the end I wanted to find these answers out and that’s ultimately what led to Blackburn.
The main game I am running now, that I started like 2 years ago? Is a completely custom setting built from the ground up that all spawned from the phrase “feast or famine”. I was actually planning a one-shot for something else, when the phrase popped into my head and I couldn’t let it go and immediately wrote up an outline where I explored the idea of what a world controlled by this concept of feast or famine would look like. I came back with this idea of a world with only two seasons. Feast: Where everything was lush and grew wild, threatening to consume villages and Famine: where nothing grows and disease and monsters become a major threat. How do people live in a world like that? What does that look like? Why is it that way?
That’s pretty much a summary of how all my passions start, with a single idea that gets lodged in my ADHD-riddled brain that I can’t let go of. Just a spark for a story that I want to share or tell.
What nerdy interests are you most excited about right now?
My biggest focuses right now are my giant Pokémon cross-stitch that I showed you. The final canvas is probably going to be like 4’x7′ and will consist of all the sprites from Pokémon gen 1-5. I love Pokémon, have ever since I was a child. And ever since I learned to cross stitch as a child I entertained this idea of making a giant Pokémon tapestry, but never knew how I would do it. The idea showed up again a month or so ago when I saw an ad on Facebook where you could submit an image to a website and they would make you a custom cross stitch kit. I looked at all the options and wasn’t really satisfied with the services that were out there. I stumbled across a free online pattern generator that allows you to upload an image and it will make a pattern for you and provide you with a list of all the colors you would need. Well obviously I needed to do that, and pretty much ordered everything the same day.
I also kickstarted a Horizon Zero Dawn board a while back, and the last of the assets finally arrived, meaning I have dozens of minis to paint and I am so excited!
My other big project right now (that I guess isn’t really that nerdy?) has to do with our podcast HEX. Last year, Halli, one of our hosts did a story on Teal Swan, the online self-help guru and cult leader (and overall horrible person. This story and many of the attributes of Teal reminded me of a story I had read on reddit, known as the Final Fantasy 7 house. A harrowing tale of Icarus, a young trans man in college, who was struggling to figure out his identity and ended up meeting some people online that seemed to accept and love him for who he was and they bonded over a shared love of Final Fantasy 7. He would go to live with them over the summer only for him to realize he had joined a cult and he was forced to live in horrid conditions and serve their every whim.
So I put together my story and shared it on the podcast, but it drew me back in, and I began to dig deeper. Not only did I find out that this internet legend was actually a fairly accurate account of real events, I found that Icarus was far from the only survivor. I’ve talked to nearly a dozen survivors now, having tracked them down on the internet even having many come on the show (we have another interview coming out this week) giving them a chance to tell their story of survival and be more than just a victim of the woman that has been running this abusive scam since 2001 and may even be still active today.
It’s become a whole thing and a huge passion project for me, to find these survivors and give them a platform to speak out about what happened and a safe environment to do so, all with the hope that their story could maybe help someone else. All of the survivors I have spoken to are queer and the grand majority of them fall into the trans spectrum. They were targeted specifically because they were questioning and feeling alienated and unsure of themselves. It’s been absolutely inspiring to hear their stories and how they escaped and have grown into such amazing people (not that they weren’t to begin with). Being someone that is also an abuse survivor, it has been very healing for me.
Other than that, I continue to work on my Feast or Famine campaign and world building. We hope to make the campaign available as an actual play podcast in the future, and I look forward to sharing that world with the rest of the world.
What advice do you have for GMs who want to get better at worldbuilding?
It all comes back to stories. Everything you make should tell some sort of story: Do all your elves live under the ocean? Why? Have they always lived there? How do they live there? What do they eat? Sometimes the most seemingly boring questions can lead to some of the most delightful “discoveries.” One thing we had to consider for Feast or Famine is, how do you live 6 months when you can’t grow new food or breed livestock? Pickling and canning seemed like the obvious solution, but what if you wanted fresh meat? That’s how rock chickens were born.
I had this idea for chickens that came from the fireplane, whose eggs were like rocks, and wouldn’t hatch until they were put in fire, after which they would grow to maturity in a very short period. Meaning that you could have a store of rock chicken eggs that you can hatch at any time. When we were doing our session zero, I kind of threw the idea of rock chickens out there, and my players loved it, and now we’ve developed a whole thing around rock chickens. Like they taste like Louisiana hot chicken and different varieties have different flavors (even a cool ranch variety).
Which, on that note, don’t forget to bring your players in on some of the world building! It helps get them excited about the world, and bouncing ideas off each other helps develop them or come up with something you never would’ve thought of on your own! World building isn’t just about the DM. It’s easy to think of it as a solitary activity done in isolation, but a DM is only a narrator. The players are the characters, the ones that actually do things and shape the world.
There are also a ton of world building games that you can play as a group to help further develop your world. One thing we did was play a game of the Quiet Year (made by queer creator Avery Alder) to develop the town the players would start in. This led to the discovery of an underground city, a salt plague, a murder mystery and shadowy monsters that live on the edge of town. This also created a whole host of NPCs and a functional town, as the game asks you questions about how the town survives, what the dynamics are and challenges you to make decisions about the world functions.
Do you have any recommendations of queer nerdy content that you would like people to know about?
Oh man, do I! Halli (from HEX and a player in DMTK) just released her first book: Wilderwood. It follows three characters as they try to protect the small town of Wilderwood from mysterious forces. They are Octavia, the vampire baroness, who has watched over the town for centuries, Bellemy, the non-binary hunter and lover of Octavia that disappeared into the faelands 2 years ago and has suddenly returned mysteriously and Roderick, another hunter that has been drawn to town on a hunt avenge his fallen partner.
And I can’t mention Halli without mentioning her TTRPG stream Terrible Party where she and her queer cast play games, host charity streams and much more!
Thank you, Cayla!
Are you an Adventure Queer? Do you love to play D&D? Email us at roarcatreads@gmail.com to let us know you would like to be interviewed!
As a co-host of the podcast DMs of Vancouver, you have interviewed a lot of D&D players and DMs. Has your experience of D&D changed as a result of the podcast?
Yes, and for multiple reasons. Making the show and talking to people is a really valuable experience because you get to hear people talk about how they run a game. I always try to approach each episode with the perspective that there are very few wrong ways to run a game, other than “Don’t be terrible to your players” and “Don’t abuse your players.” I try to come in with an open mind. It helps that when we started the show, I really wanted to learn from people, both how to play and how to DM.
Of course, sometimes I learn useful skills from our guests that I would never want to put into practice. One of our guests (Jane Perella, episode here) is a school teacher who runs a D&D Club for fifteen children! I never want to do that exactly, but I still learned a lot from her. In fact, that’s one of my favorite episodes, and she is going to be on a follow up episode soon!
The other reason my experience of D&D has changed is because I’m on social media so much for the podcast. I keep track of the TTRPG Twitter sphere, and I see a lot of different generational differences. I once saw someone say, “If your DM ever says no to you, that’s bad.” I don’t agree with that, but I also tried to look at it, consider it, and figure out where they were coming from.
Are there any specific examples of things you’ve changed in your D&D style over time?
I learned to use online tools from Sean. Honestly, it’s hard to know how I’ve changed, because I don’t notice when it’s happening. I’m starting a new campaign after a long pandemic pause, so maybe I’ll notice that I’m a completely different DM because it’s been a while.
I do still think about something that Milo Applejohn said about representing neurodivergent characters in your games. They said to include those characters but don’t make that characteristic the whole character. Especially if you’re not a part of that group, make it a detail, but don’t play it a stereotype. Always keep in mind that people are much more than just being neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, etc.
You are a straight white cis man, but you have included many LGBTQ+ guests on DMs of Vancouver. I have been very impressed with how you intentionally create safe and welcoming spaces for queer people. How did you cultivate this attitude and awareness?
Honestly, when Sean and I interviewed our friends for early episodes, we sometimes didn’t know they were queer. As people come out as trans, I try to go back and change their dead names in the episode titles. I also became friends with people who are openly queer as my wife Haley and I became involved with the Vancouver comics community.
When it comes to creating a safe space, we really just want the podcast to be welcoming to everyone who isn’t a raging asshole. We are constantly trying to do better. For instance, during the Black Lives Matter movement, we took a look through our list of guests and realized that we don’t have many POC guests. We want to change that moving forward. It’s funny, when we mentioned this in an episode, someone messaged and asked if we were called out. We weren’t! I’m just on Twitter in leftist spaces, and I paid attention to the conversations people were having. It’s a joke that the old guard of D&D are all straight white cis guys. We are straight white cis men, but we always want to be improving.
What advice do you have for other DMs about how to create safe spaces for queer players at their tables?
I never want to do anything homophobic or transphobic anyway, and most of my regular players are queer. If I do something shitty, I hope that they’ll tell me, “That sucked. Don’t do that.” I think DMs should listen to their players, both verbally and nonverbally. Pay attention if they’re obviously uncomfortable. And if you’re a straight white cis guy, do your research! Find trans or queer creators and read and watch their stuff. People think it’s harder than it is. Just listen, learn, and try.
Specifically, I recommend Kienna Shaw and Lauren Bryant-Monk’s TTRPG Safety Toolkit.
In general, what are some of your favorite DM tips and tricks?
Like I mentioned earlier, I’m starting a new campaign. For the first time, I sat down with my players beforehand to create the world together. I gave them some general details and big picture stuff, but we made the setting as a group. That won’t work for everybody, but if you’re open, I think you should give it a try! You get some really interesting ideas.
Our campaign will be in a post-apocalyptic setting where magic faded with the advancement of technology, but that fell apart and now magic is re-emerging. It’s mostly a desert, but there is a single snowy mountain in the middle of it all. They really helped me put together a complex interesting world. Because it’s the desert, we decided most people would live underground, and someone had the idea that people would live in abandoned parking garages, with property divvied up by the lines there.
When we were creating together, there were a lot of moments when I was thinking, “I’m mad I didn’t think of that; that’s amazing!” I would have come up with something more like a stock fantasy town, and now it’s going to be way more interesting. Of course, I still have a lot of work to do to tie together some disparate ideas, but now my players are already invested in the campaign.
DM Advice from Jessy:
Talk to your players and ask if they’re enjoying the game. If no one is having fun, it’s okay to just stop the campaign! It sucks, but it’s better than dragging on too long. My first campaign ended with me being super burnt out and not wanting to play or DM again. That feeling ended pretty quickly, but there’s no need for it to get to that point.
If you hear an idea that everyone seems to use or love, but you don’t like it, don’t feel like you ought to. I don’t like critical fumble/hit tables, so I don’t use them.
If you are going to use homebrew rules, let your players know before you begin the session or campaign. If you make something up on the spot while playing, talk to the players to agree and then give everyone a grace period to get used to the new rule.
What can we expect from DMs of Vancouver in the future?
Our 100th episode will air in late October. We’re still deciding how we want to celebrate, so stay tuned!
As we move forward, one of the things we want to focus on is playing more games and reviewing them. It’s been a lot of fun when we’ve done it in the past, but they take a lot of work.
Recommendations:
Rolling with Rainbows is an actual play podcast by GM Sophie (Curio on YouTube) where they play a Call of Cthulhu TTRPG, and their episodes are only about an hour long.
Thank you for taking the time to share your stories with Roar Cat Reads, Jessy! Everyone should head over to DMs of Vancouver and check out their nearly 100 episodes.
Please welcome Chad Charest (he/him)! He is a geek of all types, master of none, and he is in the running to become World’s Coolest Uncle. You can hear more from him in his podcast interview with DMs of Vancouver, and stay tuned! He is writing an urban fantasy series; it will hopefully be on your bookshelf in the future.
Chad, when did you first play Dungeons and Dragons? What was the experience like?
My experience with roleplaying games actually started with MSN role play chat with friends. We made stuff up with no material or oversight, just one person acting as gamemaster and the rest of us reacting. When I was 12-13 years old, I would go to a local Chilliwack game store (now Bastion Games) to play Yu-Gi-Oh!. Another teenager invited me to play D&D, and actually, we still play together! For years, I was mostly playing with people older that me, usually with straight cis men. I would love to play with a more diverse group, but queer female nerds tend to live outside of Chilliwack.
Nowadays, I usually split my time between DMing and playing 50/50. DMing is more work, but I like trying to force people to role play. A normal group is very hack and slash based, so I will give them prompts during character creation to expand a little. The one I usually use is the prompt “You are lost, either physically, mentally, or emotionally. Why?” Then in a twelve-session campaign, each character gets three sessions of focus to find the thing that is lost.
As a player, my characters have changed a lot over time. I used to like paladins a lot, then I went through a charisma character phase. Right now I’m obsessed with intelligence based characters like wizards and artificers. I recently played gnome wizard inspector, and it was really fun.
I hear that you’ve introduced your nephews to D&D. How did that go?
Yeah, I recently taught my two nephews (aged 11) how to play D&D! The system allows for people to play at any age. Some handholding is necessary at first, and having an experienced player other than the DM at the table is helpful. But let them do what they want, and don’t guide them or be too helpful. Make suggestions and remind them what they’re capable of, but let them make decisions on their own.
When I was starting with my nephews, I gave them a walkthrough of every class and where they typically end up focusing, but I also gave them flexibility if they changed their minds. I think it’s also important to base the game on things they’re already interested in, like Minecraft. And sometimes it’s important to change how to play to fit their style. I usually play D&D with theater of the mind, but I bought them miniatures because I knew they’d love it. Now they’re playing by themselves, and they give me regular updates. I’m usually like, “That’s definitely not following the rules, but you’re having fun!” It feels so good to have passed this on to them.
How do you bring your asexual identity into D&D and roleplaying games? Has D&D played a part in exploring or understanding your sexuality?
Honestly, not really. I only figured out that I am asexual when I was 27 – about seven years ago. My D&D characters have just never been sexual, and usually I was playing with cis dudes who weren’t going to role play flirting with each other, and if they did romance an NPC, the scene would fade to back.
I love playing bards, but contrary to popular stereotypes, they don’t flirt. Instead, they’re cocky and fun, and they make great friendships with other characters.
What makes a D&D table a queer-friendly atmosphere to you?
I haven’t had much trouble with that. When I came out as asexual, my friends were accepting and it was fine – not a big deal. I do like to play with queer people; when I have it’s awesome. You get a lot less of the hack and slash role play, and you get diverse characters who care about more things and have more in-depth identities (though of course cis people sometimes do too). Izzy introduced non-binary characters into their campaign, and that was awesome. I want more of that! For now I seek out that representation and community in literature or TV shows.
What would you like to see done differently in D&D (either the culture surrounding the game or the mechanics of the game itself)?
Wizards of the Coast have made some good steps recently; Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything no longer forces stats based on race. We need more things like that! We should also moving away from stories based in imperialism and be more creative by telling different kinds of stories. I try to bring that into my campaigns when I can.
Are there TTRPG systems that you enjoy other other D&D? What are they, and what do you like about them?
I love Warhammer RPGs. It’s a well-established world. Even though it is very imperialistic, they’re fun! There is a wealth of history and lore that gives you a lot to work with, so you can lean away from imperialism and play from other alien species perspectives to get into more interesting content. Orcs grow from mushrooms, so let’s have asexual orcs!
I also like Clockwork and Chivalry. In fact, my queerest experience happened in that game…with non-queer people. There is a table you can roll to determine how you know the other characters. The one woman in the group was in love with my character, and everyone else was in love with another character. It led to this great scene where everyone spent the night sneaking to someone else’s tent, only to find it empty because the other person was sneaking off to someone else’s empty tent!
Of all the TTRPGs I’ve played, though, I think Rolemaster is my favorite. It is a little bit like D&D but it’s complex; there are 270 skills. In D&D, your characters are badasses too easily. In Rolemaster, you have to be really careful in combat situations. A group of goblins can take out a level 10 character if you aren’t strategic about your location or defenses.
Do you have any recommendations of asexual representation done well in a nerdy property (TV show, podcast, book)?
I actually got to sit on a panel at Emerald City Comic Con about asexual representation in media. We talked about Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman and Jughead from Archie comics. Often in media, male representation of asexuality leads to characters that are infantilized and treated like children. On the other hand, there is a lot of amazing female representation. There is a drama podcast called ARS Paradoxica with a lead who is asexual, and it’s the best time travel anything that I’ve ever experienced. Elizabeth Moon’s fantasy novel The Deed of Paksenarrion has a main character who doesn’t use the word “asexual” to describe herself, but she does talk about not being interested in sex or romance.
Thank you for coming on Roar Cat Reads to share your experience with us, Chad!
Are you an Adventure Queer? Do you love to play D&D? Email us at roarcatreads@gmail.com to let us know you would like to be interviewed!
Izzy Braumberger (they/them) is an armchair historian and philosopher as well as an avid player of TTRPG games and a developing system designer.
Izzy, you’ve been playing D&D for over 15 years, and during that time you’ve seen some of its limitations, like the way its mechanics and history create a colonialist focus on combat and looting. What keeps you playing the game despite this, and what kind of changes would you like to see to the system?
D&D is a very popular system with wide-spread appeal. I think that’s mostly because it has the crunchy mechanical stuff that people enjoy while also being loose enough to leave room for people to make it their own.
I find D&D to be very transactional and video game-like. The default is a system model that rewards the story “go out, find a problem, kill the problem, loot the room.” This model makes it easy to track people’s success and determine when and how they level up, but it’s also limiting and celebrates a particular kind of playing. Even in parties that try to value equality, the distribution of wealth and power still tends to be dependent upon who killed the most enemies.
I would like to see the system emphasize rewards based on nonviolent participation. I have seen other systems like Exalted create mechanics to track political and social relationships; it would be as if the bonds and relationships in D&D were put to mechanical use. Instead of always rewarding players with treasure, parties can be rewarded with allies and stronger relationships. This would create room for more kinds of stories and characters.
In a previous conversation, you mentioned that you’re a history nerd. Roleplaying games often take place in a liminal space between history and fantasy that is often defaults Eurocentric. What historical facts would you like to see acknowledged in D&D campaigns? What is your dream setting for a campaign?
When I GM, I like to throw in historical facts that have no societal baggage. I don’t want to bring up real world struggles, consciously or unconsciously, but adding little known details to the adventure can make the world feel richer. For instance, let’s say your party is traveling by wagon pulled by a team of oxen. I would include the fact that the one on the right has a two syllable name and the one on the left has a one syllable name – that way the oxen know which one is being talked to.
My dream campaign would be one that is so grounded in actual history that it seems alien to players. I would like to see a game set in pre-Enclosure England, when the structure of land use was centered on families, and there was no concept of “going to work” because you worked where you lived.
D&D isn’t very accurate, really. The typical tavern/inn that parties go to would have looked very different historically! There weren’t rooms or subdivided spaces, because there was no way to heat everything. There also weren’t roaring fires, because fireplaces didn’t exist until much later than most people think. Privacy was not a thing until very recently. Even royal houses were just a line of rooms that people had to walk through; hallways weren’t common for most of history. Industrialization changed everything worldwide, so setting an adventure before then would be my preference.
Roleplaying in D&D provides the opportunity to explore your identity in myriad ways. For queer people, this can be a really liberating experience. How have you been able to explore your identity through D&D?
I have found that role playing games are a wonderful mirror to hold up so that you can figure out what sort of person you would be if you could be anyone. You get to be any kind of person you want and experience how it feels when people react to you in this different way. Self-exploration is expected in these spaces. You can be the manliest man who plays a 4’2″ elf with a high-pitched voice who flirts with guys. No one automatically assumes that’s what you’re into in real life – it’s play. And play is a valuable teaching space.
For the longest time, I thought it was just play, and I didn’t really take to heart what I was experiencing. I knew I felt free, happy, and more myself, but I didn’t quite get what was going on. It took me time to piece together disparate behaviors and thoughts to figure out what made me feel happy and comfortable. Really, embracing my trans identity was about finding comfort. There were both disphoric and euphoric elements to finding out what I do and don’t like – all together it paints a picture to your route toward happiness. I asked myself a lot of questions: Can I live with this? What do I need to change or give up? What is the fluctuating baseline that I want to rest at?
The valuable thing about role playing games is that you don’t have to wrestle with all of these variable judgments all the time. I don’t actually play non-binary characters very often. I lean into masculine characters because I don’t get to be that in real life. It’s an interplay of wish fulfillment and that mirror to see who you could be. I’ll be honest, I’ve used some DMs as therapists over the years – it’s always a bad idea, but we do it anyway!
Self-exploration is a vulnerable process. In your experience, what makes a D&D group safe to explore or live out your queerness?
When you play a roleplaying game with people, you enter a social contract to be cool with whoever your party members are. A good DM will stop people from imposing their will or view of your character on you. If someone says, “Why are you flirting with that girl? You said your character was gay,” a DM should guard and support nuance. Don’t let people police people’s expressions of sexuality or gender identity.
I think it’s most important to show enthusiasm for people who are exploring new things. Show active positivity, ask questions with the desire to know more rather than judge. Focus on understanding people, not being disappointed or uninterested in what they’re doing.
When DMing a game, it can sometimes be hard to fight the cisheteronormative culture in which we were raised and populate the world with diverse NPCs. How do you prioritize representation of trans people in D&D? What tips do you have to convey the complications of gender identity in role playing games?
Exploring gender identity is an in depth, nuanced process, and this doesn’t translate to D&D very well if NPCs aren’t given the space or time to explore that nuance (and most of the time NPCs are one and done). When introducing characters, it’s easy to rely on shorthand descriptions to indicate trans people, and that usually means perpetuating potentially harmful stereotypes. The easiest thing to do is to make these NPCs central characters that are returned to throughout the campaign. You can have more meaningful representation when players are emotionally invested in characters and want to learn more about them. That’s when you can have those more nuanced conversations and experiences over multiple interactions.
Introducing MtF or FtM characters into your campaign can be tricky. How do you alert characters to the NPC’s trans identity without some kind of gross skill check that amounts to “You can tell this character is trans”? In a campaign that I’m playing in, the DM took us into an NPC’s memories, where we saw her experiencing abuse as a child for being trans. It was such a smart way to reveal this fact about an NPC we all really cared about!
I personally have no problem with straight cis GMs role playing trans characters, so long as they aren’t fetishizing anyone or perpetuating harmful stereotypes. At the stage we’re in culturally, visibility is really important, and it’s a great opportunity to practice they/them pronouns and get in the headspace of people who have had different experiences from you. Having diverse characters can also help communities surrounding property more inclusive.
Are there any resources you recommend for players or GMs who want to work to create a safer, more inclusive gaming table?
In general, I recommend you look into TTRPG horror games. Horror has a unique contract regarding the creation of a safe space at the table. You have to lay everything on the table beforehand – your fears, your expectations, your limits – so that you can create a safety system, and you’re expected to check in after the session to make sure people are okay. There is an overlap with the BDSM community, actually. Playing horror games helped me learn how to engage with other people more sensitively, which I think transfers to all kinds of games.
Specifically, I want to recommend the podcast DMs of Vancouver. They intentionally interview diverse guests and value showcasing a variety of perspectives. [Note: Izzy was a guest on DMs of Vancouver. Check out their episode here!]
Roar Cat Reads is a blog for queer nerdy content. What is something queer and nerdy that you would like readers to know about?
League of Ultimate Questing – an amazing podcast with a pretty diverse cast of characters. They do a great job of normalizing inclusivity.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – the mechanics of the world support the gender identity of the character Theo in some really cool ways.
Philosophy Tube – the trans host of this YouTube channel has one of the best coming out videos I’ve seen.
Inn Between – another podcast with great representation AND one of the most interesting handlings of a body swap episode I’ve ever encountered!
Thank you for spending some time with us at Roar Cat Reads, Izzy! If anyone would like engage in more of their content, you can check out their episode on DMs of Vancouver. And stay posted! They’re in the early stages of an actual play project that we can’t wait to learn more about.
Victoria Fraser (she/her) is a freelance writer and podcaster. She has worked on several podcasts, most notably Boardgame B*tch where she reviews board games and has all sorts of fun board game badassery.
I recently had the privilege to be a guest on Boardgame B*tch to discuss one of my favorite table top games: Wingspan! Check out the episode now on the Podcast delivery site of your choice: Apple | Spotify | Google Podcast.I wanted to get to know Victoria a little more, and she kindly agreed to chat with me about her history playing games and some recommendations of board games that I’m eager to try out!
Victoria, you host the podcast Boardgame B*tch where you discuss the rules and playability of table top board games. What prompted you to create Boardgame B*tch?
I got into podcasting during university through the UBC Creative Writing program. We had to focus on three different genres; although I mostly took classes in children’s writing, comics, and poetry, during the last semester I took a podcasting class. Honestly, I hadn’t really listened to a podcast before that class! I knew about radio plays and radio dramas, though, so I thought it would be fun.
That class made me fall in love with podcasts! My classmates recommended some of their favorites, like “Spirits,” “Serial,” and “The Adventure Zone.” We had to make practice podcasts for school, which made me want to start a podcast of my own. From the very beginning, I wanted to host a podcast about board games because they’re one of my favorite things to talk about. But it wasn’t the right timing at that point. Instead, two years ago, my friend Allie and I startedI Like Your Dress where we reviewed Vancouver-based restaurants, festivals, and other things. That’s how I became connected to the Cave Goblin Network.
A year ago I started freelancing and focusing on my business, and that left less time for our podcast. I stepped away, but couldn’t stop dreaming about that original idea of a board game podcast. When my life felt a little more balanced, I decided to give it a try. Boardgame B*tch was on Patreon for a few months before going fully live in April 2021, and I’ve just started my second season!
It sounds like board games have been important to you for a long time. What is your history with board games?
I like to say I’m a third generation gamer! My grandmother played bridge, and my mom loves playing games. In fact, she bought a bunch of D&D books in the 80s but couldn’t find anyone to play with. I taught her how to play a couple years ago as a Mother’s Day present! I grew up playing cards, poker, board games, and Euro games with my family all the time. I have a picture of myself when I’m 2 or 3, and I’m rolling dice, looking super fucking pumped; I still play “Dice” (a simplified version of Yahtzee) with my family. Every Christmas we all get board games as gifts and then we spend Boxing Day playing them.
That’s amazing! And what would you say is your favorite board game currently?
I’m glad you said “currently”! It changes all the time, but right now I would say Tokaido. It’s this great game set in Japan where players are tourists traveling the Tokaido road taking pictures and buying souvenirs. It’s a very peaceful board game that is artistically very lovely and has cool mechanics and movements.
I also love party games! Even if they’re mechanically simple, they’re so much fun socially. Rules are great, and I love a complicated game, but sometime you just want some quick fun with your friends. I especially loveSuperfight, a game where you create fighters in a ring with weird traits and Cult Following, where you’re all cult leaders trying to start a cult. You have to create a story and recruit more players to join your cult than someone else’s.
I have not heard of any of those, but I’m definitely going to check them out! If someone wants to get into the world of board games and table top games, what are 2-3 options you would suggest as starter games?
I think it’s important to introduce people to games with something simple and fun. You want a little bit of complexity, but not too much!
Citadels. It’s an easily transportable card game that only takes about an hour to finish, and it doesn’t take up much space. It’s a game with a lot of player interaction, and it’s set in a Medieval setting, so people can easily latch on to that. It’s not new, but it holds up!
Betrayal at the House on the Hill. This is a game that is good for storytelling. It’s one of the best co-op games, so it’s great for people who are learning and want to work together. It’s a good middle game – not so complex that it’s impossible, but it’s not so easy that it’s boring.
King of Tokyo. This is a dice game that is pretty simple but gets more complicated with expansions, which makes it great to slowly build up for people.
I love all of your recommendations! If someone wants to hear more of your thoughts on board games, which podcast episode would you suggest people start with if they want to start listening to Boardgame B*tch (other than my episode on Wingspan, obviously)?
I really love the “Hive” episode. It’s a two player game, and my guest and I had a really fun conversation goofing off and talking about bugs. Otherwise, scroll through the options and choose the one that resonates with you!
What can we expect to see from Boardgame B*tch in the future?
When I first launched my podcast, it was a solo show. Now I am focusing on board game interviews and board game conversations with guests. I’m branching out a beyond just reviews to have episode about things like board game design and D&D etiquette. I would also like to someday do episodes about conventions outside of Vancouver!
One last question: Roar Cat Reads is a blog for queer, nerdy content. What’s your favorite nerdy book of the moment?
Welcome to Mina’s: A Diner Comic Anthology by Cloudscape Comics. It’s a Kickstarter project that I backed because I know Haley Boros, one of the creators, and the premise sounds really cool. It takes place over time but always centered on the same diner in Vancouver. A couple of the chapters focus on queer couples!
I also really like Sidequesting, a fantasy podcast about avoiding the main plot. It’s not queer, I don’t think, but it is very nerdy and fun.
Thank you so much for talking board games with me, Victoria!
If you would like to see more of what Victoria is up to, check out her Bio and her Podcast. Listen, subscribe, and share it with a friend!
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