Author: Trish

  • The House in the Cerulean Sea by T. J. Klune

    The House in the Cerulean Sea by T. J. Klune

    A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret.

    Linus Baker leads a quiet, solitary life. At forty, he lives in a tiny house with a devious cat and his old records. As a Case Worker at the Department in Charge Of Magical Youth, he spends his days overseeing the well-being of children in government-sanctioned orphanages.

    When Linus is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management he’s given a curious and highly classified assignment: travel to Marsyas Island Orphanage, where six dangerous children reside: a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, an unidentifiable green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist. Linus must set aside his fears and determine whether or not they’re likely to bring about the end of days.

    But the children aren’t the only secret the island keeps. Their caretaker is the charming and enigmatic Arthur Parnassus, who will do anything to keep his wards safe. As Arthur and Linus grow closer, long-held secrets are exposed, and Linus must make a choice: destroy a home or watch the world burn.

    An enchanting story, masterfully told, The House in the Cerulean Sea is about the profound experience of discovering an unlikely family in an unexpected place—and realizing that family is yours.

    Goodreads

    Sometimes the hardest reviews to write are the ones for books we love the most. How am I supposed to write about The House in the Cerulean Sea without simply shaking the imagined book in your face and screaming, “READ IT!”

    Book shaking aside, I adored this fantasy novel about a world of rules and regulations that suppresses magical beings “for their own good” while maintaining a status quo of normalcy and “safety.” So many finger quotes! Linus is a man who works as a caseworker to ensure that orphanages for magical children are run properly. He genuinely cares about the safety of the kids, but he fails to question the system in which he works to determine if his actions actually help the children in the long run. After all, he is fond of safety and security and routine.

    It isn’t until Linus is thrust out of his bubble and assigned a month-long work assignment at an orphanage by the ocean that his perspective broadens and his heart expands. And whose heart wouldn’t?? This orphanage is home to some of the cutest lil creatures in the whole world – there’s the actual Antichrist, who enjoys both threatening visitors and singing in the kitchen. There’s Theodore, a wyvern who collects buttons and stole my heart. There are also tentacled beings who dream of being a bellhop when they grow up, and were-Pomeranian who has been shuffled from orphanage to orphanage, a female gnome with a proclivity for threatening people with her garden tools, and a forest sprite who didn’t get enough page time. I am amazed at Klune’s ability to write devilish children who are mischievous and loveable and scared.

    For a book that is centred around a pretty cute plot (stodgy man learns to love children), it has some pretty salient messages about cultural change. It isn’t enough for Linus to change his opinion – he must take his new perspective to the beachside village that fears the children as well as to his workplace, where he must defend the existence of the orphanage to the authority figures who once made him quake with fear. It isn’t enough to change ourselves; we must do our part to change the system, if we can.

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    Most obviously, there is a gay love story! Linus is an out gay man who is annoyed at how attractive he finds the man who runs the orphanage. It isn’t much of a spoiler to say their attraction to each other plays a significant part of the story, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how quietly revolutionary it felt to tell a story about young children watching and celebrating two adult men fall in love.

    But more than the love story between two men, the whole plot is a queer analogy. For most of history, queer folx were pushed to the margins (if they were allowed to exist at all) , out of sight of those who might be made uncomfortable by them. This was ostensibly for their safety, whether that meant the safety of their eternal souls or their physical safety (“Don’t kiss in public, someone might attack you” rather than “Don’t attack people for showing affection in public”). Change occurs when people allow themselves to be in a relationship with those who are queer/magical. It takes time to get past the hardened exterior of those who have been shunned by society, but if you take the time, you might be surprised to find a big ol’ softie underneath. That’s what Linus learned, and I hope the readers of his story learn the same.

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    at Reads’ discord!

  • Living with Celiac Disease in Vancouver, BC

    Living with Celiac Disease in Vancouver, BC

    May is Celiac Awareness Month, and my good friend Arica Sharma is an advocate who supports Celiacs with resources and educates non-Celiacs like me in how to be good allies. If you have Celiac Disease or know someone who does, I think you will find this interview with Arica illuminating!


    What is a day in the life like for you as you live with Celiac Disease?

    What’s a day like for you? Ha ha, if I’m honest, my day regarding food is the same as anyone’s day regarding food! You figure, what am I going to eat? What’s at home? If I go grocery shopping, then I can eat at home! What are my options around town? There’s an App for that – findmeglutenfree.com because I try my best to get take-out from kitchens that have dedicated GF prep stations. 

    I think what makes a Celiac’s day a hurdle most is on a social level. When you’re hanging out with others who are also hungry, one person can suggest pizza, and it’s a sure winner. But I’ll stand there with an immediate checklist in my head:

    • Will they have GF dough? Totally possible!
    • Will they have a dedicated GF kitchen? Unlikely. 
    • Will they maybe have a section and tools for GF food prep? Totally possible!
    • Will they use the same oven? Oh – I’ll have to ask that too. 
    • Will they know which sauces, marinades, dips, and ingredients have gluten as filler or thickener? Ah man, they’re gonna hate talking to me. 
    • Anxiety!
    • There will definitely be a salad. With no croutons, or dressing. 

    Meanwhile, other suggestions are thrown about, and eventually all eyes will rest on me, and someone will say, “Arica should pick!” Newly diagnosed Arica would have told everyone to eat what they want, and that she would be fine. Today, I much prefer to have others BEND TO MY WILL and we all try something new!

    What is something you wish more people knew about Celiac Disease?

    It’s not an allergy! 

    An auto immune disorder is the body attacking a part of itself. Just like with diabetes where the pancreas is affected, or rheumatoid arthritis that attacks joints, or Lupus attacking almost everything, in Celiac Disease the intestines are attacked. And like all of the above, if left untreated it leads to a host of other issues. 

    That’s why labelling is so important! Wheat is a common allergen, that’s why you see so many “may contain wheat” statements. That’s the company choosing to let you know that there isn’t a wheat free environment. That’s also why sometimes it’ll say “may contain wheat and gluten” in the same line, even if all the ingredients are gluten free. I really appreciate a company that takes the time to let me know my health matters to them, not just my money!

    Tell us a little about your role with Canadian Celiac Association British Columbia.  How did you become connected with the organization?

    Raising awareness and funds for research to support the charity is a personal priority for me. I’m a talker and have zero hesitation discussing Celiac Disease with anyone who will listen! 

    Right now I am the co-editor of our newsletter, which has a range of Celiac related reading from medical research, interviews, first-person articles, how-to, and of course, recipes.

    I was lucky enough to have worked at the last GF Expo in 2020, interacting with people who are newly diagnosed, as well as those with over 50 years of Celiac experience. It was an absolute life changer. 

    Having been told to “Never eat lunch alone,” I ventured to the kitchen at work and met Cynthia, who happens to be on the BC Chapter Board! Guess what magic happened next?

    What resources does CCABC offer to those with Celiac Disease?

    Our website and socials offer a host of resources! From safe places to eat in BC, FAQs, how-to tax deductions, and education for newly diagnosed folks. And of course recipes. 

    What is your favorite gluten-free restaurant in Vancouver?

    I eat at Nuba a lot. 

    What do you wish you saw more of in restaurants in Vancouver?

    A minimum standard of education would be great at restaurants. It would be a dream come true for all restaurants to know what Gluten is because they have to. For now, you can get certified if you want to here: https://www.brcgs.com/

    How can people support CCABC and their friends or family members with Celiac Disease?

    Advocacy is so important! Taking a slight interest in others can go such a long way! Like with any issue that affects a large population, it’s important to inform yourself. Use #ItsNotPretend throughout the month of May for Celiac Awareness! Spread the word, learn what others have to say, and try GF recipes for yourself at home because why not add a variety of flours and grains to your diet? Order the GF option at your local café, try the new gluten free bakery nearby. Every time you make a conscious effort to eat GF you help a Celiac!

    Roar Cat Reads is a blog for queer, nerdy content.  What’s your favorite nerdy book at the moment?

    I am reading Eisenhorn by Dan Abnett right now! It’s a Warhammer 40,000 classic, and I’m totally digging it. Humankind hangs in the balance! Space, guns, heretics, alien conspiracies…. There’s talk of a TV show which could be pretty fabulous. 

    What social media or events would you like to plug?

    May is Celiac Awareness Month, and we have weekly contests! I have been reaching out to local businesses and communities to raise awareness and increase participation. For example, there’s this great Queer Blog that is going to feature an interview about Celiac Disease! 

    June to July is our Marathon, so if you’re feeling like donating, or doing a marathon, do it with us!  

    @celiac_bc for IG and twitter, @celiac.bc for tiktok! 

  • 5 LGBTQ+ Book Characters I Want in My D&D Party

    5 LGBTQ+ Book Characters I Want in My D&D Party

    You’re walking down a forest road when you’re beset upon by goblins! Quick, grab your queer books – it’s time to choose your party!

    The first person I knew I wanted in my Queer D&D Party is Harrowhark Nonagesimus from The Locked Tomb series (Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth) by Tamsyn Muir. What can I say? I’m attracted to raw power, high intelligence, and low charisma. I would sort Harrow as a Chaotic Neutral Warlock – she doesn’t care about following the rules, and I cannot in good conscious claim her to be either good or evil. Instead, she is concerned about doing right by those she cares about (barely), and hang the rest. As for the Warlock bit, she’s clearly a magic user. I think the pact her parents made to kill 200 children to give her power aligns nicely with a warlock’s pack with an otherworldly being. And are you kidding me with her necromantic powers – who needs Turn Undead with Harrow around?

    Every necromancer needs a cavalier, and I wanted a physical fighter to balance her magic. The easy answer would be Gideon herself, but that felt like cheating! Instead, I went with Murderbot from The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells. Murderbot skews far more science fiction than most D&D campaigns, but I don’t care! I want them on my team, and I trust them to be able to adjust to a new setting with aplomb (and complaints). I think Murderbot would be a Neutral Good Fighter. They’re clearly not lawful because they hacked their governor module and lied about being a free agent. But they’re not really chaotic either; Murderbot just wants to keep its humans safe and watch its shows. And I think they would be a fighter because they’re not really anything else – I can’t see Murderbot as a Barbarian or a Ranger. MAYBE a Monk with its super speed Flurry of Blows, but still. I think fighter best sums up Murderbot’s skills.

    One giant problem with my first two choices is the fact that they are extremely anti-social. We need some charisma in this party! And who is more charismatic than a Bard? Enter Tam Hashford from Bloody Rose by Nicholas Eames. She’s new to adventuring, but eager to fit in and earn her keep. She’s used to being around hardened mercenaries, so I don’t think she would be too bothered by Harrow and Murderbot. She could do the talking (and raise a bit of money for the group with a song) when the stumble into a town and need a place to stay.

    There’s a lot of chaos in this group, so I think we need someone with a strong moral compass to guide our group. Since Murderbot is constantly getting a little bit exploded, I want to add Jane Hodgson from Alice Payne Arrives and Alice Payne Rides by Kate Heartfield to the group. Her 1789 scientific and mechanical skills seem like a good fit for a D&D setting, so I would cast her as a Lawful Good Artificer. Usually left behind by Alice, I think it’s time for Jane to have some of her own adventures. And we someone in this party to see the wounded

    To round everything off, I can’t resist adding Jam from Pet by Akwaeke Emezi. She’s got the heart of a Lawfully Good Paladin, determined to find and destroy monsters, be they literal or metaphorical. It doesn’t hurt that she has Pet, a creature who fills the role of something like the result of a “Find Steed” spell (Pet is an unusually intelligent and strong celestial being!) or the deity who inspires Jam in her monster hunting. Together they’re pretty unstoppable, and that’s exactly what I want in my D&D party.

    So that’s it! A pretty ridiculous group of queer characters, which is the recipe for a fun campaign.

    Who would you include in your D&D party of queer characters? Leave a comment with your characters!

  • Black Sails Season 2 Episode 1 Review – IX

    Black Sails Season 2 Episode 1 Review – IX

    Flint and Silver face judgment before the crew.  Vane enjoys his new position on the island.  Max confronts Bonny.  Eleanor faces a new threat.

    (Summary provided by starz.com)


    REWATCH REACTION

    Season two is my favorite, and rewatching its first episode only reminded me of how right I was to think so!

    BEST FLINT MOMENT

    Annoyed that Silver of all people volunteered to take the ship with him, Flint insults his only partner, takes off his shoes, and starts swimming to take the Man O’ War all by his goddamn self.  His insane determination is so charismatic, and no one can resist its pull.  Least of all Silver, who sighs and takes off his jacket to follow.

    TODAY’S RUNNER UP

    Silver!  The partnership between Flint and Silver that began in 108 is flourishing here.  They are SUCH a great team.  Despite being so different (or because of it), they work together incredibly well, filling in each other’s weak spots and pushing each other to do more and be better.  For MUCH more flailing about their scenes together, head down to the Fragmented Thoughts section.

    LOL MOMENT

    This is such a funny episode!  The dynamic of Desperate Silver trying to win over No Fucks Left to Give Flint is constantly hilarious, culminating in the truly masterful scene in which both of them are caught by the Spanish crew.  Just minutes after assuring Flint that he has no reason to distrust him, Silver sells him out in exchange for gold and freedom.  Flint’s face goes gloriously twitchy as he chair-hops over to murder Silver with…his face?

    Silver bails, and then RETURNS TO THE RESCUE!  Flint gives Silver a quick strategy lesson, at which point:

    Silver:  So I actually have to fight him?
    Flint:  Well, what the fuck did you think was gonna happen?

    Silver’s face, and Flint’s voice crack of exasperation KILL ME.  Like, mad cackling into my hands at these fools.  I love them so much.

    WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

    We get our first flashbacks to Flint’s past, and I am here for it.  Finally, after a season of watching a man pursue a vision so fiercely that it compels him to murder his closest friend, we are starting to find out what led him here.

    It is in these flashbacks that we see a very different Flint – in fact, in 1705 that’s not his name at all, but James McGraw.  He’s very cleaned up and VERY attractive, and in his conversations with Thomas Hamilton, we see his role reversed.  Thomas is the idealistic one with plans for redeeming Nassau, and James is the one declaring how impossible that plan is.

    We also get our first glimpse at Civilization proper, a London of beautiful buildings, clean clothes, and nice manners.  As per the show’s theme, the ugly underbelly of this facade is quickly revealed when James takes Thomas to view a pirate hanging.  He knows that piracy flourishes because it benefits the British empire to create a monstrous enemy to fight against (“Civilization must have its monsters.”)  In order to eradicate piracy, the empire must change, and James doesn’t believe this is possible.

    Their conversations reveal another theme: complementary partners.  Thomas is idealistic but with no experience (he’s never even been to a pirate hanging before, despite his deep interest in the pirates of Nassau).  James has a lot of experience, but no ideals.  Time will tell how this partnership will work out, as it will also address the success of the present-day complementary partnership between Flint and Silver.

    FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

    • Another season opener, another pirate boarding from the perspective of the boarded merchant vessel.  Contrasted with season 1, however, this one is very ominous and silent, since the merchant captain is prepared to surrender peacefully.  I love his assertion that pirates are “men, not monsters,” and in most cases he would be right.  But unfortunately this episode introduces us to Ned Lowe, a madman who terrifies me and slaughters everyone for the prize of a mysterious woman connected to “Lord Ashe.”
    • I love the look of annoyance on Flint’s face as he stares at the Man O’ War.  You can literally see him thinking, “Well, shit, I’ve just had a brilliant idea.  I guess I can’t let them kill me just yet.”

    “Even if it weren’t for the soldiers, even if it weren’t for the guns, there’s a fucking warship watching over every inch of the bay.  A fucking warship that has already killed half your number, a fucking warship that would prevent any approach to that beach via the sea.  There’s simply no way of stealing that gold.  But there might be something else you can steal.  The fucking warship.”

    • Everyone HATES Flint, and it is amazing to watch them fight against how annoying it is that he is still so brilliant.
    • In our first flashback we get so much information about James McGraw/Flint!  He’s “a son of a carpenter.  No record of any formal schooling and yet, more literate than any three boys I knew at Eton.  You are a rising star with a bright future in the Admiralty.”  Our man James is meritocracy personified, fighting his way up the ranks through sheer brilliance.
    • Eleanor and Vane are still trying to prove who’s on top.  Vane’s line about “If your friends aren’t capable of protecting themselves, I’d argue that they aren’t worth protecting” is VERY essential to his character.  He’s attracted to strength, and has no time for weakness.
    • I’m less enamored with his constant attempts to make Eleanor see how similar they are.  While they definitely share strength and an attraction to it, he’s wrong about her priorities.  He wants her to be as in-the-moment and selfish as he is, but her desire for profit includes a desire for peace.  I love her outburst, “Stop telling me what you think I think!”  Yeah, girl.  Be your own self.
    • The scene between Flint and Silver alone on the beach is one of my all time favorites!  “You shit.”  “Um.  Beg pardon?”  LAUGHING FOREVER.  Silver’s genuine surprise that Flint intends to singlehandedly take a Spanish Man O’ War, and Flint’s genuine surprise that Silver is surprised.  I love them!
    • During the flashback to the pirate hanging, Flint gives his oft-quoted speech that ends with “in most cases a man trying to change the world fails for one simple and unavoidable reason: everyone else.”  Which makes me wonder:  SHOULD a person change the world if no one else wants it?  Who gets to determine which causes are worth changing the world for?
    • Poor Jack.  “I used my wits to build the name.  Jesus Christ, what’s become of my name?”  He’s being beaten, pissed on, and called “Jack Rackham, Crew Killer.”  Poor Jack.

    Flint:  You almost got us killed!
    Silver:  Almost.  Almost!

    Silver:  You are truly amazing, you know that?  We’re both better off now than we were two minutes ago, yet you’re angry about it because it didn’t happen your way.  Might you consider for a fucking moment that your distrust of me is completely unwarranted?  I warned you about Billy.  Was I right?  I found you over Mr. Gates’s body, and did I do anything but defend you?  When you were sinking to the bottom of the sea, who do you imagine it was who dragged you onto that beach?  Brace yourself, but I’m the only person within a hundred miles of here who doesn’t want to see you dead.

    • Eleanor is such a good businesswoman, dealing with bloody cargo and unhappy quartermasters, confronting the brothel crew about leaked information.  Max super doesn’t care, and I think enjoys showing Eleanor how much power she now has.
    • Max is hella brave. She’s obviously genuinely afraid of Anne, but she trusts her instincts enough to know that Anne’s anger is rooted in something deeper than resentment.  The confidence it must take to kiss someone who has you at knifepoint on the assumption that they are secretly attracted to women is amazing.  It’s also super hot.
    • The FANTASTIC scene where Silver rescues Flint through being a coward!  And after they save each other back and forth, they barricade themselves with three pistols, Flint’s sword, and Silver’s…tiny knife.  Hahaha, this episode is seriously so funny!
    • And then the Walrus crew comes to their rescue!  Yay!  And they sail away in their fancy new Man O’ War.
    • Ugh, I hate that Ned Lowe is actually pretty charismatic.  AND TERRIFYING, YIKES, that speech about how he feels no remorse about the horrific things he does?  Yikes yikes yikes, I don’t like him.
    • Another flashback, and we see James meet Miranda for the first time!  They form the Thomas Appreciation Club while watching him give money to a poor mother and son.  Flint is still unsure whether Thomas’s amazingness is for real, but Miranda assures him it is.

    “Great men aren’t made by politics, Lieutenant McGraw.  They aren’t made great by prudence or propriety.  They are, every last one of them, made great by one thing and one thing only: the relentless pursuit of a better world.  The great men don’t give up that pursuit.  They don’t know how.  And that is what makes them invincible.”

    • Flint is seeming pretty invincible in this episode, surviving a crew’s rage and taking over an enemy ship.  Does this mean he’s a great man?
    • The last scene between Flint and Silver is one of my favorite things that they do:  honestly tell each other their motivations and concerns about the other.  Silver tells Flint that he would have betrayed him had their interests not aligned.  He is clearly in awe of Flint, but he doesn’t pretend that this makes him a blind follower.  And I think Flint appreciates this, both the being known (hell yeah, he’s going to take back his captaincy) and the being honest.

    Not done reliving the episode?  Listen to Daphne and Liz’s podcast at Fathoms Deep!

  • Camp by L.C. Rosen

    Camp by L.C. Rosen

    From the author of the acclaimed Jack of Hearts (and other parts) comes a sweet and sharp screwball comedy that critiques the culture of toxic masculinity within the queer community.

    Sixteen-year-old Randy Kapplehoff loves spending the summer at Camp Outland, a camp for queer teens. It’s where he met his best friends. It’s where he takes to the stage in the big musical. And it’s where he fell for Hudson Aaronson-Lim – who’s only into straight-acting guys and barely knows not-at-all-straight-acting Randy even exists.

    This year, though, it’s going to be different. Randy has reinvented himself as ‘Del’ – buff, masculine, and on the market. Even if it means giving up show tunes, nail polish, and his unicorn bedsheets, he’s determined to get Hudson to fall for him.

    But as he and Hudson grow closer, Randy has to ask himself how much is he willing to change for love. And is it really love anyway, if Hudson doesn’t know who he truly is?

    Goodreads

    Camp is a delightful and ridiculous book about a queer summer camp where kids can live their best and horniest lives. We should all be so lucky as to attend Camp Outland, where participants and counselors can thrive in a safe and supportive environment.

    The plot of this book hinges on an objectively terrible idea: Randy remakes himself into butch gay guy Del in order to woo “masc4masc” hunk Hudson. I thought it would be a simple “don’t change yourself for someone, you’ll realize they aren’t worth it!” story, so I was pleasantly surprised when Rosen took a more nuanced approach. Randy discovers he likes some of the more athletic events that he joins for Hudson, and it turns out he had really good taste in crushing on the camp hottie all these years. However, he has to lose some essential pieces of himself (theater class, Unicorn Trampocalypse nail polish) along the way, which is increasingly difficult to manage.

    While Randy learns what it means to expand one’s interests while remaining true to yourself (and others), Hudson confronts his internalized homophobia. I really liked his character; an encouraging and kind dude whose parents really did a number on him. Even within a utopia like their summer camp, it felt realistic that people would still have issues to work through.

    Of course, a plot about a boy pretending to be someone else depends upon a fundamental suspension of disbelief – Hudson doesn’t recognize a fellow camp attender even though literally everyone else does, and the entire camp (even adults!!) go along with Randy’s plot to pretend that he is new. Ridiculous! But so much fun.

    Perhaps even more than the romance, Randy’s relationships with his besties deserve a shout out. George (emotive Middle Eastern bear-to-be) and Ashleigh (goth-lite demisexual lesbian) are simultaneously annoyed and impressed with Randy’s plan. As much as they exist to support and conflict with Randy’s narrative, they each get subplots and romances of their own. I would 100% read another book from one of their perspectives.

    I would also be remiss if I didn’t point out how refreshingly sex-positive this book is. The teens are panting after each other, and rather than panicking about it, the counselors make sure the resources for safe sex are readily available.

    I had such a fun time reading this book, and L.C. Rosen has become one of my must-read authors!

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here!

  • We Fell in Love Through D&D

    We Fell in Love Through D&D

    When I (Tricia) first moved to Vancouver, I was 30 and interested in making friends through something that had always intrigued me: Dungeons & Dragons. I grew up in a conservative Christian circle that never really went hard on the Satanic Panic movement of the 80s and 90s, but why risk it, you know? Even when I was older and no longer scared of imagination games with friends summoning actual demons, I didn’t find myself with friends who wanted to play. But then I moved to a new city, and I was determined to create the social group that I had always dreamed of.

    I joined a Meetup group for nerdy ladies in Vancouver and wrote a post saying that I wanted to join a D&D group – was anyone else interested? Rachel was one of the first people to reply. We set up a time to meet in person (also with Anne, who still plays D&D with us – hi, Anne!) at the Stormcrow Tavern on Commercial, RIP. I won’t say that it was love at first sight, but looking back on this origin story, I’m struck by how we were already working together to get things done.

    In September 2019, our group of four nerdy ladies got together to play our first D&D session. Rachel DMed, despite having only played D&D one time before, and together we made our way through our first one-shot. I was in love – both with D&D and increasingly, with Rachel. I was in the story for chaos and pet monsters, so I stole an egg from the giant snake we killed and dropped it into a magic potion we later found. Rachel went along with every twist I threw her way, and the adventure ended with my halfling rogue holding a cracking egg….Zink the Mood Ring Snake was born!

    For a few months, we played our way through the beginner’s Phandalin plot, but our creativity soon demanded more. I suggested that we work on creating our own dungeon, and okay, yes. It was also a shameless attempt to hang out with her one to one. It worked.

    We made Glowtopia, a dungeon that quickly became too convoluted. The underground dwarven adventure park soon turned into multiple levels with escaped dragon hatchlings, a hidden gnome society (with an overt Twilight Edward/Bella/Jacob subplot, oh my god), and a minecart ride gone wild. We only ran it once, but what was a D&D failsure was a relationship success. We could work together, navigating conflict and opposing creative ideas. We discovered that Rachel was better at the worldbuilding and I was better at character depth and relationships. We found the places where we complemented each other.

    It took an entire year for us to start dating, but I believe that time of friendship, nerdiness, and creative partnership set us up for success. We had already had our first fights, since we are both stubborn and competitive and cling to our ideas. But we had learned to value each other’s skills, and to prioritize communication with the goal of compromising. And most importantly, our relationship was built on FUN.

    Through D&D, we got to be ridiculous with each other. Stupid voices and monster screeches meant we didn’t have to pretend to be cool in front of each other. We ate snacks and drank wine and got incredibly silly, both in our times alone and with friends around the D&D map. We learned about each others’ interests, and Rachel in particular is the absolute BEST at giving D&D gifts (get you a girlfriend who writes an entire pirate campaign for you!).

    Once we finally started dating, we found ourselves in the best position in the world: Both DMs, both players, we could create and play in each other’s worlds every week. Rachel is still running the aforementioned pirate campaign (in which I play a nonbinary hadozee), and I run a Curse of Strahd campaign (in which she plays Ireena Kolyana). We help each other work through sticky DM situations and we share fun D&D merch or ideas we find online. It is a blast.

    I cannot recommend this highly enough. Date your DM. It’s a really good time.

  • Disco Elysium: A Video Game Review

    Disco Elysium: A Video Game Review

    Developed by: ZA/UM
    Release Date: October 2019
    Playtime: 38.8 hours

    The winner of a ton of awards, Disco Elysium is a relatively new computer game that completely absorbed my evenings for a week straight. Thank goodness it is only a 30-hour(ish) game, or I would still be rushing home from work to dive into Revachol and spend some time with Nameless Protagonist and Kim Kitsuragi.

    Disco Elysium is a point and click adventure of discovery: both of the identity of the murderer of a mysterious hanged man behind a hostel, and more importantly, of your own identity. The game begins with your Nameless Protagonist waking up from a massive hangover and implied suicide attempt. Throughout the game, you construct your personality with an ingenious character points tree that is more D&D than RPG. I of course leaned heavily on Empathy, which created a double edged sword: I was able to relate better to people around me, but I also felt the pain of my past more acutely without the ability to shove it down. I promise this is a game and not a therapy session.

    Although the plot of Disco Elysium is excellent and will be discussed, developing your character is truly a unique highlight of the game. As you talk with people at the hostel and beyond, you get a sense for what you’ve been like the previous few days. You can also find personal effects in likely and unlikely locations (how embarrassing, having to be a detective to find your lost detective items) which will trigger memories of who you are and what emotional minefields you are fleeing from. It is honestly SO satisfying to watch your character grow….in any number of directions, as you can double down on paranoia and preach the end of days, get straight-laced and sober and sorry, or any number of unique paths.

    In addition to the personality points system, another element of the game that is extremely D&D are all of the ability checks that you make throughout the game. In fact, that’s how every interaction between people and objects is judged. Want to figure out if someone is telling you the truth? Roll the dice with your drama modifier (this is calculated automatically) to determine your success. Want to use a crowbar to break into a freezer? Roll the dice with your physical instrument modifier. If you fail, you must either interact with the world in such a way as to increase your odds (talk to the person further, find a bigger crowbar) or level up so that you have a new point to assign to the necessary personality aspect.

    This conceit applies to combat as well. In the rare (but so emotionally powerful!) scenes where violence occurs, time slows and every interaction is a dice roll – gauging people’s anger, dodging attacks, trying to talk people down, warning people of danger. It is super stressful and realistic as you attempt to make a shot, but roll poorly and face the consequences.

    Okay, but what about the actual plot? It’s also great! You play a detective sent to Revachol to investigate the murder of a hanged man behind a hostel. You are assigned a partner in Kim Kitsuragi, who feels like an incredibly real character with meaningful depth. Together, you follow leads that twist in on each other – is it a political dispute gone wrong between the union and Wild Pines, or is it something more personal? Along the way, you uncover the (exhaustingly detailed) history of Revachol, the quirks of its inhabitants, and complete a side quest or two. These can cover ground from the mundane (convince a shopkeep to let her cold daughter inside) to the fantastical (set bug traps for a cryptozoologist) to something in the middle (set up a rave club inside a church while a scientist measures a hole in the world with their music equipment). The pace unfurls at the perfect pace to keep your attention focused on solving the murder while allowing detours to explore everything around you.

    At times dark but with an enormous amount of heart, Disco Elysium has a lot to say about the human condition, about what is possible, and how we can rebuild ourselves after trauma. 10/10 recommend.

  • Black Sails Season 1 Episode 8 Review – VIII

    Black Sails Season 1 Episode 8 Review – VIII

    The hunt for the Urca is on.  Everything changes for Eleanor.  Bonny and Rackham’s sins come back to haunt them.

    (Summary provided by starz.com)


    REWATCH REACTION

    This episode is FANTASTIC, and my notes while rewatching it become increasingly caps lock-y, culminating in a brief mental breakdown because of my love for Flint.

    FullSizeRender

     BEST FLINT MOMENT

    Literally every scene with Flint in this episode is Top Notch, but I’ll highlight one in particular:

    After aligning the ship to fire on the Spanish Man O’ War, Dufresne accuses Flint of “tyrannical crimes” against his crew.  When no one will obey Flint’s orders to fire, he strides down the stairs to light a cannon himself.  Dufresne SHOOTS HIM, at which point he CRAWLS along the deck to light the cannon.  Even though the fuse is taken from him, it does not stop this from being the sexiest display of determination I have ever seen.

    TODAY’S RUNNER UP

    Silver!  I suppose it is fitting that in Gates’ last episode (RIP), we see Silver stepping up to be Flint’s right hand man.  Their partnership is the show’s central relationship, and I think this is really the first time we see how powerful they are when acting together.

    It’s just one thing after another:  When Silver walks in on Flint after he’s just murdered Gates, he immediately sides with Flint, no questions asked about what has just happened.  Then Flint hides and tells Silver what to say to the Spanish ship.  Silver later tries to talk Dufresne into being calm, and when that is unsuccessful (leading to the aforementioned Flint being shot and unable to light a cannon), it is SILVER who shoots at the Man O’ War and makes the fight inevitable.  Finally, when Flint allows himself to sink, it is Silver who pulls him out and makes sure his wound is bandaged (this is explicitly addressed in episode 1 of season 2, but it’s implied here).

    In the previous episode, we saw how desperately Flint needed an ally that shared his vision.  Although Silver shares this vision only so far as it pertains to him acquiring some gold, they are undeniably a good match.  Both smart men who can create new plans in an instant, they are formidable when working together.

    LOL MOMENT

    Jack’s finally got the brothel in order thanks to Max, and Mrs. Mapleton is unhappy to see her profits decreasing.  When she threatens to expose his past misdeeds, Jack pauses before saying, “Well, Mrs. Mapleton, that sounds like gross insubordination to me.  That, coupled with the graft you’ve been responsible for, leaves me with no choice but to terminate your employment here.”  And later, when he and Max are basking in their victory, he says, “Please don’t judge me, but I really enjoyed that.”

    WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

    We’ve got to talk about Flint murdering Gates, yeah?  WOW, is that not any easier to watch, even knowing it’s coming.  This is mostly because the previous scene between Flint and Gates, in which they share a drink and laugh about old Craig who drank a bottle of piss, is so much weightier when you know what’s about to happen.  I love the ambiguity of the scene:  does Flint think things are okay between him and Gates?  Is he hoping a boy’s night drinking will MAKE things better?  Or do they both just truly realize that they might die the next day, so they may as well set politics aside and have a good time?

    But it’s not enough.  When Gates sees that the Urca isn’t where they thought it would be, he’s done.  Flint is mad, thinking that Gates means to see him hung as a pirate.  But he is FURIOUS when he realizes that Gates wants something worse for him:  to be sent with Miranda to Boston.  This is DEVASTATING to me, because in his attempt to do something “better” for Flint, it shows just how little Gates understood him.

    As Daphne and Liz always say in their podcast Fathoms Deep, this is the scene in  which people really get sold on Black Sails, because how can a show present us with a scene of a man murdering someone he called friend…and we’re left pitying the murderer??  God, Toby Stephens is amazing, and the writing is just gut-wrenching.  “Please, please don’t do this.”  “This is not what I wanted, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”  And after it’s done, he is so protective of Gates against Silver, and even strokes his cheek!

    BlackSails-108_1627

    All this, and we’re left wondering, “What could POSSIBLY be fueling this man to do such heinous things that even HE obviously finds heinous?”  Hehehe, we’ll have to get there in season two!

    FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

    • Just in time for the season finale, we’ve got a ton of boobies again. I guess this is meant to show us that Jack is running the business well again?
    • I want more scenes of Silver as Caretaker for a curmudgeonly Randall.
    • After Silver successfully tells Flint the final piece of the schedule, he says:
      Silver:  Now that I’ve fulfilled my end of our bargain, I’m just wondering where you and I stand.
      Flint:  Keep wondering.
      Silver leaves, and then FLINT GRINS.  I am so in love with this Flint who enjoys messing with his crew (see also: “Billy, who?” which I think I have successfully proven had to have been a joke).
    • Eleanor is still surrounded by men, but instead of them fighting against her, they’re all on her side.  It’s very cool to see her varying reactions to their praise:  With Hornigold, she couldn’t care less.  With Vane, she is mildly impressed by his observations (but not fully – I think his assertion that she doesn’t want fathers telling her what to do should be enlarged to include MEN telling her what to do, which includes you, Vane!).  But with Mr. Scott?  She’s genuinely touched.  And that’s because Mr. Scott knows her and validates her.  That scene between them is entirely lovely.
    • “There are no legacies in this life, are there?  No monuments.  No history.  Just the water.  It pays us, and it claims us.  Swallows us whole, as if we’d never been here at all.” This is a gorgeous observation by Gates, though it unfortunately only highlights how different his perspective is from Flint’s.  While Gates lives in the here and now and expects nothing different, Flint is determined to live bigger and bring about change for himself and everyone else.
    • Runner up for the LOL segment:  Jack and Anne saying, “Fuck you, Jack” in tandem.  Poor Anne has caught FEELINGS for Max and doesn’t even know what they are yet. I can’t wait to find out with her!!
    • Flint’s inspirational speech is so great, and when they see the empty bay, the disappointment is heart-wrenching.
    • During this rewatch, I’ve been able to be more objective about my feelings for Flint (this might not be obvious, but trust me).  Honestly, I can see why people are terrified of him.  Beloved, powerful people keep dying around him.  I mean, Dufresne and DeGroot were scared Gates would betray them, but then Flint CLEARLY murders him and carries on as though nothing has happened, and they’re left believing that no one is sacred to that man.  They don’t know Flint’s history or plans.  I get why they want him gone.
    • HOWEVER, Dufresne really has the most appalling timing.
    • I think his decision to read Gates’ letter is half sincerity, half annoyance that Flint took his information (don’t say tobacco from St. Augustine) and twists it to his own purposes.
    • Vane is a selfish bastard.  The loyalty he extols (poor Jack and Anne!) is very small – it doesn’t extend to anyone beyond his crew even while the rest of Nassau is learning to band together.
    • I do love the ambiguity of why he took the fort.  Is it to prove his power?  Is it to piss off his enemies?  Or is it to give Eleanor the defense she needs to run Nassau effectively?  Because this is Black Sails and our characters are wonderfully complex, I think it’s all three.
    • RANDALL SAVED SILVER AND IT WAS SO GOOD.
    • Dufresne is an idiot!! It is physically painful to watch him make decisions too slowly.
    • OH SHIT, that is the only reaction to watching the Man O’ War turn and open her gunports, and OH SHIT OH SHIT that is carnage like we have never yet seen.
    • Oh my GOD, the sadness of Flint watching his ship and his crew be destroyed, slowing fixing his hair, letting himself be blasted overboard and then sinking, sinking, sinking.
    • Max and Eleanor finally have a real conversation, and it is so sad.

    Max:  You have nothing to be sorry about.  I was standing between you and your dreams for this place.  You did what you had to do.
    Eleanor:  I thought you said this place was just sand.
    Max:  Sand has its virtues.  On sand, nothing is fixed.  Nothing is permanent.  Fates change so quickly.

    • And then we get Flint, alive and shirtless, wondering why this is so.  It’s because the Urca crashed in a storm the night before, and everyone is at least smart enough to realize that FLINT IS THE BEST and they need him if they’re going to get their gold.
    • He is looking SO GOOD standing there in his tight black pants, billowing shirt, and loose hair.  Toby Stephens has ruined me.
    • That’s the end of the first season!  Shaky at first, steadily better, and ending with SUCH a great twisty finale!  Can’t wait to keep going – season 2 is my favorite!
    BlackSails-108_3090
    I MEAN.  I am HERE for this outfit,

    RHETORICAL QUESTIONS

    • What happened to Gates’ body?  😦  I hope they went back to the Walrus to find him and give him to the sea.

    Not done reliving the episode?  Listen to Daphne and Liz’s podcast at Fathoms Deep!

  • The Deep & Dark Blue by Niki Smith

    The Deep & Dark Blue by Niki Smith

    After a terrible political coup usurps their noble house, Hawke and Grayson flee to stay alive and assume new identities, Hanna and Grayce. Desperation and chance lead them to the Communion of Blue, an order of magical women who spin the threads of reality to their will.

    As the twins learn more about the Communion, and themselves, they begin to hatch a plan to avenge their family and retake their royal home.While Hawke wants to return to his old life, Grayce struggles to keep the threads of her new life from unraveling, and realizes she wants to stay in the one place that will allow her to finally live as a girl.

    Goodreads

    This was an excellent graphic novel that I would seriously love to see made into a movie. There is action and political intrigue, fascinating world building, and deep character development. Not bad for a middle grade graphic novel!

    When royal twins find their family under attack, they escape and hide in the women’s section of the city. There is one panel in particular that shows a land mass within a bustling city circled by a river, high walls guarding feminine secrets, and I want in! Dressed as girls, they are initiated into the Communion of the Blue, which is a fabulous society based on religious myths of a Mother Weaver whose proclivity for blue bestows life. One twin, Hawke aka Hannah, is taken into the guards, where he struggles to learn weaponless combat after a young life of sword training. The other twin, Grayson aka Grayce, is welcomed into the inner sanctum to learn how to spin blue wool. Oh, and I mention that spinners can perform magic with their spinning? This whole premise gives me serious Avatar: The Last Airbender vibes, and I love it.

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    When Grayson enters the Communion of the Blue, everyone around comments on what a lovely girl they make, which causes Grayson to blush with obvious pleasure. While Hawke is eager to return to their old life and reclaim the throne, Grayce feels at home in the women’s world, seen and understood for the first time.

    It’s a very sweet transgender narrative. Her brother is unobservant, but when a more savvy mutual friend points out Grayce’s happiness, he quickly understands and supports his sister. And even though I knew it was coming, seeing the magic of the tapestry confirm Grayce’s identity was absolutely moving. I really hope Smith writes more in this world!

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here!

  • 5 Books for Lesbian Visibility Day

    5 Books for Lesbian Visibility Day

    Established in 2008, Lesbian Visibility Day is celebrated on April 26th with the goal of raising “awareness about the stereotypes, judgments, and lack of representation that lesbians face” (source). I will do my small part to celebrate the holiday by highlighting five of my favorite books starring lesbians.

    It has been my experience that even in queer nerdy spaces, the majority of the focus tends to be on gay male relationships. Now, I have been (and always will be) a huge fan of Draco/Harry and Steve/Bucky, but it is very different to see Beau and Yasha go on a date in Critical Role. Seeing two women fight together and fall in love opens up a world of possibilities that simply didn’t exist when I was fingerling over two men doing the same. So in the interest of celebrating possibilities and women who love women, here are five of my favorite books with lesbian protagonists!

    The Unspoken Name by A. K. Larkwood

    This fantasy novel has a lesbian assassin orc as its protagonist, and if that is your jam (like it is mine), then I literally don’t need to say anything else. However, I will. This is a book about choosing to live when the world wants to sacrifice you for other people’s good. Its pace is fast, the characters diverse and interesting, and the world creative. I cannot wait for the sequel (though there is no terrible cliffhanger at the end)!

    Review Here

    Burning Roses by S. L. Huang

    Combining Eastern and Western fairy tales, this novella stars two middle-aged lesbians who are not in love with each other! Rosa (Red Riding Hood) and Hou Yi pursue dangerous creatures and deal with the regrets of their past…which are not quite so far in the past as they may have hoped! If lesbians are poorly represented in media, middle-aged lesbians are even less so. I am desperate for more!

    Untamed by Glennon Doyle

    I remember reading an essay in Doyle’s first book, Carry On, Warrior, in which she tells her young children that she will love them wholeheartedly if they ever come out as gay. This was earth-shaking to my conservative Christian bubble, so imagine how delightful it was when Doyle herself came out as a lesbian in love with her wife Abby Wambach. This memoir captures the excitement and confusion of realizing your sexuality in adulthood and how that will reshape your already existing relationships (if you are lucky like her, they will wind up stronger and closer than ever). It’s a New York Times bestseller for a reason.

    You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson

    This YA contemporary fiction has been widely well-received (and is nominated for a Lambda Literary award). It is a sweet novel about a closeted black lesbian teen who runs for prom queen in order to win the accompanying scholarship money. Although there is a geeks vs. popular girls dynamic, the focus is far more on the benefits of opening yourself up to friends from other social circles, and the delightful surprise of being accepted where you feared rejection.

    Review Here

    Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

    I’m saying nothing new here, but if you haven’t read The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir (Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth), drop everything and read them today! And if you have read them, do yourself a favor and read them again! Set in a sci-fi fantasy mystery of necromancers and magic, Gideon and Harrow are giant messes, yet I love them entirely! The world building is astonishingly well-developed, the plot relentless, and the characters utterly endearing (if that is the correct word for vicious, powerful, weird necromancers). If you’ve ever wanted to take a step toward goth lesbianism, this is where you should start.

    Review Here

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

  • Butter Honey Pig Bread by Francesca Ekwuyasi

    Butter Honey Pig Bread by Francesca Ekwuyasi

    Spanning three continents, Butter Honey Pig Bread tells the interconnected stories of three Nigerian women: Kambirinachi and her twin daughters, Kehinde and Taiye. Kambirinachi believes that she is an Ogbanje, or an Abiku, a non-human spirit that plagues a family with misfortune by being born and then dying in childhood to cause a human mother misery. She has made the unnatural choice of staying alive to love her human family but lives in fear of the consequences of her decision.

    Kambirinachi and her two daughters become estranged from one another because of a trauma that Kehinde experiences in childhood, which leads her to move away and cut off all contact. She ultimately finds her path as an artist and seeks to raise a family of her own, despite her fear that she won’t be a good mother. Meanwhile, Taiye is plagued by guilt for what her sister suffered and also runs away, attempting to fill the void of that lost relationship with casual flings with women. She eventually discovers a way out of her stifling loneliness through a passion for food and cooking.

    But now, after more than a decade of living apart, Taiye and Kehinde have returned home to Lagos. It is here that the three women must face each other and address the wounds of the past if they are to reconcile and move forward.

    For readers of African diasporic authors such as Teju Cole and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Butter Honey Pig Bread is a story of choices and their consequences, of motherhood, of the malleable line between the spirit and the mind, of finding new homes and mending old ones, of voracious appetites, of queer love, of friendship, faith, and above all, family.

    Goodreads

    I adored this compulsively readable story of three women – Kambirinachi and her adult twin daughters Taiye and Kahinde that gives you literary feels with a page-turner drive. Set primarily in their home country of Nigeria but extending to England, France, and Canada, this is a book about the messy relationships we have with ourselves and each other.

    This book is all about loneliness, loss, and connection. Whether through trauma, mental illness, or the passage of time, each woman’s life is permeated with loss. And each of them cope in different ways, though all tend to make things worse for themselves. But this isn’t a hopeless or depressing book. The story begins when our protagonists reunite and begin to feel their way toward understanding, empathy, and a new beginning.

    I am in love with Ekwuyasi’s ability to create fully formed characters with uniquely deep interpersonal relationships. In flashbacks, Taiye in particular is constantly falling into relationships, searching for meaning and connection after being cut off from her twin sister. Each time she meets someone, romantic or otherwise, we learn something new about her, and each person is interesting enough that you’re left wanting to read a book about them as well.

    This is a very sensual book, both in terms of being sexy and literally in its focus on the senses. This book WILL make you hungry; the food descriptions will have you reaching for snacks and then sad that you aren’t eating what is described on the page. The physical parts of life, whether food or sex, are presented as comforts and unifying forces, as external things that can support internal realities or distract from inner work. The title itself is a reference to the four sections of the book; thankfully it is not one single food monstrosity.

    Ekwuyasi’s mastery of the physical realm is matched by her deft touch with an inner landscape. Kambirinachi’s experience hearing the voices of her Kin can be read through a Western medicinal lens (she has schizophrenia) or through magical realism that accepts a world bigger and more spiritual than I am used to. Taiye also sees visions of Our Lady, and we are left questioning how much is imagination? How much is hallucination? How much is real? The book lets us decide for ourselves.

    Butter Honey Pig Bread is making major waves, and it deserves all the praise that it has received. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and I cannot wait for Ekwuyasi to write a second novel!

    What Makes This Book Queer?

    I don’t know if this is because I’m a queer lady, but Taiye’s character felt the most developed. She was definitely my favorite! Taiye is a disaster lesbian, winning and breaking hearts all over the world (including her own). This book gets sexy, my friends, but always in a way that feels rooted in honoring characters rather than exploiting sexualities. Although there is definitely the root of a romantic love story that develops over the course of the novel, I especially enjoyed Taiye’s queer friendships, and the various ways queer communities intersected with her journeys. Love of all kinds is celebrated, and that is my absolute favorite thing.

    Rating: 5 out of 5.

    Check out our Queer Lil Library for more book recommendations and reviews!

    Find more books nominated for Lambda Literary Awards reviewed here!

  • The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 6 RECAP – One World, One People

    The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 6 RECAP – One World, One People

    The finale is indicative of the show as a whole: Uneven but full of beautiful, paradigm-shifting moments. I can’t say that the show is one I’ll go back to, but certain scenes stand out as some of the most important in Marvel history.

    We start with Karli and her super soldier pals holding the GRC meeting hostage. Bucky arrives to save the day (Bucky is called “Sergeant Barnes”??), and Sharon also shows up. Sam bursts through a window in the new Captain America suit, and he looks great! I love this new iteration of Cap that is a combination of shield and wings. The extra tech makes his ability to hero without the serum believable, and I got serious feelings when the subtitles called Sam “Captain America.”

    Baltroc shows up to fight, and Karli calls Bucky to convince him to join her side as a diversion so that the GRC people can be loaded into police vans as obvious hostages. Karli admits that she is willing to kill the hostages if negotiating doesn’t work out, and her super soldier pals are not so bloodthirsty. In the midst of OH MY GOODNESS SO MUCH ACTION, Sam shows off his wings as a shield, and we see people reacting to him as Captain America for the first time.

    It’s a super soldier stand off, and Karli lights a van on fire to distract Bucky. John Walker shows up in his homemade Cap suit and shield, and Karli says, “I don’t want to hurt people who don’t matter” in reference to Lamar. Oh man, that is some LOADED language in this Black Lives Matter time, and John attacks her for it before deciding he would rather save people than kill her. I really love the ambiguity that the show has allowed John to live in. He’s not a hero OR a villain. He’s just a dude who has white privilege and power but wants to do good. It’s a mess, and that’s a story worth telling (as a B plot to a black man’s story of ascension).

    “Thats the Black Falcon, I tell you.”

    “Nah, that’s Captain America.”

    Just when things settle down, Baltroc gasses the place, forcing everyone underground. Sharon shows up to confront Karli and reveals that she is the Power Broker. It is not a surprise after the last episode, and I’m so glad they went in this direction! Being a villain will be the most interesting thing Sharon ever does.

    Baltroc shows up to blackmail Sharon, but she’s having none of it. She kills him, getting show by Karli in the process. There were seriously a lot of bad guys in this show, huh? Sam appears to “fight” Karli, and he’s still trying to save her. She tells him to “Stay down,” and in an excellently succinct version of Steve’s “I can do this all day,” Sam just says, “No.” Karli aims to shoot, but Sharon gets there first, and Sam cradles her as Karli dies. She says, “I’m sorry,” with her last breath, but…I don’t believe her. She has never once seemed sorry for her actions.

    The police arrest Super Soldier B Team with Bucky and John’s assistance, and they share a pat on the back as they walk away. It’s really nice to see Bucky moving on past his hatred of someone else in Steve’s suit.

    We’re only halfway through the episode, and all of the bad guys are either dead or arrested! (Except Sharon, who no one realizes is bad.) In a beautifully evocative scene, a Madonna/Sam descends from on high carrying Karli like a Pieta Messiah. He gives an inspiring speech to the GRC leaders, insisting that they should stop calling people terrorists and instead ask why they’re doing what they are doing. This is such a nice change from the old American ideal of “we don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

    He continues by pointing out that the Blip has enabled everyone to understand what it feels like to be helpless. He urges the leaders to lean into that experience and use it to connect with the needs of people worldwide. I was positively ready to stand with my hand to my heart when he says, “The question is, who’s going to be in the room with you when you’re making those decisions? People who are going to be impacted, or more people just like you.” I love Sam!

    Loose ends are tied up when the police van bearing four super soldiers is blown up by Zemo’s butler. Valentina’s chaos energy is high when she waffles on whether she’s responsible for it before fawning over John Walker’s new outfit. She says, “Things are about to get weird. We won’t need a Captain America. We’re going to need a U.S. Agent.”

    Bucky finally makes amends by telling his elderly friend from episode one what really happened to his son. It’s heartbreaking, and while I wish there were a little more resolution to that scene, any more would have felt out of place. He also leaves a gift for his therapist – the notebook with all amends crossed off and a thank you card!

    Sam visits Isaiah and gives another inspiring speech, insisting that black people built America, and he’s not going to let anyone stop him from fighting for it after everything his people have done for it. AND THEN! Sam takes Isaiah and his grandson to the Smithsonian, where a new exhibit has been added to the Captain America hall. A statue of Isaiah and a plinth describing his story. They share an emotional hug, and my entire heart explodes.

    The show ends with a party in Louisiana, and I hope we will see this setting again in future movies! When the title card comes up, it says Captain America and the Winter Soldier, which is VERY satisfying albeit a little weird, since there is already a movie with that name.

    In the post-credits scene, Sharon is pardoned and welcomed back into the CIA. She gleefully informs someone on the phone that they’re about to come into a lot of government secrets. I can’t wait to see where her story goes!

    And that’s it! The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is over. As I said up top, the series felt pretty uneven, but this was a story that very much needed to be told and deserved to be told. It makes me very excited for Phase 4 of Marvel. I think we’re actually going to get more diverse stories. I mean, man, we’re STILL waiting for that Black Widow movie so many of us were begging for nine years ago. They failed then, but they’re working on changing things with WandaVision‘s focus on female grief and power and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier addressing race relations in America. I am all in!

  • My 8 Favorite Board Games

    My 8 Favorite Board Games

    I did not always love board games (the one that I did love was Life – that spinner! the tiny people pegs!), but I have consistently become friends with people who love them. I first warmed to card games when my Midwestern friends hosted euchre tournaments during weekend getaways. Over the years, I slowly got into table top games with Ticket to Ride and Settlers of Cataan. Now, I have become full-fledged board game geek, a title that is bestowed when one voluntarily plays a game for 13 hours (see Twilight Imperium below).

    I pride myself on having a diverse board game palate. I want to have games that appeal to different kinds of people, from the silly to the serious and the short to the long. If you are looking for a new game to play, these table top games are ones that I can personally vouch for!

    I want to acknowledge that board games can be expensive.  If you don’t think you’re ready to invest in a board game, you can still enjoy them!  You can borrow a game from a friend, check out a board game from the library, or head out to a cafe or pub that allows you to play a huge variety of games while eating and drinking.  (If you’re in the Vancouver area, I recommend Storm Crow Alehouse or Pizzeria Ludica during non-COVID times.)

    5 Minute Dungeon

    5-Minute Dungeon (2-5 players, 25 minute gameplay)
    5-Minute Dungeon is an excellent game to start the evening.  Each round literally lasts five minutes, so it’s a quick and chaotic cooperative way to get in the gaming mood with your friends.  Using D&D archetypes such as rogue, wizard, or barbarian, you have the option of choosing from five character cards (male or female on either side, equaling ten option in total) to team up and defeat five increasingly difficult boss battles.  The gameplay is simple, as you and your teammates match icons from your hand to defeat a series of monsters and obstacles, and the five minute time limit guarantees that you will be laughing and screaming in an attempt to be victorious in time.

    Unstable Unicorns

    Unstable Unicorns (2-8 players, 30-45 minute gameplay) 
    Unstable Unicorns is an adorably designed game of killer unicorns with hilarious names and powers (Americorn!  Stabby the Unicorn!) that combines strategy and ruthlessness with seriously, just the cutest illustrations ever.  Build up your stable of unicorns (as well as narwhals, the unicorns of the sea) and try to destroy the unicorns of other players.  It is a simple system with the potential for a lot of clever gameplay.

    Quelf

    Quelf (3-8 players, 1-2 hour gameplay)
    Quelf is my favorite party game, and I have historically described it as “if you are willing to look ridiculous for 30 seconds, you get to watch your friends look ridiculous too.”  It is out and out bonkers, as you move along the track by miming falling down an elevator or scouring your kitchen for materials to make a scuba mask that must be worn for the remainder of the game.  Sometimes you lose points if you forget to bark at someone entering the room.  It’s the silliest thing I’ve ever voluntarily done on repeat, and it never gets old.

    Munchkin

    Munchkin (3-6 players, 1-2 hour gameplay)
    Munchkin is a card-based strategy game wherein you strengthen your character with loot like the Kneepads of Sexiness and fight monsters, racing to level 10 before any of your competitors.  It’s a lot of fun that never gets old, because holy cow, there are so many expansions.  You can work your way through Adventure Time scenarios or Cthulhu horrors or dinosaurs.  This game has a fairly simple conceit, but it’s heightened with creative twists like giving monsters additional hit points for every drink that’s on the table.

    Eldtrich Horror

    Eldritch Horror (1-8 players, 2-4 hour gameplay)
    Eldritch Horror is one of the most complicated, most difficult games I’ve ever played.  In fact, in the three times I’ve played this with groups of experienced gamers, I have never once won.  Yet this only makes me want to try again!  A cooperative game based on H.P. Lovecraft’s novels, you and your friends race to find clues and defeat horrors appearing through rifts all over the world before your health and sanity disappear.  It requires strategy, flexibility, and the willingness to mourn the takeover of planet earth after hours of attempting to prevent the apocalypse.  Defeat was never so fun.

    Arkham Horror Card Game

    Arkham Horror: The Card Game (1-4 players, 1-2 hour gameplay)
    If you’re not a fan of board games that require hundreds of game pieces, switch over to Arkham Horror: the Card Game, which adds role-play to the original concept of partners uniting to defeat otherworldly horrors before you lose all health and sanity.  The card setup is unique, and the scenarios allow you to fail but continue moving forward so long as you note your “two mental traumas” in the gameplay notebook.  Again, this is a game designed to be almost impossible, which should be obvious by the rule that states, “If you are unsure how to apply a rule, choose the option that causes the most pain to your characters.”  So hard!  So fun!

    Terraforming Mars

    Terraforming Mars (1-5 players, 1-2 hour gameplay)
    Terraforming Mars a perfect game for one or two people who want to strategize and create a long term plan, stacking resources and implementing opportunities at just the right moment.  This game wins extra points for feeling like you’re really terraforming Mars.  Points are earned as you raise the temperature and oxygen levels, and you have access to developing microbes and searching for life before opportunities to plan grass ever come along.  An incredibly nerdy and delightful game.

    Twilight Imperium

    Twilight Imperium (3-6 players, 4-8 hour playtime)
    The game of all games.  I first played Twilight Imperium in a group of six, and we played for thirteen hours.  It is a testament to this game that we played again within a month, and the second time breezed by in a quick seven hours.  This complex game somehow manages to never feel QUITE too complicated, though I cannot imagine trying to play without at least one player who has experience.  In this race to conquer the galaxy (which you create with tiles, guaranteeing a new game every time), you can lean into technology, war, trade, or diplomacy to earn victory points and become undisputed champion of table top gaming. (Check out my review here.)

  • Woodland Walks Hike in Coquitlam, BC

    Woodland Walks Hike in Coquitlam, BC

    Distance from Vancouver: 42 km
    Hike Length: 7.9 km
    Elevation Gain: 340 m
    Time: 2 hours and 50 minutes
    Steps: 15,000

    Woodland Walks is a beautiful trail for intermediate hikers, but good hiking shoes are a must – it’s an ankle breaker.

    Driving to Woodlands Walks will take you through a subdivision – don’t freak out like I did, this is correct. After turning onto a service road, you can park along the street. This is a reasonably popular trail, so I wouldn’t arrive any later than 9:00 a.m. (though spaces will reopen fairly regularly since it isn’t a hugely long hike).

    The biggest bonus of this hike is its diversity. There are sections in the forest with well-worn paths, steep sections that require picking your way up and down rocks, open areas with gravel roads and wider views, and an outlook or two with space to enjoy a cup of tea. I can feel myself starting to take BC’s beauty for granted, with one rainforest wonder after the other. I really appreciated a hike with open sky and views of snowcapped mountains as a change.

    The downside to this hike is how hard it is on joints! There are a lot of roots and stones in the path, so it is a must to keep your footing. The elevation in this trail is also very compressed, so while much of it is flat and easy, the up sections are very steep. They are worth it, and take heart with the knowledge that these sections never last too long. It’s also worth noting that this is also a mountain bike trail, but we never came across any, so I cannot speak to how people share the trail.

    Overall, I really enjoyed this hike and would definitely do it again! It is just long enough and challenging enough to feel like a workout, but it isn’t so long that you want to die.

    The Out of Shape Hiker’s Statistics

    Can you take your grandma on this trail? NO, there are extremely steep sections, and the easy parts of the trail still have roots and stone that could easily twist someone’s ankle.

    Does the trail have Instagram-worthy locations? Yes. In particular, there is an open section where people have built little cairns of stones.

    How many times did we get passed? ZERO! But that is more likely because we seemed to be going in the opposite direction as everyone else.

    Is the trail dog friendly? Yes, dogs are allowed on leashes. We saw several well-behaved dogs off leash though, and no one seemed to mind.

    Challenge Rating: This trail will make you sore the next day! Be prepared with ankle-supporting shoes and any necessary knee braces or hiking sticks.

  • Black Sails Season 1 Episode 7 Review – VII

    Black Sails Season 1 Episode 7 Review – VII

    Flint tells Gates the truth.  Randall puts Silver in a bind.  Eleanor suffers a loss.  Max comes to Rackham’s aid.  Vane enters the fight of his life.

    (Summary provided by starz.com)


    BEST FLINT MOMENT

    This whole episode is Best Flint Moment!!  I’m going to discuss what we learn about Flint in more depth in the Well-Formed Thoughts section, but his conversation with Miranda deserves to be here.  He is at his most vulnerable with Miranda (consider this scene compared to his tightly-wound conversation with Gates), and it’s beautiful to watch him fall apart.  

    Flint:  What was your intent?  What was it?  To destroy everything we have tried to build here for the last ten years?  Or was it just to embarrass me?
    Miranda:  To show you a way out of all this.  To free you.
    F:  A way out?  Have you no memory of how we got in?  Of what they took from us?
    M:  What does it matter now?
    F:  What does it matter?  (Sidenote, HIS FACE HERE)
    M:  What does it matter what happened then if we have no life now?  Because there is no life here, there is no joy here, there is no love here.
    F:  WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  What do you think I’m out there fighting for but to make all those things possible here?
    M:  You’ll fight a war so we can make a life?
    F:  You don’t get one without the other, my sweet.
    M:  No.  You’re wrong.  I sent that letter to show you that you’re wrong.  There is a life in Boston.  There is joy there, and music, and peace.  The door is open.  I’ve opened it for you, and it requires no war, no blood, and no sacrifice.
    F:  It requires an intolerable sacrifice!
    M:  To accept a pardon?
    F:  To apologize!
    M:  Apologize?  Who will you be apologizing to?
    F:  TO ENGLAND.  They took everything from us, and then they call ME a monster?  The moment I sign that pardon, the moment I ask for one, I proclaim that they were right.  This ends when I grant them MY forgiveness, not the other way around.
    M:  This path you’re on, it doesn’t lead where you think it does.  If he were here, he’d agree with me.

    Oh my GOD, this scene is devastating.  It was beautiful the first time I saw it, intriguing with all my confusion, but now that I know what Flint is talking about, WOW.  Wow wow wow.

    Wow.

    TODAY’S RUNNER UP

    Silver!  From his reunion with Flint (coughing to Eleanor to remind her to be his defender) throughout his almost-accusal by Randall, he is scrambling to stay alive.  I continue to enjoy his unsuccessful attempts to charm Randall, and it is very telling that it is only when Silver is vulnerable, honest, and thinking of someone else’s benefit that Randall sides with Silver and takes back his accusation.  This is Silver’s first opportunity to grow past his compulsive selfishness!

    LOL MOMENT

    Definitely Silver’s wondering aloud at whether Randall is a half-wit or a genius, only to be answered with…a massive fart.  LOL, Randall.  I love you.

    WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

    We get so much good Flint material here, both in revelations as to his motivations and in revealing his vulnerabilities.  In three scenes (with Gates, Miranda, and Eleanor), we see him searching for a partner who shares his vision.

    First, with Gates:

    Flint has kept many secrets from Gates, and now that Billy is a casualty of those secrets, Gates is done.  It’s telling that for as close of friends as they seem, Flint hasn’t told Gates much of his story.  In a last ditch attempt to win Gates to his vision, Flint tells him of his plan to sequester part of the Urca gold so that Nassau can be stable.

    Flint:  I’m quite serious.  Who loses?  Absent their worst instincts: their pride, their greed, their suspicion, in the light of pure reason, who says no to this?  They’ll be rich men in a safe place rather than dead thieves on a long rope.

    But it’s too late.  Flint opening up about a piece of his grander plan is just one more secret Gates doesn’t want to hear.

    BlackSails-107_1134

    Second, with Miranda:

    I quoted the whole scene above, and I love it all.  Contrasted with Gates, Miranda KNOWS all of Flint’s plan (though we still don’t), and apparently shared it at one time.  The fact that she has given it up and wants to move with him to Boston is therefore a much bigger betrayal.  While Miranda has emotionally moved on to the point that she can say, “What does it matter?”, Flint is still living in the trauma of what happened ten years ago.  This too feels like abandonment and betrayal to him.  Flint is overwhelmed by all this, so he goes to the tavern to get drunk.  It is there that he finds a new visionary partner.

    BlackSails-107_2001

    Lastly, with Eleanor:

    These two betrayals by his closest friends has led Flint to doubt himself, and it must be bad because he opens up about it with Eleanor.

    Flint:  Tell me we’re not crazy, you and I.
    Eleanor:  Crazy?
    Flint:  To put ourselves through all of this, when the outcome’s so uncertain.
    Eleanor:  The outcome is only uncertain for those who disbelieve.  I believe in this place, and I believe if there’s anyone who can do what’s necessary to make it something better, it’s you.

    This is exactly what Flint needs to hear.  He needs someone to believe in him and to stand beside him.  His reliance upon a partner is his greatest weakness and greatest strength, and I’m so excited to watch the series while tracking Flint’s highs and lows as compared to the state of his partnerships.

    BlackSails-107_2635

    FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

    • So far we have seen people question Flint’s loyalty (as it pertains to his crew), but he’s clearly VERY loyal to Miranda at least.  He consistently defends her against those who want her to answer for her letter.  She wasn’t wrong in a previous episode when she assured Lambrick that Flint would never hurt her.
    • My favorite sex scenes in this show are the ones with really bad sex!  Love the mundane relationship sex between Anne and Jack, who can’t keep it up because he’s busy worrying and thinking.
    • Dufresne was elected quartermaster by the crew, and it was so cute watching Gates and Flint giggle together about Dufresne “chewing a man’s throat out.”
    • Mr. Scott and Eleanor reuniting was bittersweet.  Eleanor is so self-focused on what seems like his betrayal that she doesn’t even show concern that he was sold as a slave.  When he points out his true relationship to her family, she is touched.  So much so that she manages to free all of the slaves from the Andromache and find them paid work.  Yay Eleanor!  It is tragic that now, when they best understand and support each other, they must part ways.  Eleanor is pissed, but I think Mr. Scott is right.  They can’t sustain this healthy relationship if they continue to work together.
    • Flint does NOT handle being accused by Gates very well.  It was totally uncalled for when he, in turn, accused Gates of being a bad father to Billy.  It was a low blow to hurt Gates, though I also think he was displacing the blame he feels himself.
    • Flint really is shocked that his crew would think he sees them as expendable.  This makes what will happen in the next episode extra heartbreaking.
    • Also re: Flint’s lack of self-awareness, he extols “the light of pure reason” with Gates, but his conversation with Miranda reveals that he operates almost entirely upon emotion.  I don’t think he realizes that about himself.
    • Flint kisses Eleanor on the forehead, just like he did to Miranda a couple episodes ago.  Hm!
    • Um, also, while Flint is being accused of keeping secrets “for the good of the crew,” Dufresne, DeGroot, and Other Guy are doing the exact same thing!  They know that if they brought Silver before the crew, he would be hung and the Urca location would be lost.  So instead they act alone!  Which is, I think, the right decision.  So why are they all so hard on Flint?  Because they don’t trust him.  😦  TRUST HIM, YOU FOOLS.
    • Jack is really bad at running a brothel, so Max steps in to show him how it’s done.  While this ought to feel empowering and awesome, I don’t love how she goes about it.  In an attempt to distance herself from her past and her shame, Max 1) slaps a coworker and 2) says, “In my experience, if you do not discipline a whore she will always take advantage.”  Which is just…very dehumanizing?  I’m all for Max rising in station, but I don’t love that it comes at the expense of others.
    • There’s a mutiny against Flint, not just to oust him as captain, but to kill him!!  NOOO.
    • Finally, Vane!  This episode gives us a fascinating glimpse into his past, and while I don’t fully understand it, it’s clear that he’s conquered his demons and literally risen from the grave a stronger man.  It was bizarre to see him stutter and avoid eye contact, and I love the vulnerability that returning to the place where he was a child slave brought out of him.
    • This is the first we see of Vane’s lack of self-preservation in the face of a cause he believes in.  Even when the slave master knows Vane was a slave, he gives him the men Vane needs to take Nassau.  This could be enough, but a “good” slave master is still a slave master to Vane, so he gives a rousing speech of freedom to the men and is “killed” as a result.  But not for long.
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    He looks really good for a recently dead guy.

    Every episode is stronger than the one before it, but this is where I get REALLY emotionally involved in this show.  It’s full-blown obsession from here on out, and I can’t WAIT to rewatch it all again, though hopefully at a slower pace than my first time through!


    Not done reliving the episode?  Listen to Daphne and Liz’s podcast at Fathoms Deep!