One of my longest-running dreams has been to write a book. Ever since I was a child and discovered my love of reading, I have wanted to participate in the creating of a story. I love to write, and have written several books worth of blogs, but any time I have tried to sit down and write a cohesive story, I always got stuck. I couldn’t move past a bad writing day or a new idea that meant changing everything that came before. Thinking I simply needed more structure, I even attempted NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month) in the past. I never got past the first week.
This year, I decided to try again. Not just with the structure of NaNoWriMo, but with the support of a Write a Romance Novel Workshop given by Vanessa Zoltan, the host of two of my favorite podcasts, Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and Hot & Bothered. With classes every Sunday throughout October and November, I was walked through the process of how to prepare to write a 50,000 word novel in one month, and then encouraged to do so through small groups.
Why a Romance Novel?
Although I like to read romance novels, it has never been my goal to write a romance novel specifically. So why sign up and pay for this course? Well, first of all, I felt like it would be fun to learn from Vanessa Zoltan. But I also thought that this might be a nice way to ease into writing a book, since romance novels have traditional character tropes, plot beats, and expectations that give the creation sandbox solid limits to work within.
This turned out to be true! I identified romantic relationships I like in media and used those as guidelines when I needed inspiration for what my characters would do. And when I grew bored or confused about what to write, I could hop over to a Happily Ever After scene, or a Dark Night of the Soul scene, and write that with all its tropey goodness.
Low Expectations
Without a doubt, the best part of the course for me was the consistent messaging that our goal was not to write a book…it was to “write a shitty book.” Over and over again, we were reminded that you cannot edit a blank page, so write literally anything! Another key message was “there’s no honor in getting to 50,000 words,” along with practical advice about how to keep the word count flowing. Some of things I used often were:
Do not, EVER, go back and erase something you’ve already written. I actually decided that the scene where I initially had my meet cute worked better in the middle of the book. Instead of going backwards, I wrote a paragraph describing everything I needed to change and wrote a new summary outline of the book, then I rewrote the scene as I wanted it even though it now technically exists twice in my document. That’s Editor Tricia’s problem!
Introduce a side character that is just you, and if you aren’t feeling inspired, have them tell your main character about their day. As in, my actual day. I gave a lot of therapeutic advice to my main characters through a Mary Sue.
Make your characters do things that you’ve done. I went to see the musical Hadestown during the month I was writing 50,000 words, and I realized I’d forgotten to do my daily allotment. When I got home, I wrote a scene in which my main characters went to Hadestown and then discussed all the things that I was thinking about.
Write for the sake of writing. This is a little vague, but what I mean is that I learned to divorce writing from the finished product. I am doing NOTHING with this book, because I don’t think it’s got legs! And I feel really good about it, because even though the finished product isn’t going anywhere, I learned A LOT about writing skills, style, and discipline.
My inspiration post-its hanging by my desk.
What Next?
I want to keep writing! Probably not 1,666 words per day, because that feels unsustainable. But I have an idea for a next project that I want to chip away at, maybe 500 words per day (having a goal really helped, though I want a smaller one moving forward). I’m keeping in touch with the small group that I was assigned to, and I’m thinking about joining a writing group in Vancouver.
This was such an amazing experience. I feel proud of what I accomplished, but purely in an internal sense. After years of side hustling and monetizing hobbies, it feels really good to have written an entire (terrible) novel and not feel like I need to polish it or try to put it out into the world. External validation and reward is great, but it feels really nice to be satisfied only for my own sake.
What About You?
Have you ever doing NaNoWriMo? Or have you taken an impactful writing course? I want to hear about it!
This is going to be a very long post describing all the details of my wedding to Rachel on June 10, 2023. It is primarily a time capsule for myself so that I can look back and remember all the queer and nerdy joy that I felt that day, but I also wanted to link to the vendors and music that we used, because literally everything was so perfect and I would be happy for anyone to copy our ideas!
The Venue
We got married at Minnekhada Lodge and stayed at PoCo Inn & Suites because the hotel offered shuttle service to the venue for us and our guests.
The venue was absolutely gorgeous with dark wood and cozy lodge vibes. An added and extremely valued benefit was that the space was already beautiful, so we didn’t have to pay for or plan for any decorations. Literally the only decor we bought was a bundle of flowers from Safeway for $80 that we split into my wedding bouquet and two vases to mark gift and favor tables. As someone who has no natural talent for decorating, this was a massive relief.
The Photographer
Tristen from Wander West Photography did our pictures throughout the day. We had already worked with her for our engagement photos and knew she had the chill but detailed vibes that we wanted during our wedding. She was excellent at pointing out small changes to postures or poses and worked quickly to get great photos before we ran out of energy.
The Ceremony
We asked our friends John and Karen to be our officiants, and they did an AMAZING job of creating a ceremony that combined humor and sincerity. I felt like Rachel and I, and our relationship together, was fully represented. I got so many compliments on their behalf that this was the most authentic wedding ceremony they had ever attended, which is exactly the vibe I wanted to create.
We also prioritized our nerdiness in our music choices that included Lord of the Rings, Spirited Away, and Star Wars. And Rachel had the idea to end the ceremony with the phrase “Roll initiative!” as we walked away as wives into the adventure of marriage, which I have to say is just *chef’s kiss*.
We feel so honoured to be here ourselves. Rachel and Tricia have asked us to officiate today’s ceremony, during which they will transform before your very eyes … from girlfriends … into wives!
We’ll start with The Story. Rachel and Tricia asked us to tell a tale of their meeting and their early relationship.
So let us part the veils of reality! … flashing back to 2018 when we met Tricia as Rachel’s eligible and beautiful friend with whom Rachel was … [check notes] … not romantically involved?
Huh. Seemed odd to us, and it turns out there was some ambiguity behind the scenes as well … A meetup dot com get together at the Storm Crow Tavern, two nerdy women looking for friendship in the big city and Tricia was … TWENTY MINUTES LATE.
Record scratch!
Their obvious compatibility quickly smoothed over this initial misstep, and opened the door to hours spent in intimate and nerdy conversation, with brunches sliding into excited afternoons brainstorming over laptops and then, well, we might as well get dinner. Sure, it was fun to find someone excited about the same hobbies. But more than that, it was the exhilaration of sharing their pleasure in the things that they love. Tricia began to giddily tell her friends that she had a “friendship crush.” Oh wait … this might be an actual crush. Rachel, we are told, was in “willful blindness” mode and thought, gee, how nice to have found such a funny, thoughtful, intelligent new friend.
My favourite story from this part of the relationship is really delightful; something was missed at some point during one of these long, luxurious days spent together. Was it a… failed perception check…? A failed attempt to persuade…? We’ll never know for sure, but we do know that one happy day, Rachel invited Tricia for a walk in the moonlight, by the water.
I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING RIGHT. Tricia was thinking that too. This Is IT! I can just see the gleam in Tricia’s eye yes I DO want to go for a walk, in the moonlight, by the water, on this beautiful evening, with you. Heart eyes.
And of course Rachel thought, great! This is a normal thing to do with one’s entirely platonic friend. Water? I like it. Walking? It’s good exercise! Moonlight, well it happens to be evening.
So yes there was a walk and a moon and there was water… and there was NO KISSING.
Finally, Tricia decided to lay her cards on the table. She asked Rachel out on a date. And Rachel … [checks notes] … turned her down?? Boy, this romance really did succeed against all odds.
The truly remarkable part is that somehow, this rejected overture didn’t make things awkward. They stayed close friends for the ensuing year, making it through a major fight over [checks notes??] … Stoicism.
[Stoicism? The ancient Greek school of thought emphasizing the practice of virtue and acceptance of hardship and mortality?]
Yes! This ancient philosophy caused a rift during which they did not speak for three weeks! … actually, that tracks.
Of course, we know where this story leads us, through building community and sharing experience, an accumulation of quality time, that concrescence of moments in a trajectory that builds inevitably to I love you. Or, if the profession of love feels a bit too scary (as it initially did for Rachel and Tricia), announcing that one would like to make a “meaningful statement” … and leaving it at that.
What is so delightful and appealing about this couple is that Rachel and Tricia are conscious and deliberate in their ways of being partners to one another. They are so clear-eyed in asking each other: “What do you want?” and making it so. They are so agentic in their approach to marriage – we’re talking about marriage now, not just partnership! – in a way that we think is so terribly wise. This is something beautiful to behold that truthfully we didn’t fully realize until Rachel and Tricia approached us to officiate their wedding, sat us down, and shared with us their philosophy of marriage. As if such a thing were obvious, a philosophy of marriage, but when you think about and listen to this couple, of course! This is Rachel and Tricia, joyous, delightful, hilarious, awake.
So, now we’re getting serious. We’re going to talk about love.
Love is inseparable from creativity, and loving is an act of creation. When we allow love to spark, then coax and nourish and protect it to full, flourishing maturity, something new is created. So while we often hear that, in love, two become one, perhaps we can also say that two become three: you, me, and us.
In other words, love does not diminish the universe, but expands it. Where once it had the pleasure of containing a Rachel and a Tricia, the universe now also contains something new. A Rachel, a Tricia, and a Trachea.
The bringing forth of something new, something that wasn’t there before – I’m no fantasy expert, but does that not sound suspiciously like … magic? Love is magic. And Rachel and Tricia are magicians.
bell hooks has written,
When we choose to love, we choose to move against fear, against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect, to find ourselves in the other.
She goes on to say that to embrace love is to face our fears, to live courageously. And marriage vows do require courage. After all, humans are mercurial creatures – we are forever growing, changing, learning. When we vow to spend our lives loving each other, we are, as Judith Butler has observed, “committing ourselves in the face of the unknowable.” Butler continues: “If commitment is to be alive, that is, if it is to belong to the present, then the only commitment one can make is to commit oneself again and again. ‘I love you and I choose you again and again.’”
A vow of marriage is not a commitment to the person standing in front of us, exactly as they are, forever and ever. It a commitment to witnessing and loving their changing self. It is a commitment to journeying together, whatever twists and turns the road may offer. It is a promise to stay curious, present, open-hearted, compassionate, and by our beloved’s side.
The Vows
Based upon the vows spoken by Paula and Blanca, the first legalized same-sex marriage in Canada in 2001.
“I take you to be my wife from this moment on. I promise to be there for you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honour you. I vow to give and receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and respond, to respect and to cherish, and to work with you to achieve the goals and dreams of our lives.
For evsies and for realsies.“
Exit Music
“That’s it! You’re married. This is the beginning. Roll for initiative!”
After the ceremony and photographs, we served an afternoon tea to our guests as the main food served at our wedding. Rachel and I love afternoon teas, and splurging on that experience is one of our favorite ways to take in a new city. At a wedding expo, we saw an advertisement for an afternoon tea delivery vendor, which led us to try a couple and land on Sattea Mobile Tea Boutique.
Sattea was wonderful to work with, generous and accommodating. We had a few guests who were either vegetarian or gluten free, and the vendor served guest-specific meals as necessary with no trouble at all.
Like the venue itself, our choice of serving afternoon tea also meant that we didn’t have to plan table decorations, as Sattea provided tablecloths, flowers and vases, and the requisite teacups and tiered trays filled the space nicely.
The one thing we did add to the tables were board games that served to direct guests to their assigned table. For instance, we put Rails & Sails on our parents’ table, because both Rachel’s dad and my dad are train nerds. It was a simple choice that also boosted our nerdy vibes.
Murder Mystery
By far, the thing I heard most both before and after our wedding was excitement about our murder mystery reception. Quite right, too, since it was an absolute highlight. Rachel and I love to host murder mystery parties at our apartment, and we had already fallen in love with Foulplay Games when we met the two women who run the small business at Emerald City Comic Con. On a whim, I reached out to Maddy and Kristen and asked if they could create a game for 50 guests. They adapted one of their already existing games, adding characters and fleshing out plotlines, and the end result was awesome.
I asked my brother to handle every aspect of the murder mystery, so Rachel and I got to fully participate without responsibility. The two of us had a full costume change, and the majority of our guests brought props or costumes to fit into the 1919 carnival-themed game. One guest was murdered by a lion, and there was a balloon lion with Sharpie-added aggression to mark the grisly event. We spent two hours chatting, bribing, and trying to solve the murder before voting on the most likely candidate. I won’t spoil anything about the story, but I will say that I won for Best Costume and Rachel won for Best Performance; I’m sure us being the brides didn’t tip the voting scales in our favour!
If including a murder mystery in your wedding sounds fun to you at all, I highly recommend it. While our guests chatted with the tablemates during afternoon tea, this game got everyone up and talking to people they may never have met otherwise. It’s a helpful icebreaker for introverts, as your character sheet gives you individual goals and people to seek out, so you have a reason to strike up a conversation. And for the remaining three hours of our reception, people had something to talk about and share; the only “downside” was that a lot of people only remember guests by their characters’ names!
Cake and Prophesied Doom
By now, you can probably tell that we chose some fairly untraditional routes for our wedding, and we continued this theme when it came to cakes. Because we served a variety of sweets with afternoon tea, it seemed excessive to spend $500 (minimum!!) on a traditional wedding cake. Instead, we bought our favorite cakes from True Confections: mine was their chocolate Birthday Cake (listen, I don’t care about mixing celebrations, I die for this cake), and Rachel’s was their Dark Belgian Chocolate Mousse (which was conveniently gluten free).
Before I share our cake photo, a little background story: The Tuesday before our wedding we were playing D&D with our regular group, and I asked the oracle character to foretell our wedding using the dice-rolling mechanics she had made up. In addition to some good news, she warned us that there would be “technical failures” and that kids would not enjoy the day. This turned into the greatest gift, because whenever something went slightly wrong, we would loudly complain about the “The prophesied doom is upon us!” This had a lovely way of bringing laughter into stressful situations.
Okay, so the cake. Our Master of Ceremonies, our dear friend Tabitha, forewarned me that the cake had fallen just before it was brought out for our whiskey toast. Rachel and I were delighted! We set the D&D figurines that we’d brought as cake toppers (Irina and Szoldar, the Curse of Strahd characters that we played and through whom Rachel proposed to me) on the fallen cake layers as though they were climbing a mountain and told the audience about the prophesied doom. Everyone laughed, the cake was still delicious, and the night went on.
All the Rest
Some other things that I loved about our wedding in no particular order:
We set out a Polaroid camera for people to take photos, and some of the ones I grabbed are amongst my favorite mementos of the day.
I ordered my dress from JessaKae and felt like an actual princess. It was a little long and I probably should have gotten it altered, but it twirled SO GOOD and that was what was important for me.
Rachel looked really good in her suit, but she hated the fitting experience, so I will not link to the company that made it. If you want to chat wedding suits for female bodies, send me an email and we’ll talk!
We had planned for the last few hours of our wedding to be a board game reception, and there were a couple games that happened, but happily by then, our guests were mingling and chatting and uninterested in thinking strategy.
Our favours were an stolen from my friend Mallory’s wedding. We picked a diverse bunch of our favorite books and let guests choose one to take home with them. We also had rainbow-coloured notebooks and stickers that used the artwork our friend Milo created that show Rachel and me as D&D characters.
We had an abundance of wine and beer at our wedding, and we wound up needing only half of it. A lot was sent home with guests as additional favours, and we still have enough to host a Pride party in August.
Speaking of Pride, I did the math, and our guest list was fully two-thirds queer. One of my friends who has only recently come out told me how safe and sweet it was to be in a majority-queer space, and I am not trying to convince her to move to Vancouver!
I could not have asked for a more perfect wedding day. I’m currently riding that post-wedding high where all of the preparatory stress feels distant and unimportant, and I figure I should throw 10-hour parties for 50 people on a regular basis! I probably won’t, but I’m really proud of the wedding Rachel and I put together. It represented who we are as individuals and as a team, and I came away from the day with a lot of lovely memories AND A WIFE.
Welcome to Queerly Beloved, a series of personal essays about my journey as an LGBTQ+ person planning for my wedding in June 2023. Through this series, I’ll be sharing my thoughts, experiences, and advice as I navigate the joys and challenges of planning a wedding. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help make weddings for queer couples a little bit easier and a lot more fun. So whether you’re getting ready to tie the knot, have already taken the plunge, or just want to join me on my journey for a bit, I invite you to come along for the ride!
When Rachel and I created Roar Cat Reads, we identified six core values that we wanted to inform the experience. Those values have proved to be very useful in keeping ourselves focused on what truly matters, and we put them to use in planning our wedding.
This felt especially important as a way to resist the siren call of the wedding industrial complex. Because I am the event planner and dreamer of our partnership, I was the one with wedding Pinterest boards and a slew of wedding podcasts queued up. This was very useful in many ways, but it was also easy for me to start thinking, “We have to do this, because everyone talks about it like a done deal.” Luckily, Rachel has mostly stayed out of these spaces, so when I start to spiral, she will suggest a walk through Stanley Park where we talk and re-center ourselves in our values. The four values we keep coming back to are Integrity, Simplicity, Equality, and Community.
Integrity
In the wedding context, integrity meant staying true to ourselves. There are a lot of assumptions about what is required for a party to be a wedding, and I found it difficult sometimes to find that balance between something that is meaningful for our relationship while still feeling recognizably like a wedding (which was important to me). Here are some examples of things we changed to fit our preferences and relationships:
No dancing! Neither Rachel nor I like to dance beyond a chaotic de-stressing living room flail. Ironically, this was one of the easiest things we decided to throw out, but one of the most entrenched assumptions we’ve run into when talking to people about our wedding.
Board game reception! In place of dancing, we’re gaming. One of Rachel’s bridesmaids told us to “plan a party you would want to go to,” and from there it was obvious that we needed to include board games in our reception.
No giving away! I’ve never been a fan of fathers giving away daughters during the ceremony, but I do think it’s nice when families walk their kid down the aisle. However, that felt weirdly performative for us, since both of our parents live in separate countries and anyway, we’ve lived together for nearly three years. We’re going to walk down the aisle together, instead, to symbolize that getting married is just one step along a path we’re already on.
Afternoon tea! Rachel and I love an afternoon tea. It’s one of our favorite things to do while traveling, and we’ve been slowly but surely building up the accoutremonts to host afternoon teas at home. So when we found out we could hire an afternoon tea caterer, we knew that reflected who we are and what we love.
Simplicity
I love planning, but that love does not extend to decorating. Thinking about how to decorate the space was literally the thing that caused me the most stress. Wedding colors? Flowers? Bunting? No thank you! Instead of decorations, it was important for us to find a venue that had enough character that we could get away with minimal decor.
I think simplicity also meant having a “good enough” mentality throughout the planning process. This was especially relevant in choosing our wedding outfits. We were both ambivalent about what we wanted, which is SO not allowed in the wedding world. There is so much pressure to have a magical moment with your clothing. Neither of us had that, but we did have a “that’s good enough” moment, which truly was good enough!
What simplicity did NOT mean for us was saving money to the point of not enjoying the party. We splurged when we wanted to, like when we decided to go with an afternoon tea meal. It also applied to hair and makeup; I figured I could just handle that with a good enough mentality, but my bridespeople said, “Would it feel fun to take advantage of the opportunity to be made up by someone else?” And you know what, I think it would!
Equality
We have some friends who are vegetarians and/or gluten free, and it was important to us to find food that would be appealing to everyone. More importantly, we didn’t want gf or veggie options to feel othering. Afternoon tea for the win! Because it’s served on tiered platters, special menus can be assigned without looking any different from other people’s food.
This is maybe a stretch to include, but I’ve always known I didn’t want to do a bouquet toss. I hated this tradition when I was single, as it made being single seem like a problem to be solved. We weren’t going to do anything in its place, but then I saw a stuffed cat toss that I really want to do instead! While I do not want to shame someone for being single, I DO want to shame someone for being catless, and whoever catches the stuffed cat will be the next person to adopt a feline friend.
Community
This was, by far, the most important value that we kept returning to over and over again. The whole point of hosting a wedding (for me) is to gather the people I love in one place. Whenever I got lost in details or started worrying that something wouldn’t be perfect, this value reminded me that it doesn’t matter if something goes wrong. What matters are the family and friends who I get to celebrate with.
What values help keep you sane while planning a stressful event? What do you center your decisions on?
Today marks the two year anniversary of Roar Cat Reads!
So much has happened since I launched this site on March 4, 2021. What started as a creative outlet during Covid has turned into a vibrant community of queer nerds that plays games together, recommends books, and hosts charity events together. I am so grateful for everything that came from Roar Cat Reads, and I’m really proud of what has been done in just a two year time period.
Charity Events
Today is our 4th charity event raising money for Rainbow Refugee (seriously, if you’re reading this on March 4th, hop over to Twitch to watch us hosting live!). In previous events, you’ve helped us raise $9,826, and today we hope to raise another $2,000.
After our first charity events, Rachel and I wanted to get more involved with Rainbow Refugee. We joined Prism Collective, a group of six people who have been matched with an LGBTQ+ refugee. We’re working to raise $25,000 to fund this refugee’s first year in Vancouver. When that is done and they move here, we’re also committed to helping them for their first year with housing, jobs, and finding community.
This has been such a cool thing to become a part of, and it wouldn’t have happened without Roar Cat Reads.
I’ve run many book review blogs, but this is the first that is specifically dedicated to queer books. As of this date, I’ve reviewed 115 books, all of which you can find here.
Streaming and Podcasts
Over the past two years, Rachel and I have found our creative interests meandering across various platforms. In addition to blogging, we’ve shared our queer nerdy thoughts in the following places:
DM’s Pocket Guide Podcast, where we take one rule, spell, or monster from D&D 53 and discuss it in nine minutes or less.
Twitch Affiliate, where Rachel streams simulator video games regularly and occasionally we stream TTRPGs
YouTube Playlists, where we’ve archived previous charity events, Tricia’s play through of Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core, and queer book panels.
Blog Series
Adventure Queers: Interviews with queer nerds who are doing cool things
TTRPG Reviews: In depth reviews of TTPRGs and D&D modules
Ko-Fi TTRPG Products
When we finish a significant creative project, we share it on Ko-Fi for free! While donations are always hugely appreciated, we love sharing the stories and projects that we dream up.
Owlbears: Fearsome Foe or Fierce Friend? D&D Adventure
9 downloads
Common Sense & Sensibility, a Regency Lady TTRPG
29 downloads
School Sucks: a Supernatural High School Halloween D&D Adventure
62 downloads
Walking Across Middle-earth
54 downloads
The Tome of Ireena Kolyana
45 downloads
Beyond Roar Cat Reads
We’ve had the honour of sharing our queer nerdy thoughts on other people’s platforms, including:
By far my favorite thing that has come of this site is our Discord community. Rachel and I started Roar Cat Reads to connect with queer nerds in Vancouver and beyond, and this is the heart of that community. If you like any of the things that I’ve posted above, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy the people and conversations happening in our Discord. Stop by and say hello!
Thank you for making these two years so much fun! I can’t wait to see what is in our future!
Welcome to Queerly Beloved, a series of personal essays about my journey as an LGBTQ+ person planning for my wedding in June 2023. Through this series, I’ll be sharing my thoughts, experiences, and advice as I navigate the joys and challenges of planning a wedding. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help make weddings for queer couples a little bit easier and a lot more fun. So whether you’re getting ready to tie the knot, have already taken the plunge, or just want to join me on my journey for a bit, I invite you to come along for the ride!
Rachel and I knew from the beginning that we were going to have a small wedding, and for us, that also meant having a small wedding party. When it came to choosing the people who I wanted to stand beside me as I marry Rachel, I took the following questions into consideration:
Have I known them for a decently long time?
Did I know them before I met Rachel?
Were they supportive when I first came out and started dating Rachel?
Are they “good vibes” people who I know will make me feel better when stressed?
Are they planners who I know I can count on take care of themselves as well as projects along the way?
Please notice that one (often implied) qualification that was not on my list: they do not have to be a woman! One of the best things about being in a queer relationship is that the norm is already disrupted. There’s a lot more mental freedom to shake things up, and I didn’t want to limit my wedding party by gender any more than I’m limiting my dating options.
Roy, the Best Maid
I’ve known Roy for nearly 35 years…because he’s my older brother! In addition to being siblings, I’m grateful that we’ve become friends. We share a lot in common, from nerdy interests to a love of travel. After years of living all over the world, we’ve both wound up in the Pacific Northwest, and it is such a joy to get to hang out on a regular basis.
When I came out, Roy was the first person I told. Actually, he was asking whether I was into girls before I even knew that I was!
Michal Ann, the Bridesmaid
Michal Ann and I have been friends since we first sat beside each other at seminary ten years ago. We immediately bonded over feeling too progressive for the space, and she has been a confidant, friend, and inspiration ever since.
Although we were far from our seminary-selves when I came out to her, I was still anxious about telling people from the more conservative spaces of my life. She reacted with complete joy, sent me encouraging memes, and never lets a moment pass to tell me how happy she is that I’ve found Rachel.
Giving Gifts
Both people in my wedding party live outside of Vancouver and will have to travel to my wedding. That’s already a big ask, so I have tried to be generous in other ways to acknowledge their generosity. I also love gifts and taking opportunities to elevate something into a celebration. For me, that has meant:
Inviting them into my wedding party by ordering gift baskets delivered to their house asking them to be my bridesmaid. Fun!
Buying cheesy t-shirts with “I Do Crew” on them for our bachelorette weekend.
Not mandating a certain outfit to be worn. I truly don’t care about decorations or The Look, and I do care about my favorite people being comfortable and feeling good.
Setting Expectations
If you clocked the last item on my “how to choose a wedding party member” list at the top of the page, I am a checklist person, and I value other checklist people! I knew I had chosen the right people for me when both of them, during our first “You’re in my wedding party!” conversations, asked, “What do you need me to do?”
I was clear from the beginning that I mostly want them to be hype people. I want them to take it on as a job that when I post pictures in our group chat, that they will respond with exclamation points and heart emojis. They have done that amazingly well.
Equally important, I want them to help me when I’m stuck or when something goes wrong. Our first venue bailed on us under very shady circumstances ten months after we had booked it, and my wedding party were the first people I went to (other than Rachel, obviously). They did everything I needed, from empathizing and raging to giving me concrete and practical advice about how to handle the situation.
As we near the wedding date, I may need them for more specific projects, but time will tell and I know they’ll be fully capable of anything I ask of them.
How would you choose who to include in your wedding party? I’m so curious what people prioritize and value! Leave a comment and let me know.
Welcome to Queerly Beloved, a series of personal essays about my journey as an LGBTQ+ person planning for my wedding in June 2023. Through this series, I’ll be sharing my thoughts, experiences, and advice as I navigate the joys and challenges of planning a wedding. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help make weddings for queer couples a little bit easier and a lot more fun. So whether you’re getting ready to tie the knot, have already taken the plunge, or just want to join me on my journey for a bit, I invite you to come along for the ride!
Early in the wedding planning process, I was super excited to get engagement photos taken; I think the idea of having a concrete representation of our decision really appealed to me. After some stressful online searching, I found Tristan of Wander West Photography. I loved her bright, clean photos (I’m not a fan of artsy wedding photographers – I want to see people’s happy faces!) and the fact that she had photos of same-sex couples in her portfolio.
I am so grateful to have chosen Tristan, because she has made the whole experience comfortable and fun. Some of the things I most appreciated about her are:
She is part of the rainbow mafia, and she expressed excitement about having the opportunity to shoot a queer couple.
She asked how comfortable we were with PDA, especially in the context of being queer women showing affection in public spaces. She made it clear that we could nix any photo ideas that made us feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
We made it clear from the beginning that neither of us are naturally good at modeling or posing, and she offered simple instructions throughout the shoot on where to stand, how to hold each other, and where to put our hands or faces.
She took a broad range of shots and tried different things, but she moved quickly so that I never felt stuck in one position or like I wasn’t get a particular idea correct.
I cannot stress how much I went into the engagement photo shoot feeling overwhelmed and unsure, but she turned the experience into something really fun and comfortable.
Consider These Practicalities
As with all things wedding related, do not Google “wedding photographer” or “engagement photographer.” Instead, search for photographers and check their website to see if they shoot weddings. This will open up your search to cheaper options!
Use your wedding photographer to take your engagement photos. This gives you a chance to see their work (and choose someone else for the wedding, in a worst case scenario) and to see what it’s like to work with them.
Look for evidence that they work with same-sex and/or gender diverse clients. Additionally, ask them how their experience working with queer clients; their answer will be illuminating!
Choose a photographer that you will feel comfortable around. Are you able to state your opinions, desires, and wishes? Do you feel listened to? Do they make you feel comfortable?
Choose outfits that complement each other, either in style, colour, or both.
This is definitely just my opinion, but we wore outfits that are pretty much just us on a regular (though slightly elevated) day. I wanted to be able to look at these pictures and see the everyday aspects of our relationships, as the fancy versions of ourselves would be documented at the wedding.
Use your engagement photos in Save the Dates, invitations, your wedding website, and Christmas cards.
Taking Photos in Stanley Park
Our engagement photo session lasted just one hour, and because we chose a location in Stanley Park with diverse backdrops, we came away with a lot of really cool photos in a short amount of time!
The Bridge
The Foliage
The Beach
The Outtakes
No photoshoot is complete without the pictures that didn’t QUITE achieve the desired outcome. I loved that Tristan included these in the finished photos she sent us; they make me crack up every time I see them!
Welcome to Queerly Beloved, a series of personal essays about my journey as an LGBTQ+ person planning for my wedding in June 2023. Through this series, I’ll be sharing my thoughts, experiences, and advice as I navigate the joys and challenges of planning a wedding. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help make weddings for queer couples a little bit easier and a lot more fun. So whether you’re getting ready to tie the knot, have already taken the plunge, or just want to join me on my journey for a bit, I invite you to come along for the ride!
I grew up in a social system where church was center of everything. I attended innumerable wedding showers, ceremonies, and receptions for people at our Baptist church, and I always assumed I would get married by my pastor with hundreds of people in attendance.
Then I fell in love with a woman and agreed to marry her.
The mental image I had of my wedding had to shift dramatically. In the years that we were dating, I had thought about this in the abstract and assumed I was prepared. But when the engagement was official and wedding planning began, I was hit by a wave of grief that surprised me in its intensity. I couldn’t assume universal goodwill toward my marriage. I no longer trusted that the people who raised me and supported me for 30 years would want to celebrate one of the most significant moments of my life.
For me, one of the most stressful parts of this was that so much hinged on assumptions. I was lucky enough, I suppose, not to experience anyone explicitly cutting off our relationship when I came out. What I experienced instead was radio silence. People who used to be intimately involved in my life and relationships suddenly had nothing to say. In many cases, I had no idea how they would respond if I invited them to my wedding.
And that was the thing my anxious brain hated the most. There were a couple people who I knew would say no, and they did. That didn’t really bother me, because it was clearcut and I could prepare my heart for the disappointment. But the people whose decisions I wasn’t sure about? I imagined them having heartfelt conversations around the dinner table about whether attending my wedding would be a sin or not. About whether showing up at my wedding would be giving tacit approval of the “homosexual lifestyle” and how that would be perceived by others. It made me feel sick.
In the end, it was my bridesmaid Michal Ann who made everything very clear. “You’re an amazing person,” she said over the phone. “Anyone who doesn’t appreciate you for exactly who you are doesn’t deserve to come to your wedding. And it’s their loss.”
In addition to showing off exactly why I chose her to stand beside me on my wedding day, she helped me to reframe this decision. I’m the same person I’ve always been – silly and passionate and kind. If people no longer want to be close to me because I’m going to marry a woman, that is their loss! I don’t need to waste my emotions on wondering whether someone will want to be there on one of the biggest days of my life. I want to prioritize people who I know want to be there on one of the biggest days of my life.
We’ve chosen a venue with a max capacity of 50 guests. That necessity helps to justify why there will be fewer people at my wedding than I imagined when growing up. But I’ve come to appreciate how lucky I am that I know each of those 50 people loves me deeply and completely, just as I am. Those are the people I want to celebrate with.
Welcome to Queerly Beloved, a series of personal essays about my journey as an LGBTQ+ person planning for my wedding in June 2023. Through this series, I’ll be sharing my thoughts, experiences, and advice as I navigate the joys and challenges of planning a wedding. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help make weddings for queer couples a little bit easier and a lot more fun. So whether you’re getting ready to tie the knot, have already taken the plunge, or just want to join me on my journey for a bit, I invite you to come along for the ride!
Why Get Married?
I’ve always been a romantic. One of my Halloween costumes when I was a kid was a bride. Not Frankenstein’s bride or something seasonally appropriate; just a bride with a white dress and a veil. I wore that costume as a nightgown until I finally outgrew it, physically if not emotionally.
I know marriage isn’t for everyone, but I grew up with couples whose marriages inspired me to look for something similar. My maternal grandparents in particular have the sort of love, loyalty, and care that I’ve always hoped to find for myself. So when I met Rachel, it was obvious that we would get married!
Just kidding.
When I met Rachel, she was a year out from separating from her first wife. Although they remained amicable (and this was a huge green flag to me), she was understandably Done with romance. One of my first memories with her is watching season six of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and her jeering at Spike for being so needy. “Oh no,” I thought. “I think he’s romantic!”
During our year as friends, Rachel began to date again and I came to terms with being queer. We individually flirted with the idea of polyamory, to the point that I took my shot by asking her out while she was actively dating someone else. She turned me down, which was an indication that she didn’t actually want an open relationship. Deep down, we are U-Haul lesbians who just want to hide in the safe harbour of our love!! What? I did start this essay by admitting I’m romantic.
A few months after we started dating, we had an open conversation about what we wanted long term. As a counsellor and as an anxious person, I’m a big believer in talking honestly about your relationship expectations sooner rather than later. “Getting married isn’t a deal breaker for me, but it is something I am interested in,” I said. Rachel thought for a minute, then said, “Getting married isn’t something I’m interested in, but it’s not a deal breaker.”
That’s where we were for over a year, though we also moved in together and opened a shared bank account. I felt more settled with the idea that commitment doesn’t require legalizing the relationship with an expensive party. Rachel healed from her previous relationship and admitted that she is just as much a romantic as I am, if not more. I learned of this change when one day she turned to me and said, out of the blue, “I’m going to marry you someday.” I’m not sure exactly what my response was, but it probably entailed me physically leaping on her and demanding, “Are you serious!?”
Okay, so I still really wanted to get married.
Over time, it became accepted that we were on the Marriage Path, but it wasn’t until we were engaged that we attended couple’s counselling and identified why we wanted to get married. For both of us, the legal and formal aspects weren’t important. Our relationship was just as valid whether we were partners or wives. It’s the symbolism of marriage that made a wedding desirable.
I won’t speak for Rachel, but for me, there is something uniquely special about gathering friends and family together at a wedding to say, “This relationship is special. This person is special, and what we’re building together deserves celebration. It’s also going to require flexibility and hard work, so we’re asking you to be our community of support, both individually and as a couple.”
Putting on fancy outfits and hiring a caterer doesn’t fundamentally change our relationship. But it does change the feel of it. Ritual adds weight to a thing, and the ritual of a wedding gives our relationship solidity. It’s not necessary, but it’s beautiful.
As of this posting, we are five months away from our wedding. I would love Rachel the same even if we never got married, but I’m excited to layer our relationship with the symbols of marriage and the label of wife.
Tricia walked 19 miles this week | 1033 miles to Mordor
Walking Across Middle-Earth
Week 32: I Made it to Caradhras!
When I made Walking Across Middle-Earth, I intentionally included some short journeys between milestones to counterbalance some of these massive distances (250 miles between Rivendell and Hollin!!). This was one of those short jaunts, because the poor Fellowship started up a mountain and then decided it was too hard. Relatable.
I had originally thought that I would hike the Grouse Grind during this section of the walk, but it’s cold and dreary here in Vancouver, so while that actually makes it perfect, I just couldn’t muster the energy or interest. The closest I got to representing Caradhras was accidentally being in Victoria when it snowed, which is, maybe, kind of treacherous.
Now I’m on working on 68 miles to Moria…will I treat myself by visiting a mine?
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If you want to join our Fellowship, let me know by emailing roarcatreads@gmail.com and I’ll add you to our What’s App group. It’s never too late to join in – we want there to be walkers at every stage of the journey!
Tricia walked 21 miles this week | 1092 miles to Mordor Rachel walked 21 miles this week | 1005 miles to Mordor
Walking Across Middle-Earth
Week 29: I Made it to Hollin!
Whew, what a slog! It was 250 miles from Rivendell to Hollin, and it took me TWO AND A HALF MONTHS to walk it.
‘Yes, and where then?’ asked Merry.
‘To the end of the journey — in the end,’ said Gandalf. ‘We cannot look too far ahead. Let us be glad that the first stage is safely over. I think we will rest here, not only today but tonight as well. There is a wholesome air about Hollin. Much evil must befall a country before it wholly forgets the Elves, if once they dwelt there.’
The Fellowship of the Ring, LoTR Book 2, Ch 3, The Ring Goes South
During this part of my journey, I was able to start working from home full-time. While this was great for my personal life, it meant I did not get transit steps every workday. For a while, my weekly miles were abysmally low, but a couple weeks ago I made a push to go outside more often. The real key to getting steps, however? Walking the circuit from kitchen to living room and back…for up to four miles, some days! I may have bruises from bumping against the table while trying to read and walk at the same time, but I made it to Hollin, and now all that stands before me is… Caradhras the Cruel.
Join the Fellowship
Download maps and spreadsheets for free at our Ko-Fi shop!
If you want to join our Fellowship, let me know by emailing roarcatreads@gmail.com and I’ll add you to our What’s App group. It’s never too late to join in – we want there to be walkers at every stage of the journey!
Tricia walked 20 miles this week | 1330 miles to Mordor Rachel walked 30 miles this week | 1315 miles to Mordor
Walking Across Middle-Earth
Week 18: I Made it to Rivendell!
This post is a little late. I got to Rivendell in mid-August, just in time to daydream about how I could incorporate Emerald City Comic Con into my celebration. Rachel had reached Rivendell in early July (she flies!) and we spent the majority of our ECCC experience wandering the Exhibitors and Artists Alley for the perfect LotR merch.
There were a lot of great options, and I ended up choosing a watercolour triptych with scenes from each movie in the trilogy balanced on a sword. Rachel got a bottle opener shaped like the shards of Narsil. Why the sword theme? Well, it’s in Rivendell that Bilbo gives Sting to Frodo, and in the books, Aragorn leaves the elven city equipped with Narsil’s shards reforged. Initially, Rachel wanted to get an actual sword, but ECCC only sold foam swords (probably smart), and in the end a real sword felt more like an End of the Journey reward.
We also ran into the Eye of Sauron at ECCC. We saw her from afar twice, and when we passed near her a third time, we knew we had to ask for a photo. As we thanked her and turned away, she said, “I have something for you,” and handed us each a plastic gold ring. “Don’t worry if you experience any side effects.”
AMAZING.
Tricia’s Tracker
Rachel’s Tracker
Join the Fellowship
If you want to join our Fellowship, let me know by emailing roarcatreads@gmail.com and I’ll add you to our What’s App group. It’s never too late to join in – we want there to be walkers at every stage of the journey!
Tricia walked 22 miles this week | 1350 miles to Mordor Rachel walked 12 miles this week | 1221 miles to Mordor
Walking Across Middle-Earth
Week 17: I Made it to the Stone Trolls!
It’s been over four months since we started this project, and I have to say I’m really proud of us for keeping it up. It has been really eye-opening, both in understanding my own walking habits but also in realizing just how much ground the hobbits covered in the first section of their journey. It’s a long way from the Shire to Rivendell, and they were half my size and without shoes!
When I reached the Stone Trolls (420 miles!), I knew exactly how I wanted to celebrate the milestone. Frodo and Sam were raised hearing Bilbo’s stories about the trolls, and here they realize their lives are intersecting with his adventures. One of my favorite movies plays with similar themes, but because it’s a tear jerker, Rachel won’t watch it unless it’s a special occasion (she does not find sobbing uncontrollably enjoyable in the way that I do).
Big Fish is a Tim Burton movie starring Ewan McGregor, and it’s all about a son trying to understand his father by separating fact from fiction before realizing it’s more complicated than he assumes. It’s absolutely excellent, and yes, we did sob uncontrollably. From CATHARSIS.
Tricia’s Tracker
Rachel’s Tracker
Join the Fellowship
Download maps and spreadsheets for free at our Ko-Fi shop!
If you want to join our Fellowship, let me know by emailing roarcatreads@gmail.com and I’ll add you to our What’s App group. It’s never too late to join in – we want there to be walkers at every stage of the journey!
Tricia walked 31 miles this week | 1549 miles to Mordor Rachel walked 30 miles this week | 1428 miles to Mordor
Walking Across Middle-Earth
Week 9: I Made it to Weathertop, Time to Get Stabbed!
I planned to celebrate my arrival at Weathertop (251 miles into my Middle-Earth journey!) by asking Rachel if she would care for me as though I’d been stabbed by a Morgul blade. This turned out to be more necessary than I’d intended, because I went to a full-body massage the same day and had one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life.
Some context: For the past six months or so, there have been chunks of time where I experience severe lower back pain when I first wake up. When I went for the massage (which I hoped would help with the lower back pain and with general carrying-anxiety-in-my-shoulders), the actual 60-minute session was lovely! I felt like a hot bowl of soup at the end, and the masseuse told me she would slip out while I got redressed. That’s when the horror began.
I tried to sit up, and my lower back spasmed, more painfully than it ever had before. I couldn’t move, it hurt so badly, and let me tell you: It is a unique terror to be naked and unable to move!! In desperation, I just kind of…rolled myself along the massage table to get nearer the chair full of my clothes. I tried to stand to reach them, but couldn’t. So I stretched my arm as far as it could go and nearly cried with relief as I managed to grab each piece of clothing and put it on. Next were my socks and shoes, but the floor was somehow further away from me than it had ever been before. I awkwardly threw myself to the ground so that I could reach them without bending over, put them on, and clawed myself upright.
By then, I had moved enough that my back was slightly less excruciating, and I was able to walk. However, I had taken far longer to get dressed than could be reasonably expected. When I opened the door for the masseuse to return, I said, “Um, my back hurt when I tried to get up, like…pretty bad.”
“Huh,” she said, “Well, try these stretches for your neck.”
“But I had a hard time standing up. It was like I described before the massage, how in the mornings my lower back hurts?”
“Hmm. You must have been so relaxed that when you try to move, your back spasms.”
“How can this…stop happening?”
The masseuse directed me to sit down in a chair and stand up while being conscious of using my core to do so. “Just do this today and help your body remember how to be a body.”
HELP MY BODY REMEMBER HOW TO BE A BODY? When did it forget?? No one told me that bodies could just forget how to perform basic functions!
“Haha, that’s uh, pretty embarrassing!” I said, shuffling toward my backpack so that I could make an exit out of this hellscape.
“Oh, don’t be embarrassed. Come back next month!”
Like heck I will, Witch-Queen of Massages! I hobbled to the skytrain station, and by the time I got home, the only thing that still hurt was my pride. I flopped onto the couch, and Rachel dutifully cared for my wounded spirit, which had left this plane of existence and was fully occupied with the horror of my 34-year-old body just…forgetting how to body with no real solution other than “sit while using your core for one day”!
Anyway, I made it to Weathertop.
Tricia’s Tracker
Massage horror aside, I’m pleased with my progress. I haven’t had any big weeks lately, but I’m happy with a slow-and-steady pace for now!
Rachel’s Tracker
Rachel is still going further than me each week, but with miles in the 30s it’s a breeze compared to her earlier records.
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If you want to join our Fellowship of five, let me know by emailing roarcatreads@gmail.com. It’s never too late to join in – we want there to be walkers at every stage of the journey!
Tag your social media photos and stories with
#rcrhobbitjourney to encourage each other!
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Black Sails is a television show about queer wrath, and if you weren’t already aware of this fact, I can only assume you haven’t watched it yet. Beware: this post will include spoilers for all four seasons of the best television show ever made (in my entirely correct opinion).
Evangelicals and Captain Flint’s “Dragons” Speech in Black Sails
“They took everything from us, and then they call ME a monster?”
So, queer wrath. We are introduced to our protagonist, Captain James Flint, as a man set against England and civilization. He wants to establish a self-sustaining pirate community in Nassau, and he will hunt ships and steal gold to make his vision a reality. It’s all very stereotypically pirate until season two reveals his motivation. James McGraw (his name before he became an infamous pirate) was in love with an English nobleman. When their relationship was discovered, James was exiled and his lover Thomas was sent to an asylum, where he died(ish – unbury your gays!). To avenge his loss and to rage against this supposed “civilized” decision, Captain Flint became the terror we initially met in season one.
I think it is appropriate to stop for a second and think about how incredible it is that we were given a prestige television show about a queer man (fans read him as either bisexual or gay) who is powerful, angry, and righteous. Black Sails, man. Watch it!
“There is freedom in the dark.”
By season 4, Flint has tempered his personal injustice with a broader awareness of the oppression that “civilized” England forces upon multiple oppressed groups, including the African men and women who have escaped slavery and have now joined his fight against English rule. He has lost more loved ones, gained new allies, and dare I say, become wise. In the final episode of the show, he describes the problem with civilization and the freedom that comes from stepping away from its rules. It is a beautiful speech, and it changed my life.
“They paint the world full of shadows and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light, their reason, their judgements, because in the darkness there be dragons. But it isn’t true. We can prove that it isn’t true. In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark when someone has illuminated it. And who has been so close as we are right now?”
Captain James Flint, Black Sails season 4 episode 10 XXXVIII
“Their light, their reason, their judgements, because in the darkness there be dragons.”
Every time I watch this scene or read these words, they hit a little deeper. I have shared my story on this blog before, but the important thing to know is that I grew up evangelical and happy to follow all of its rules. The imagery Flint uses is especially poignant, since Christians are fond of using “light” metaphors to describe being close to God and therefore “safe.” Anything beyond the behavioural limits described in the Bible was considered not only sinful but dangerous. Outside of God’s protection, there be dragons! I was constantly told that non-Christians were to be pitied because their lives were empty (oh man, admitting this is causing me so much embarrassment); they were all seeking corrupted pleasures to fill the void that was the lack of God in their life.
One of the most significant light/dark dichotomies was, obviously, sexuality. Christians approved of lifelong monogamous heterosexuality within the context of marriage, and…nothing else. But practically, this strict boundary was made flexible for several culturally accepted sins like remarriage or sex before marriage (as long as you felt bad about it). The things that were truly sinful were any sexual act that wasn’t heterosexual or monogamous. I was warned against these my entire life, or as Flint says, “They paint the world full of shadows and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light, their reason, their judgements, because in the darkness there be dragons.“
It is easy to maintain this worldview if you stay inside the evangelical bubble. Although I pushed against my upbringing in many ways, it wasn’t until I moved to Vancouver and became a part of friend groups who were not Christians that I truly experienced stepping into the “darkness”…and realizing it wasn’t dark at all. I found people who created community, who thought deeply about the world and who cared about helping those who needed help.
“In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark when someone has illuminated it.”
I was surrounded by queer couples who were married, partnered, and dating. I found myself in a queer relationship, and the thing I noticed was that they were fundamentally the same as the monogamous heterosexual couples I’d grown up with. Yes, there were couples who struggled in a variety of ways, but there were those in the church that raised me too. Overall, though, I found the same love, the same care, the same devotion. In fact, in many ways, queer couples seemed healthier than the ones I grew up around – the mutual submission I defended in seminary against complementarians was suddenly expected. When gender roles cannot be assumed, conversations about family roles, desires, and strengths become the norm. As Flint says, “In the darkness there be dragons. But it isn’t true. We can prove that it isn’t true. In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark when someone has illuminated it.“
This is my small attempt to illuminate the darkness. To tell those who create their own stories of light and dark that the things they fear so much are not actually scary. In fact, I think evangelicals could learn a lot from the queer community! And honestly, I think the queer community can also learn from evangelicals. When we create lines that separate, we lose the ability to learn from those who see things differently from ourselves and can offer a perspective that reveals something new and important for our own lives.
Let’s follow Flint’s lead and illuminate the dark spaces that people create out of fear, hate, and ignorance. It’s Pride Month, baby, so let’s be proud of the dragons we are!
Do you love Black Sails? Check out our in-depth reviews of each episode.
Roar Cat Reads is a queer, nerdy place for LGBTQIA2S+ folk during the entire year, but like birthdays and holidays, it’s always nice to have some specific attention. So get out your rainbows (metaphorical or literal) and celebrate yourself and the queer folk around you! Happy Pride!
If you’re new to Roar Cat Reads or want to learn more about what we do, this is your one-stop shop for all things queer and nerdy!
If you’ve always wanted to join a book club but don’t want to commit to reading a specific book by a specific time, you can join Roar Cat Reading Hour! We meet online on the last Tuesday of every month to discuss whatever we’ve been reading lately and offer suggestions and recommendations to each other.
Are you a queer reader who wants to talk about a book that you love? Email roarcatreads@gmail.com to participate in our Queer Books, Queer Readers series!
Tabletop Games
We love to play D&D and other TTRPGs. You can join our Discord community to play Wanderhome online once or twice a month. Join us as a GM or as a player!
Every week we release an episode of the podcast DM’s Pocket Guide, where take one rule, spell, or monster from D&D 5e and discuss it in nine minutes or less.
Rachel and Tricia are professional GMs who can be hired to run a session or set of up-to-10 sessions specific to your preferences for $12.50/session.
Roar Cat Reads 