A couple months ago, I created 5 LGBTQ+ Book Characters I Want in My D&D Party, and I had so much fun! I couldn’t stop with books when there are so many excellent queer TV characters that I would love to throw together into a D&D party.
To start with, I must (of course) choose Captain James Flint from Black Sails, my favorite character of all time! I see him as a Lawful Neutral Battlemaster Fighter. He’s a brilliant tactician and a pirate captain, so the “lawful” part of my decision might seem strange. But one of the best parts of the show is the slow unveiling of his military background. Although occasionally chaotic (especially in season 3, yikes!), I believe he is fundamentally lawful. I wanted to give him the “good” alignment because he is my very good boy, but let’s be real, he does some seriously bad stuff. Committing evil for the sake of good balances out to neutral.
[SIDE NOTE: It is a testament to Black Sails that I could have made an entire queer D&D party from its characters alone. Please know I desperately wanted to include Anne, my other favorite angry queer redhead.]
Every captain needs a first mate, and there’s none better than Pearl from Stephen Universe. Can you imagine this tall slim alien gem enforcing Captain Flint’s orders? I CAN, and it is beautiful. I would cast my favorite anxiety lesbian as a Lawful Good Paladin, so long as we agree that her adoration of Rose counts as worshipping a deity. I’ve got to move on, because now I’m picture Pearl and Flint in a fusion dance, and my brain can’t stop being delighted by this weird mashup.
Let’s get some magic in this party! Who better to include than the recently official bisexual (in the MCU anyway)… Loki! I barely have to try with him, as he is obviously a Chaotic Neutral Sorcerer. The true joy here is imagining Flint and Pearl desperately trying to keep his machinations from derailing their plans. But you just KNOW that Flint would come up with the perfect plan to unleash his charming chaos onto the world.
Just in case Loki double-crosses everyone, I’m adding Perfuma from She-Ra to the group for some Lawful Good Druid magic. I am not sure if she is canonically queer, but she’s definitely dating Scorpia, right?? Anyway, I’m claiming her. The group might be a little intimidating to her at first, but Perfuma grew a lot during the series and learns to embrace all kinds of people. I enjoy the thought of her hugging the other people in this D&D party and the pained faces they would make at such a display of affection.
The person making the most uncomfortable face? Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, our Chaotic Good Barbarian! We definitely need a non-cartoon woman on this team, and she is just the person to mop up all the baddies whilst also engaging in stone-faced office pranks during their time off. She would be especially useful at anticipating and thwarting Loki’s mischievousness since she’s had a lot of practice with Jake and Gina.
There we are! Captain James Flint, Pearl, Loki, Perfuma, and Rosa Diaz are my dream team of queer TV characters. Who would you include?